The Durgacile

Webster comes to Japan: the City Connection

2009-11-09T16:34:00.004+09:00

I ran across a rather odd but interesting tidbit the other day - do you remember that show Webster with Emmanuel Lewis (the perpetual kid) from back in the 80's? No? Well if you're too young for that then first off thanks for making me feel old, but not to fret. That's what South Park is for! He's at the end as the spokesman for Webster's Dictionary. South Park, bridging generational gaps for 13 years and going (ok, maybe not quite).

So anyway, what does Emmanuel Lewis have to do with Japan? Well, I just found out that he, like many a celebrity from the 80's, made a commercial in Japan in 1981 for Clarion stereo equipment. What's even weirder (cooler??) is that he sang the song for the commercial, which went on to peak at #2 on the Japanese Orikon music charts! How's that for bizarre? At the time in Japan, he was known either as Emmanuel-kun or エマニエル坊や (坊や = little kid).

The name of the song was City Connection, and it goes a little something like this:

Ring ring, 電話が ringing tonight
(ring ring, the phone's ringing tonight)
Dance dance, あの娘（こ）と dancing tonight
(dance dance, dancing with that girl tonight)
City connection, love telephone
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do!

Baby baby baby baby 命掛け (baby baby, my life's on the line)
Papa, mama 僕らを止めないで (papa, mama, please don't stop us)
あの娘（こ）が死ぬほど好きなんだ (I love her more than anything)
今夜は君を離さない (I won't let go of you tonight)

Warning: this song is catchy and may get stuck in your head to the point where you find yourself inadvertently bobbing your head to it hours afterwards! And here's the commercial:

Halloween in Japan

2009-11-05T22:34:00.005+09:00

Well Halloween is now over, and what a wondrous festivity it was this year for me and mine. I sorted out my costume quite a while back, actually, but didn't really sort out where we were going until much later- Halloween afternoon to be precise.

What was I, you ask? Well let's see how well you pay attention:

I've actually written about this guy before:

He is none other than Hokkaido's mirthful ball of excited algae, Marimokkori! Since I brought it up last year, however, I have noticed that the mokkori madness has caught like wildfire all across the nation with local flavors galore. The first of these fellows I ran across was one from Nikko, which is quite well known for it's monkeys... which is in turn why I just had to go there. Next I noticed it up in Sendai, where they had a Date Masamune version which I dubbed Date mokkori. Then this past month when I was down in Ishigaki I saw what seems to be the next level of mokkorism. They have taken the traditional Okinawan Shiisa and mokkorified it to bring you: Shiisa mokkori. Old men shiver at look away as babies run in fear from... Shiisa mokkori.

...ok yeah, they tried to make it as cute as they could, but in the end it's still a lion-dragon thingie with a boner.

So anyway, that was Halloween - more pics, as always, can be found at my flickr page. Now that Halloween is over, of course, this can mean only one thing in Japan: it's Christmas season. Back home there's that nice buffer of Thanksgiving between the two commercial juggernauts that are Halloween and Christmas, but over here we are not afforded such a privilege and are thus subjected to pretty much straight commercialism from last month all the way through Valentine's Day, and probably beyond if I think about it.

Luckily for me, I'm too busy with work to focus on it too much... thank God.

Whales, dolphins.... and tuna!?

2009-10-29T21:47:00.006+09:00

Hi there, me again. So I don't really keep up with South Park all that much anymore, but every now and then I watch when they cover an issue that I enjoy - something about hearing them ridicule both sides of the argument and show that everyone is if not full of shit, at least partially containing shit, or shit-like, substance in some capacity. This week's episode was more of the same, covering Sea Shepherd and 98% of the world's lack to comprehend why Japan wants to hunt whales and dolphins. Yes that's right, there's also dolphin hunting, but from my understanding it's mostly only in a small village called Taiji in Wakayama-ken in a festival that's been going on for quite a while.... and Sea World (watch the new South Park episode here).

Now I'm not going to bother giving my entire opinion on the whole whale hunting thing again, but let's just say that I've had whale meat before and feel that as long as their numbers are kept sustainable, hunt away. I will say that to me this is a different issue than with dolphin hunting, as dolphins are in no way anywhere near being extinct or endangered, so the issue is more one of intelligence and, well let's be honest, cuteness. I'm sure there have been studies to back this up somewhere, but beautiful people have a marked advantage in life, and the dolphin case to me is an extension of this into the animal world. Pigs are really intelligent creatures, and yet we keep dumb chihuahuas as pets and stick them in stupid Hollywood movies while we have 101 tasty ways to get a pig onto your plate and in your belly.

Ok, so now I've given you the background on the whales and dolphins - where does the tuna come in, you say? Well look no further than today's headlines to find that an organization in Europe is in agreement with significant reductions in fishing of the Atlantic bluefin tuna, of which stocks are said to be as low as 15% of their original numbers. This is in response to the EU talks of enacting a ban on tuna fishing within its waters to keep the species going. There was also a ban on fishing of certain other species of tuna in the Atlantic for 2 months of last year. As you may or may not know, Japan is the world's largest consumer of tuna, which is a popular staple for sashimi and sushi. Sushi has gained in popularity worldwide in recent years, but that's nothing... do you know how much tuna Japan consumes? Really? They fish more than 300,000 metric tons every year, and yet still have the rest of the world bringing their tuna to Tsukiji market to sell more of top of that. That's 300,000 METRIC TONS, which means that if you had 30,000 dump trucks that could carry 10 tons of tuna each... then no one else would be able to drive anywhere because that's a lot of frickin' tuna.

So, now to bring this all together. Here we have Japan, which has shown that they really like eating fish and other bounties of the sea, even more than they care about what the rest of the world thinks of their eating habits. On the other hand we have a species of fish that is thought to be all too common wind up being endangered because one country eats 1,000 international space stations worth of it on an annual basis. Will Japan be willing to curtail its hunting to let numbers get back into a sustainable figure, and what will this mean for sushi lovers worldwide? Who will think of the tuna!?

Well the answer is that Japan has already agreed to cut back its tuna fishing for a whole 2 months over a 2 year period, so I'm guessing this is one fish they're willing to play ball on. This latest news may mean even more cuts than the measly 5% cutback the Japanese fishers have agreed to thus far. They agreed that tuna is yummy, and thus it would be ashamed to deprive the world of it for a lifetime by stuffing our faces with it now. Looking at the way things are going though, I'm guessing you're going to see less tuna now, and possibly even higher prices for a while if things get too bad. So you heard it here- be responsible next time you do sushi, order the anago.

Return of the Hachiroku! Toyota's small-body FR Sports Car, the FT-86 Concept

2009-10-27T21:59:00.009+09:00

Let it be known to those that were not aware - I am a total car nerd. And as a total car nerd who lives in Tokyo and can read Japanese, I've been really excited lately to hear that there are a few companies that are bucking the current trend of making bland, economical cars and going balls out - specifically, Toyota and Subaru. I've been busy with work lately and unfortunately haven't been able to make it to this year's Tokyo Motor Show to see this car in person, but rest assured I shall make it before next Wednesday when the show closes. I have, however, been doing some reading - namely this article over at nikkei trendy and the last couple issues of Best Car, a major Japanese car mag that's highlighted the Toyota-Subaru combined effort with some quality information.

Now here I'll focus mainly on what I've heard about the Toyota version, which was confirmed at the TMS to be slated for Fall 2011 sale worldwide: in Japan (development name: 086A), North America (087A) and Europe (088A). The basic idea? A throwback to the old AE86 (the hachi-roku) - a lightweight, relatively inexpensive rear-wheel drive car that's fun to toss around turns. Toyota execs and designers alike are on record as saying that they are more focused on appealing to those who remember the original hachi-roku than making a car for young drivers, and are pricing it "such that the average working man can afford one." And how close have they come to this goal? Well, here's what they've got thus far:

The dimensions are a length of 4160mm (162.5 in.), width of 1760mm (68.75 in.) and height of 1260mm (49.2 in.) making it a full 20mm shorter than the original 86, but its wheelbase of 2570mm (100.4 in.) is a full 170mm more than the original's 2400mm. Also, the extra 135mm of width should make it quite a bit more stable as well. Curb weight will be around 1200kg (2640 lbs.). Some of the top brass are saying they want to make it the same length as the original, so don't be surprised if the production model is 4180mm. The body seen is one of four options being debated, this one designed by the ED2 group in southern France - all designs are said to have the dimensions set to the above specifications. Personally, I think the current design looks to have borrowed a bit from the hybrid concept body they displayed at the TMS two years ago, but this looks much cleaner.

Now as far as the powertrain goes, this project really got its start 2 years ago when Toyota acquired a closer relationship with Subaru, purchasing a 9% share in Subaru's parent company FHI from GM, and then upping their share to 16% last year. The designers were very interested in the lower center of gravity that the boxer engine could provide, and went to work right away once they got tinkering rights. What they have eventually come up with is said to be a significantly improved upon naturally aspirated EJ20-based engine, with direct injection and an idling stop added among other things to help improve both fuel economy and emissions without sacrificing the almighty bottom line that is the dyno output. This engine mated to a 6MT with a classic 3-pedal cockpit layout (no paddle-shifting for the hachi-roku!!) will deliver 200 hp at 7200rpm and 21.0 kgm (152ft-lbs.) of torque over a wide and low range of 2400-4400 rpms to the rear wheels (for the Toyota version). All the tweaks have kept a very respectable estimated 15-16 km/l (35-38 mpg) fuel estimate to go along with the power. This is no slouch by any means, making the the power-to-weight ratio slightly higher than that of the legendary hachi-roku at 1:6 (FT-86) compared to 1:7.15 (AE86).

Now last but not least comes the price tag: up to this point they've been sticking with their rather ambiguous statement of "affordable for the average working man", which originally was thought to mean around 2.0M yen (roughly $20,000 US) in keeping with the original. As development has moved along this number has crept up to 2.5M, with some thinking it might even wind up being more than that when all is said and done. Toyota however, in it's determination to make this an affordable sports car in the spirit of the project, is now apparently considering a base model in the range of 2.3 - 2.5M yen (again roughly $23,000-25,000 USD), with options galore.

The developers are sticking to saying that what you see at the TMS is still a rough idea of what will eventually be on sale, but this concept car is not rough around the edges at all. I have no idea what the other 3 designs they're contemplating are, but speculation is that they are being worked on by Toyota here in Tokyo and the CALTY offices in southern California, and possibly another Italian design factory. I personally have no doubt that this car will be an overwhelming success once released, but Toyota is saying that they are more concerned about making a car that reminds people what fun behind the wheel is supposed to mean than sales figures. To show these guys know how to have fun, they say that they are even drifting these prototypes on the track and have figured out what they believe to be the perfect weight distribution ratio for drifting - which they say in no way should be confused with meaning a 50:50 distribution like the Mazda RX-8. It certainly sounds like they have their shit straight to me!

Now I also have information I shall eventually share about the Subaru end of the project (yes, there are a fair bit of differences), and also some information about the Honda CR-Z hybrid FF-sports car... although really the only reason I would have to share that would be to show how much better the FT-86 is than it. ;P

I'll also definitely be giving an update after hitting up the show myself, if nothing else for the pictures. All pictures here were taken from the Nikkei Trendy article referenced above and can be seen in their original sizes by following the link.

New Joyo Kanji!!

2009-10-21T22:44:00.007+09:00

凄い！

Yesss... every Japanese language nerd's dream come true- more kanji!! Well technically speaking, actually, none of them are new. Rather they are mostly quite common, which is entirely the point. But hey, I guess first I should stop talking (typing?) to myself and let you guys in on what I'm rambling about, right?

So word on the street is that next year they're talking about adjusting the daily use kanji list to 2,131 characters. 5 characters (銑 (SEN, pig iron), 錘 (tsumu, spindle), 匁 (monme, a unit of weight), 勺 (shaku, a unit of capacity), and 脹 (CHOU, swell)) are up for removal, and another 191 are slated to be included. Of those being removed, I would really only consider one (腫, as commonly seen in 腫れる, to become swollen) all that useful.

This would be the first update to the list in almost 30 years, and to be honest I think it's about time. Due largely to the advent of computers and cell phones, it is so much easier to use kanji now - no one knows how to write them, but you don't have to to be able to type them in. (You think people can actually write 鬱病?)

So what's new? Well a lot of stuff is used in place names. Believe it or not, there are quite a few characters that are currently not "general use" that are used in the names of a few cities, prefectures and *ahem* close by countries: 熊 from 熊本 [Kumamoto], 奈 from 神奈川 [Kanagawa] and 奈良 [Nara], 茨 from 茨城 [Ibaragi], 栃 from 栃木 [Tochigi], 阜 from 岐阜 [Gifu], 阪 from 大阪 [Osaka]... even 韓 from 韓国 [Korea]!! These were all on a separate "name characters" list up until now, but I mean seriously? I think Osaka was in my vocab lists 1st semester, Japanese 101. Oh and the word for vocab (語彙)? Until now that didn't make the list as well.

Besides that, some of the stuff on the list are total gimmes - I cannot believe that the words for chopsticks, bath, pillow, rainbow a slew of food words and most of all 俺 (おれ、masculine 'I') is currently not considered "general use".

To be fair, "general use" is really just a guideline though and doesn't necessarily dictate the limits of most people's knowledge. You're supposed to know this list and the name list by the time you graduate high school here, but most kids would already know all the characters on this expansion list as well. Going through them myself I recognized about 2/3rds of them. You can check the list out yourself over at kanjiclinic.com if you want, by the way.

So that being said, I guess the big difference is that a lot of the words that up until now you would see in broken combinations in newspapers will finally be able to be printed properly (完ぺき→完璧, うつ病→鬱病, あいまい→曖昧, etc.). This actually brings up what to me I see as a rather interesting side note - newspapers are written such that anyone with a high school education can read them, and this does not only go for Japan. From what I've heard, actually, US newspapers are written more at like a 9th/10th grade level, if that... not even graduating high school!

More kanji I say, more! It's not going to hurt anything, and hopefully this means these will make their way into a newly revamped JLPT for me to have something to brush up on when I finally get around to taking level 1 again.

Oh and finally a note - the word at the top of this post got snubbed from the list, despite the fact that it is used daily by mixi and keitai users nationwide.

The Great Burger

2009-10-19T23:50:00.008+09:00

This would just so happen to be my submission for the Japan Blog Matsuri, which is rather convenient because I was planning on writing about this place anyway due to its sheer awesomeness.

Ok, I hope you are ready for a treat, because a burger like this does not come along everyday. Now many people may think that burgers are a decisively American food, but then many people thought that Britney Spears deserved a Grammy Award, and you'll never convince me of that one. Many people also tend to think of food in Japan as generally light faire, but they wouldn't totally be right on this point either. While the streets do flow with more tuna than anywhere else in the world, Tokyo especially is great for international cuisine of all kinds - including burgers, which brings us to today's topic. The Great Burger.

I originally stumbled quite haphazardly across this gem looking online for a good burger place one day. I've been to Kua'aina Burger, Sasebo Burger and a slew of others, but this one in my opinion really does top them all and should rightly be the #1 meaty solace of any guy living in or near Tokyo that occasionally needs a manly serving of beef to get the blood pumping. If you're going to go out of your way to get a burger in Tokyo, settle for nothing less!

So shall we start with the burger then? My biggest gripe with Sasebo Burger is that while they are quite tasty, the burger itself is rather Japan-sized. Great Burger has no such problems with a nicely sized patty, seasoned to perfection. Also, with 20 different burgers, including a gorgonzola burger and both double and triple burgers as well as 10 additional optional toppings, they are sure to sate the hunger of even the most ravenous of appetites. Just remember - if you eat a triple burger then you have to live with yourself after wards. Of course size is no substitute for taste, and this burger holds no punches in that category either. I've been to Ray's Hell Burger in DC (ok, technically across the river in Arlington), which was visited by Obama a few months back and is arguably the best burger at least in the DC area, and this is easily as good as their burgers. Pictured to the right is the bacon double cheeseburger without relish, mustard and mayonnaise of the condiments they put on the burger as standard. Call me a purist, but I prefer ketchup (or bbq sauce) on my burgers. They all come with steak fries, but the appetizer menu is rather extensive. And while they don't leave you a bottle, there are plenty of packets of ketchup available at each table - more points in the plus column!! (ps: I have been to many places which sacrilegiously serve fries with 1 measly packet of ketchup, which everyone knows is never enough)

I must say though that besides simply having a classic burger, another thing that makes this place great to me is the shakes. Now these are real milkshakes, blended from ice cream with real fresh ingredients added - my girlfriend picked up a chocolate macadamia shake, and there were quite a few large chunks of actual nuts in the shake. I myself rather enjoy the chocolate banana shake. If beer's more your thing, and being that meat is involved I wouldn't blame you if it is, they have close to 30 different beers in stock as well, ranging from one of my sleeper Japanese favorites, Coedo, to Negra Modelo and Pilsner Urquell.

How do I get there, you ask? Well it's closest to Harajuku or Jingumae stations, but Shibuya is walkable, too. It's situated off of Cat Street, sort of behind the Audi and Uniqlo: UT stores, so while you're there you might as well wander around to check out some of the boutiques and cafes around that define the area. Like most places on Cat Street, the store itself is rather small, so be prepared for a crowd if you show up around lunch time.

Restaurant details:
Address - Tokyo-to, Shibuya-ku, Jingumae 6-12-7 J-Cube A, 1F
Phone No. - 03-3406-1215
Hours - 11:30 - 23:00

Tokyo's Plastic Food

2009-10-18T20:27:00.010+09:00

Not that this is particularly specific to Tokyo, but that was the title of a video over at the BBC on the topic. Thinking back to when I first got here I guess it was rather amusing at first, but of course this is just one of those things that loses its shock value after a while and becomes just another mundane detail of life lost in the noise. Oh and by the way, they were originally all made of wax, but production was mostly changed over to resins such as plastic due to the models getting soft when left out in the sun. Apparently some of the more difficult things to model are still made of wax.

As the video points out, a lot of effort goes into making food samples for restaurants here in Japan: they first make molds from the actual food itself, then pour resin into it, and finally hand paint it to look delicious. Each one is hand made to order with everything from steaks and beer to soup and pasta available, all painstakingly crafted to whet your appetite.

The origins of this industry are a tad iffy, but a few possibilities place the first of these food samples (食品サンプル), as they're known in Japanese, as somewhere between 1917 and 1932, possibly first offered at either the Shirokiya department store or by the Shimadzu Corporation, which does have some history with chemicals.

I think that this is definitely one of those little things that does have merit, especially for those that may not be able to read the menu, like tourists. Of course there wouldn't be a market for this if it was only for foreigners - the thought behind these food samples is that a simple menu with words doesn't fully convey what the meal will look like, so this helps to draw customers in. I also find that many menus here tend to have a lot more pictures as well, which I also think is a good thing.

Will you ever see anything like this anytime soon at a restaurant near you? Unfortunately, unless you're living in Japan I think it's doubtful. There is an entire multi-billion yen industry behind food samples, but with each one being hand crafted, their reach is limited almost exclusively to Japan with some getting out into other parts of Asia, such as China.

Fortunately though, for those interested in learning more about what goes into the making of this everyday art form, you can visit an area with plenty of sample producing shops in the city of Gujo in Gifu Prefecture, some of which have hands on tours that will let you try your hand at making some. Two such factories are Sample Village Iwazaki and Sample Kobo. (links are Japanese only!) Also, if you are in the Tokyo area then you can find a whole bunch of food artisans populating an area between Asakusa and Ueno known as Kappabashi.

And finally, here's a video of someone making a plastic piece of shrimp tempura.

Japan's 1st Red Bull Cart Race

2009-10-14T23:38:00.012+09:00

It was a lovely day in Odaiba for a rather odd event, the existence of which I was made privy to due to a rather bizarre promotional campaign I told you about a while back. This was Japan's 1st Red Bull Cart Race, and both the spectators and participants warmed up to it rather pleasantly, I must say. It was covered over at the BBC as well, with a nice little video... I saw the aftermath of the wreck, but their video was way better than the view I had!

As is standard for this kind of event, the entries had their share of color, and you had every opportunity to talk to just about all of the teams before and after they ran. There were teams from all over the country and covering all kinds of themes, from environmental to tiger woods and ninjas to fish in a bath tub and takoyaki. Awesome, randomness at its best!

Since I took the change to talk to a few of the team participants, I'll give you a little more detail on those teams along with some pictures. First, we have the takoyaki team from out in Mie. They were kind enough to let us climb into their cart for some photo ops, and told us that their cart took them 3-4 months to construct in total. They're looking forward to next year.
Next we have this guy - any guess what that rear wheel is from? The rear wheel and front suspension were both taken from a Ferrari... I hope they didn't try to use those fliers I saw in Cat Street.
There were plenty of other bizarre contenders - the guy posted at the top of the page was actually the driver of the first cart to run, and yes he wore that while racing! All the participants were very open, friendly and willing to chat about their projects as long as you were, which is pleasant in what can sometimes feel like a cold and heartless city. Here are some more pictures, and as always the rest can be found on the flickr page.

Starting the event off right.

I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to be... not Ultraman, the "Safety Unzenger"?

The flower power tank, mid race.

Ishigaki: Your Next Vacation Destination

2009-10-13T22:56:00.016+09:00

Ok, been rather busy lately, as you may have noted by my absence from any and all things blog-related as of late. On the plus side, the less I'm writing here the more I'm finding new and interesting things to write about! So without any further ado, allow me to present the topic of this entry: a little island I recently had the pleasure of visiting called Ishigaki. If you live in Japan, I highly recommend that you make this your next vacation destination!!

For those of you not in the know, you are in for an absolute treat. Before I get into the nitty gritty, just take a look at the picture above - look at that water! You can see all the way to the bottom in what is some of the clearest water you will find anywhere on the planet. The color that is there is mostly a pale blue to green, colored largely in part by the copious amounts of corals that abound, sometimes mere inches from the surface. Seriously- this was the only place I've ever been where you could see tropical fish swimming around your feet by merely wading in a few meters from the beach! Tiny little bright blue fishies (and one big gray guy they kept nibbling at my back), one big jump from the shore on the northern beach of Ishigaki.

Ok, so now that I have your attention, a little background. Ishigaki is the highest populated island in the Yaeyama island chain, the most southern and western cluster of islands in Okinawa (and Japan, for that matter). Okinawa itself is closer geographically to Taiwan than it is to Tokyo, and Ishigaki is another hour's plane ride from the main island of Okinawa. Here's a nice little travel guide of the area I found.

So once you get down there, what is there to do you ask? Well besides the clear waters that are perfect for diving and full of all kinds of coral everywhere and manta rays if you go to the right part, there is a culture that is about as far removed psychologically from Tokyo as it is spatially. These guys are laid back, and they can cook to boot. Champuru is probably the most famous Okinawan cuisine, and it's great down here whether you go with the goya (see right) or tofu variety. To drink, you either have your choice of Orion beer or Awamori, Okinawa's version of Shochu. For those interested, I've looked up a rather decent tofu champuru recipe which I will more than willingly translate and share with anyone.

So that's all rather common knowledge for anyone who knows anything about Okinawa, but what isn't that common knowledge is that Ishigaki is also home to a huge number of Black Angus cattle and a great local beer, named rather simply but aptly Ishigaki Beer. Yes they take orders online, and I highly encourage you to flood their inbox with requests for their Weitzen, modeled proudly by yours truly on the left. I can think of no better way to try it out than to head out to a steak house in the sticks run by a farm and use it to wash down some succulent beefy bits of... beef. It's still what's for dinner. So now you have your choice between goya and steak, Orion and Weitzen, check.

What about the sights? Well personally I liked the caverns there, but more than that are the other islands that come with the package, some as close as a 10 minute ferry ride away. Yaeyama basically just means "8 islands", so take your pick and hop on the boat. I saw two others, Iriomote and Taketomi. For info on the other islands, check the guide referenced above.

First off for me was Iriomote, home to 75% of Japan's mangroves. This place is almost totally jungle and totally amazing, wildlife and everything. There are also some great waterfalls to go along with the crazy trees and vibrant wildlife - they are also known for their cats, the yamaneko, and have some great lizards and butterflies around. An all day jungle tour here with some optional diving is a great way to go. Here we also stopped off on Barras island, but really calling it an island is generous. It's basically a mound of coral that is barely visible at high tide, but at low tide juts out high enough for you to "land" there as a jumping point for diving or snorkeling.

Next on the agenda was Taketomi, the butterfly island. At only a 10 minute ride from Ishigaki port, you'd be stupid not to check this place out for at least an afternoon. If you rent a bike, you can make your way around the entire island in about 3 hours, which basically consists of a tiny village with a population of 350 residents or so, probably 50 times as many butterflies, and beaches. Some of the beaches have coral sand shaped like little stars, and the village itself has sweet architecture which is nothing like you'll see anywhere at least in mainland Japan. This is a great place to spend a totally relaxing afternoon on the beach and just zone out.

So plenty to see, and because Japan is goofy like that you can spend a week seeing all this for about the same price as you would pay to rent a car and drive from Tokyo to Hiroshima with a few stops along the way... I did the math. Next time you wonder why so many Japanese people travel more abroad then they do within their own borders, ponder on that one for a few.

Here are a few other choice photos I took in my travels, with the full album available on my flickr account.

View from Sunset Beach - NW part of Ishigaki

Shisa statue on Taketomi island

Taking a drink at Pinay Sara (sp?) falls, Iriomote island

A cow put to manual labor, pulling suigyuu duty. These are most famous off of Iriomote, but this picture was taken on Taketomi.

Another shisa, just because they're that cool.

A Change of Diet

2009-09-02T16:32:00.007+09:00

So the big news out here as of late is the national elections, which make it appear as if I will shortly be seeing my 5th Prime Minister since stepping foot in Japan. This time around it's associated with a potentially huge paradigm shift politically, but I won't even begin to act like I'm highly versed in Japanese politics. Just know that the swing was huge - the ruling party coalition of the LDP/New Komeito went from 300 and 30 seats in the Japanese Diet respectively to 119 and 21. The JDP in the meantime went from 115 seats up to 308, given it a straight out majority even without the others in its coalition. Other, more informed opinions on the reprucussions can be found here, and if you'd like to know what the new leader, Yukio Hatoyama, himself has to say then check out his NYT Op-ed here. Also, if you like numbers and statistics, there's some that have pointed to this happening for the past 15 years or so according to this over at 538, although Japanese politics is definitely not Nate Silver's bag (baby).

I also find that I must note a rather interesting observation I heard from someone I know, and that is the slight resemblence of Hatoyama (or "pigeon mountain", if you prefer) to a certain Christopher Walken... I'll let you be the judge.

Battling cultures in the world of tech support

2009-08-31T15:00:00.002+09:00

I ran into a rather interesting snag this past week that was, at least to me, most unexpected.

So my girlfriend's computer has been giving her an odd error involving memory/space allocation or some such nonsense, which I for the life of me could not fix. This along with some less than ideal partitioning and some other things made me decide it'd be easier to just start from scratch with a fresh install. She doesn't have a recovery disk or anything, so I used a fresh copy of English Windows XP.

Now in what I would consider normal circumstances, you can go to the homepage of most laptop manufacturers and download any drivers you might need, or at least find out which drivers to look for and find them elsewhere. A visit to the Sharp Japan homepage, however, gives no such information.

Furthermore, clicking on the "support" button is rather telling I think in the difference in mentalities between Japanese service and American service. They give you 4 options: 1) I don't know how to use my computer, 2) I'd like to send my computer in for service, 3) I'd like you to setup my computer for me, and 4) I want to upgrade my computer. Further clicking shows that you can call their call center for the first year for free advice (pay after that), or bring it in and pay them to look at it. In the US, they couldn't be happier to have you try and fight with it yourself, as it'll save them time and effort.

So not only can I not find driver or specific hardware information, there is nowhere on the website that I can find an option to simply ask them for such information, or even advice without paying. Not even a simple email. I went through their FAQ on re-installation, and the only thing they mention on hardware drivers is to use their reinstall disk.

Just for a bit of balance, I went to the Dell support page to check, and sure enough "drivers and downloads" was the first option on the list. In my time here, it seems to me that either people are less willing to try to take on a task themselves or maybe just merely don't have the time to, and are thus much more dependent upon the service industries.

This could be a chicken/egg argument as I'm not sure which is the cause and which is the result and, albeit to a lesser extent, this exists at home as well, but this is far from an isolated case. You get looks of amazement telling most people out here that you've changed not only your own oil, but also your own brakes and so on. Now granted, in this case there is also the problem of having the space to work on your own car, but the fact that most people wouldn't even consider trying to pick up a wrench themselves is beyond me. I've heard stories from a particular friend married to a Japanese man who has wound up looking up how to fix her toilet herself when the husband didn't know where to begin. TV's broken? Well it's too hard to even think about fixing, better just buy a new one.

I'm sure that at least to some extent most of these are cases where the money spent for these services is for the saved time it allows, but there's also that element of Eastern willful interdependence vs. Western individualistic mistrust. Japanese companies further fuel this by basically saying "that's really complicated, you wouldn't understand. Just leave it to me."

Nah, I think I'd still rather figure it out myself and learn something in the process.

Unexpected lessons from life in Japan

2009-08-29T12:31:00.007+09:00

Note: Edited Oct. 20 to officially add #10.

So having spent 4 of the last 10 years of my life abroad now, it's interesting to look back and see some of the less obvious things that I've learned in my time in Japan and roaming around. I'm sure there's plenty more I'm not thinking of, this is just off the top of my head.

1. What a real cockroach looks like.
By the time I first stepped foot in Japan I already knew a bit of the language, but the first new word I learned was 'gokiburi', or cockroach. Japanese roaches can get frickin' huge, and unless you have lived either Japan, Texas or somewhere south of the border or tropical, then I doubt you really know what I'm talking about here. Besides that though, the greater point here is that there is a whole world of disgusting and scary bugs out there that I was never aware of until coming here - 2" cockroaches, poisonous centipedes, giant moths and most recently swarms of little gnat-like flies that simply will not go away... I'll get back to that one later. To be fair though, there are cool bugs too like kabutomushi and praying mantises, which if you're lucky will feast on unassuming cockroaches.

2. Whale isn't so hot, but horse meat is actually pretty good.
If you live somewhere halfway across the globe, you're more than likely going to have to eat the local food or else pay out the ass to maintain your old eating habits. Luckily in Japan this isn't too bad since most of the food is excellent. This also includes being a bit adventurous sometimes, and I've taken some rather wild culinary adventures which have included whale meat, fugu, raw horse, fish scrotums, python-flavored ice cream, several tropical fruits I never even knew existed... and an overnight stay in a Bangkok hospital, but we won't talk about that one. The view was nice, at least. At the top of my list for "exotic" (Japan doesn't really feel so exotic after a while, thus the quotes) foods, I would say do try raw horse (basashi), fugu and eel (anago if they have it, unagi if they don't), stay away from fish scrotums (shirako), and only eat whale or sea urchin (uni) if you haven't tried it and want to, just once for the experience.

3. Most sauces and dressings are really simple to make.
I cook way more since coming to Japan - mostly because it's cheaper and healthier. I do make local stuff as well, but sometimes you just want a little taste of home. The only problem is that a lot of times the sauces and dressings you're used to back home are prohibitively expensive, if you can find them at all. Luckily, in times like this there is the interweb, with a little place called recipes.com. Can't find bbq sauce? No problem - do you have ketchup, sugar and red wine? Ranch dressing? Well that's just mayo, sour cream, garlic, onion and few other spices. I've figured out how to make a whole bunch of things from scratch out of necessity, and had plenty of fun along the way.

4. 3USD/gallon for gas is pretty damn cheap.
Growing up in the US, it's easy to become disillusioned about fuel prices, and really the cost of driving overall. You don't think about it, but we have government subsidies to thank for artificially lower gas prices than the rest of the civilized world as well as a mostly toll-free national highway system. Out here they'll charge you about as much for a liter as you would get a gallon in the US for, and there is not one section of highway that doesn't charge a toll. Luckily there's an easy way to get around the whole thing here - trains. You guys should look into those. :P

5. Toilet paper and toilets that have seats and flush are a luxury.
Wow- you would not believe the spectrum of toiletry you find in Asia! Starting off in Japan is actually pretty tame, although you do get to run the entire bathroom gauntlet from its traditional squatters (supposedly crouching helps things come out, but I'm not going to find out) to talking washlets that can make artificial flushing noises so no one hears you fart if you're concerned about that kind of thing. Once you get used to that go out to a place like Thailand, where I looked for toilet paper and instead saw a bucket of water with a small cup inside to wash myself with. Or China, where a friend of mine not only had to squat, but did so right next to other guys with no walls between them. Lovely stuff.

6. The whole world does not share my affection for cheese, and Chicken Kung Pao is not real Chinese food
It was almost traumatic the first time I went to a Japanese supermarket and looked for the cheese section. It was a selection of two types: sliced and grated. Simply another one of those products that isn't used in cooking as much as back home, so you don't find it as much (see #3 above). Also though, going to restaurants you'll find that things aren't served the same as you're used to. You may find a "hamburger steak", and when they bring you a side of fries you may get a single packet of ketchup when you expected them to just leave the bottle. Or even worse, they may just give you a dollup of mayonnaise! If you go to a Chinese restaurant, don't bother looking for General Tso's Chicken or Chicken Kung Pao, but say hello to gyoza and shumai. There's also Japanese interpretations of Italian, Thai, Indian and just about any other food you can think of which will more than likely be different than what you're used to. This can be doubly true if it's the Japanese interpretation of your own country's food - do not go to a Japanese Denny's as you will be most disappointed.

7. Never get an apartment on the 1st floor.
This may be more true here than back home, but God living on the 1st floor has more drawbacks than I could ever imagine! When you search for an apartment here, they list "2nd floor and above only" as a possible search criterion, and I now know why. I thought it was just a girl thing - not wanting neighborhood pervs stealing their panties and peering in to see them change and all (anyone who knows me knows that I have no problem with being seen less than fully dressed). But oh no, it doesn't stop there. First, it was the additional moisture, which gives way to mold. I have had mold on my floors, in the bathroom, on my clothes... on my couch! And then there's the bugs... they stay close to the ground, and we get them all. Never again, never again.

8. Platypodes lactate but don't have nipples, and other fun facts.
Ok, so this one doesn't actually directly relate to the point that I wanted to make per se, but it is an interesting and random fact that I looked up at work one day so I'm going to let it ride. I find out all sorts of interesting tidbits of useful uselessness for work looking stuff up on wikipedia among other sources. Some recent findings are where Toyota got the name 'corolla' from (it's actually the name for the petals of a flower) and that Princess Di was actually cursed by ancient Japanese superstitions. Sometimes it's more interesting than other times, and this is something that probably would've happened no matter where I work, but I'm guessing my job being here has me looking up different things than you would back home.

9. Lorries, boots and general dodginess.
An interesting thing happens when all of a sudden English is the common language between you and people from all over the world - you learn all sorts of quirky localisms from all 4 corners of the globe. This goes doubly true when you are asked at work to "fix" your own Americanisms to match a text to what someone in the UK (or Kenya, apparently) expects to see. Trucks suddenly become lorries, and Sarah Palin goes from being a dangerously uninformed extremist to merely being a wanker. This knowledge becomes doubly useful when on a night on the town with your new neighbor from New Zealand or Egypt, or somewhere else you're not likely to have ever actually been yourself (if you have then good for you). Now why a globe has four corners I have not a clue, but you will be sure that I shall be looking it up later per #8.

10. All the Stuff I've learned about Brazil. (added Oct. 20)
The last thing you expect coming to a country is learning about elsewhere in the world, but the truth of the matter is that you being fellow foreigners with others sometimes means you'll make bonds with a rather international crew. Since coming to Japan I have friends in Germany, Sweden, Denmark, England, Switzerland, Australia, Brazil, Korea... I could go on. I started capoeira out here too, which means I could find a place to stay in Brazil, no problem.

That's about all I have for now - if you have any additions of your own, feel free to comment.

Shinkansen vs. HSR in the US - background

2009-08-25T12:34:00.011+09:00

I've been rather busy lately, but now that I have a little free time I'd like to take the opportunity to comment on an issue that I find interesting - the recent talk I've seen about establishing high-speed rail in the US, and more often than not the reasons it won't work. You of course see people pointing to examples in Europe, Japan, even China and Korea, but people discount these examples of integrated public transportation systems that work by saying that there's no way it'd work with the sprawl of the US. There's a small nugget of truth nestled in that pile of bullshit - let me give you a little background on the conversation before going through what I've ascertained.

The Discussion

First off, the detractors - freakonomics has a post commenting on a rather negative assessment on the economics of HSR in the US by another economist over at the Times, Edward Glaeser of the economix blog. The freakonomics post references a certain Randal O'Toole critique from the CATO institute, who recently commented that NYC would be better by replacing their subway with busses, because that would make driving in the worst traffic in the country just that much more pleasant don't you know. The economix post talks about a hypothetical, stand-alone Dallas-Houston HSR line, which is pretty much doomed for failure from the beginning... at least from an economic standpoint.

On the other end of the spectrum you have the train geeks and those pushing for updates to the transportation system, such as the proposed line in California and the Midwest connector centering around Chicago, the latter of which has some good direct response to a few arguments against rail. I've also seen reference to other lines which are prospering despite all those who said it was foolish to try building them.

Background on Japanese Rail

Also just to give you a little idea of where I'm coming from, here's where Japan stands on things. The shinkansen, Japan's HSR system, has been around since 1964 and has transported more passengers (over 6 billion) in its lifetime than any other HSR system in the world. This covers 2,459 km (1,528 mi.) of track servicing most of the greater cities from Kyushu to Tohoku - once the Kyushu extensions are completed next year, you'll be able to go all the way from Kagoshima at the southern tip of Kyushu to Aomori at the top of the Tohoku area, with further extension into Hokkaido up to Sapporo planned. The busiest line is the Tokaido line between Tokyo and Osaka, which carries 151 million passengers a year, runs 10 trains per hour in either direction with 16 cars each, and goes up to 270km/h (168mph). Other trains see speeds up to 300km/h, with new trains to start service soon to further up that to 320km/h. According to numbers from 2007, the shink was more competitive than other modes of transportation for trips between 100 and 500 mi., holding 66% of the share of trips between 313 and 460 mi. (21% and 11% for air and cars respectively over the same distance). (source)

This of course only builds upon Japan's already expansive local rail systems, which permeate the entire country. While they do have their problems, the trains, when combined with busses, make owning a car a total luxury for most anyone living at least in the greater Tokyo area, including much of Chiba, Kanagawa (including Yokohama and Kawasaki) and Saitama prefectures, which in total account for 35 million people or roughly 27% of the current national population. Add in The Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto metropolitan area with its 18.6 million population and you're up to over 40% of the country in these two major centers alone. The entire nation's population has gradually relocated as development has gradually centered around this rail system, making full use of the investments.

The Effects

There are of course going to be the obvious energy efficiency and air pollution effects. It also lowers use of oil of which is all imported in Japan due to lack of resources, and makes it run on electricity, which can be run by local resources. A good portion of Japan's power is thermally produced using fossil fuels, but it also has a lot of hydroelectric power and is one of the biggest users of nuclear power in the world.

Shinkansen and regular rail line development have totally rearranged the Japanese economy and lifestyle. Besides just connecting locations and making it easier to get around, bigger stations are bustling economic centers, with department stores, shops and just about anything you can think of. As mentioned before, you'll notice that real estate along rail lines is at a premium since everyone wants to be in an accessable location. New stations, whether local lines or shink lines, can totally revitalize local economies.

To take myself as an example, a bicycle, trains and busses get me pretty much anywhere I could possibly want to go on a daily basis, and I live about 30-minutes by train from anywhere that would be considered "downtown". I have about a 13-minute walk to the closest station, which is considered far by Tokyo standards.

The Costs

Certainly not cheap. Initial costs of the Tokaido line was 380 billion yen back in 1959 (1.055 billion USD, equivalent to 7.71 billion in modern terms). Due to it's great success, however, the loans were repaid by 1971, and it has been highly profitable ever since. The budget back in 2007 for new lines was 263.7 billion yen (~2.2B USD), shared between the national and local governments. The latest proposal is for maglev upgrades between Tokyo and Osaka at $82.5 billion with a big ol' "B" in USD, which while it would be cool, I'm still not totally convinced are necessary given Japan's already great transportation system.

Other Factors

Some factors make construction more expensive in Japan than they would be pretty much anywhere else, but 70% of this is civic engineering costs needed for all the tunnels (2/3rds of the country is mountainous), bridges and strengthening to account for the effects of earthquakes and heavy rain. Another caveat to keep in mind when applying Japanese rail figures to international debates is that there is next to no demand for freight trains in Japan due to it being surrounded by sea and having most all major centers on the coastlines. Sea freight dominates long distances, and trucks pick up the local slack. (source)

Next time I'll talk more about what I think the problems are with the arguments against HSR.

Fun with ALC

2009-07-17T18:46:00.004+09:00

I spend a fair amount of time digging through dictionaries and resource materials with work and other things, and one of my favorite tools online has got to be ALC. It's just your ordinary Japanese-English dictionary, but they have slang in there too and a great variety of alternative ways to say things... sometimes too much, actually. These variations can be dangerous for someone just starting out learning Japanese (the first entries for 格好いい, which would basically mean 'cool', are "cool beans", "off the hook", and "on point"- cool beans!! Flashback to 5th grade...), but if you're working with a good base of knowledge and backing up use of ALC with other sources, like Japanese-Japanese dictionaries and more traditional sources, then it's quick and awesome.

Anyway, a side effect of this variation is that I sometimes run across some rather bizarre example sentences, some of which I'll share now.

Searching for 凝視する I came up with the following entry:

同じ時期、車の通行の激しい道路でインコを地上高く投げ、落下して地面に叩きつけられたうえ、車に轢かれるインコを凝視するAkiの姿も目撃されている。
There was another incident around that time where she was seen throwing a parakeet high into the air at a busy road, and staring at the bird as it fell and was run over by cars.

I don't know who this Aki person is, but apparently she throws dead birds into oncoming traffic, sweet.

Or this one was particularly good, under the entry for 考えられがち:

「ホモ（ホモセクシュアリティ）」とイコールと考えられがちであるが、オカマはもっと広い意味で使用される。
People often tend to think of this word as having the same meaning as "homo (homosexuality)", but "okama" is used in a much wider sense.

This is actually quite true - "okama" has more range than just covering your garden variety gay guy, and is probably closer to meaning a cross-dresser. I really wasn't expecting that looking up a phrase that basically means "is often thought of as", but yeah thanks for the info.

Of course next, I just had to search for the term "okama" itself:

またこのオカマにくっついて遊んでいる女性を釜の底に付くことから「おこげ」と呼ぶ。
Women who go out together with "okama" are said to "stick to the bottom of the 'kama'" and so are referred to as "okoge", or the "scorched rice" found at the bottom of the pan.

Wow, and there you have it... learn something new every day! Lesson of the day: "okoge" means faghag in Japanese, nice!

1Q84, chapter 1

2009-07-16T22:51:00.008+09:00

If you don't want to know what the book is about, read no further.

So the linguistic nerd in me is looking for an outlet to make studying fun again. Apparently translating stuff all day for a living isn't good enough, so I've decided to do one paragraph from each chapter of 1Q84 as I read along just to give people a taste of what they otherwise couldn't read without picking up the Japanese original. I'll give the original, then the translation, then some thoughts on the chapter itself.

見かけにだまされないように。現実というのは常に一つきりです。

青豆は大きく息を吸い込み、大きく息をはいた。そして『ビリー・ジーン』のメロディーを耳で追いながら鉄柵を乗り越えた。ミニスカートが腰のあたりまでまくれあがった。かまうものか、と彼女は思った。見たければ勝手に見ればいい。スカートの中の何を見たところで、私という人間が見通せるわけではないのだ。そしてほっそくとした美しい両脚は、青豆が自分の身体の中で一番誇らしく思っている部分だった。

Translation:

Don't be fooled by outward appearances. There's always only one reality.

Aomame inhaled deeply and then exhaled. She then climbed over the railing while continuing to chase the melody of Billy Jean with her ears. Her mini skirt rolled up around her hips. "Who cares!" she thought. If they want to look, let them look. It's not like they're going to see what kind of person I am just from seeing under my skirt. Besides, her firm, alluring legs were the part of Aomame's body that she was most proud of.

Well it's a little harder to capture the art of an author's work than I was thinking, but that's basically the gist of things.

The book opens to the first of 2 main characters, Aomame. She's supposed to be a stunning beauty that doesn't try to stand out, but with an odd name like that she always gets teased (I've never heard that name, and it sounds like edamame, the green beans everyone traditionally snacks on with beer).

As with many novels, we find our subject in a very normal situation, with a twist. This time around, our girl Aomame is trapped in an endless traffic jam on the Shutoko, the Tokyo expressway, in a taxi with an abnormally good sound system. The music evokes memories she has no earthly reason to remember, then upon the suggestion of her knowledgeable driver decides to hop out and take an emergency ladder down to ground level and hop a train so she can make her meeting on time (the Shutoko is elevated).

I think that first sentence above is going to have something to do with the theme of the book - there's always only one reality. I liked how Murakami sneaks an MJ reference in there too... almost too precognizant with his timing on that one. Then again it is supposed to be 1984, so I'm sure Billy Jean was playing all over the place.

And there you have it - the highly abridged summary of chapter 1 of Haruki Murakami's 1Q84.

For an introduction to the book, go here. Stay tuned for more.

Uniqlo: Japan meets the Gap

2009-07-16T21:43:00.009+09:00

In Japan there's this store that everyone goes to, but most people don't readily admit or talk about. Well, at least that's how most Japanese people see it to the best of my knowledge, but there are plenty of foreigners that are just nuts about the place and can't rave about it enough... I myself wouldn't go quite that far. This store has a name, and its name is Uniqlo.

Uniqlo is sort of like the Japanese version of the Gap - or maybe what the Gap should be. Their prices are cheap and they'd like to think they have style, but most people just go there for plain items they wear layered under stuff that can blend in with whatever they're wearing. Uniqlo's strengths are its affordable prices and comfort, which in trying economic times such as these are a great business platform. While Toyota is posting its first annual numbers in the red ever, the owner of Uniqlo has just this year become the richest man in Japan at a net worth of $6.1B USD, surpassing the former top Hiroshi Yamauchi of Nintendo fame. In fact, Tadashi Yanai hasn't ruled out trying a buyout of the Gap to catapult his company's ambitions for going global and hitting the US market fullscale. In actuality, the economic downturn is probably helping Uniqlo's numbers since these are about the only times that no-name and cheaper business models can take off in Japan - as an example, the used book store Book-Off made used books popular around the time of the bubble collapse.

Anyway, I recently stopped by Uniqlo as I was running embarrassingly low on underwear that didn't have holes in them, and while wearing Japanese pants for me is normally akin to a Chris Farley "fat guy in a little coat" session due to 15+ years of soccer and capoeira, Uniqlo is rather well known for comfortable undies and fitting us furriners. So I decide to give them a shot.

So I went out to the newly opened Shinjuku store (pictured above) and got my shop on. While I was there I stopped in the UT section, which is Uniqlo's attempt at fashion in "designer t-shirts", if such a diametrically opposed juxtaposition of terms is allowed (Armani Exchange would like to think so). They had some interesting candidates, but none were interesting enough for me to walk away with. Top candidate is pictured at right, courtesy of the UT homepage.

I must say though, they have put a little effort into things, including buying up rights to put out some random stuff that appeals to foreigners. One great example is Warner Brothers products, which does include Looney Tunes, but also includes the Goonies (!!) and Batman... most Japanese people don't even know about the Goonies!

Japan is absolutely littered with Uniqlo stores, but if you're not in Japan and want to see one, you only chances will be if you live close to New York or LA... or you could just wait for Tada-chan to buy out Gap or some other sucker.

Oh and to anyone wondering, the boxers were still just a tad snug, but I'm sure they'd be fine for most... you might still need to go up a size from what you're used to.

[Edited for embarrasing grammatical errors... my brethren in the "I judge you when you use bad grammar" Facebook group would be ashamed. :'(]

Tokyo erections

2009-07-12T15:05:00.004+09:00

Really, I don't like morning people.

I'm not sure what kind of noise ordinance laws there are in Japan, but I am frequently awakened from my slumber on weekends by overzealous go-getters, looking to seize the day before I would argue it should even begin. No, the yaki-imo guy is not trying to make a comeback, but as I have alluded to in the past he certainly is not the only one in Japan that finds it acceptable to roll around in a little truck with a big microphone.

No, this time around it is election season, and the propaganda trucks are out in full force. By propaganda trucks, I am simply referring to the campaign trail as seen in the 1950's of America and Back to the Future. Today is the big day for the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly elections, so hopefully from here on out I will be able to sleep past 9am - these guys have been rolling by my place as early as 8:30 am almost daily for about the past week or two, and I for one am glad that it is all coming to a close. Incidentally, this will be the first time that my girlfriend has voted. The vast majority of Japanese that I know have little to no interest in politics, and that goes double for young people.

So why are Japanese political campaigns stuck in the '50's, you ask? Well there's some stupid law that says that they can't have advertisements on tv, so they have to resort to posters littered everywhere, enough pamphlets and handouts to overfill my mailbox was past the brim, and... little trucks with big microphones, what the hell.

You'd think it would irritate people, but then Japanese are so used to people yelling in their daily lives that I'm sure they just ignore with the rest as it's phased out into white noise in the deep abscesses of their minds. Whether it's the army of guys passing out fliers and trying to talk you into coming to his store in front of the station, or the people standing in the streets yelling outside stores about the "special sale" they have every single week, or the shop clerks constantly yelling 'irrasshaimase' as they walk through stores for 30 years, it must just be second nature to them to ignore some yakiimo schmo or Ichiro Blow politician in their noise truck.

Oh and for those that don't know, the Communist Party is alive and well in Japan with 13 representatives (of 125 total) already in the local assembly - I've seen posters around all over the place, and one of the 3 candidates for the district in which I reside is a pinko commie. Doesn't he look menacing folks? I'm sure he'd chew a baby's head off and spit it out like a piece of overchewed gum... or at least talk it to death.

1Q84

2009-07-01T22:58:00.005+09:00

I've picked up a copy of Haruki Murakami's newest novel, 1Q84. There was quite a buzz when this book came out a little over a month ago (5/29), despite the fact that the author has made it a point not to divulge much information about the book. The cover itself has no synopsis or teaser on the back or inside cover. He has told people that many wished they could've read one of his more famous previous works, Kafka on the Shore, without knowing what it was about, and thus is giving readers that opportunity this time around. This makes it sound like there might be nice twist in there somewhere, but as the first of the 2 volumes already released is 500 pages and the story doesn't end in the 2nd volume, it might take me a while to get to it!

Besides all the hype surrounding this book, what caught my attention was the title, obviously referring to the classic work of George Orwell, 1984. In Japanese 'Q' is the pronunciation of '9', and a friend of mine who marathoned the book (1,000 pages in a weekend!!) tells me that he does indeed refer to the Orwell book a few times. In respect of the author's request I haven't looked up any real details, except I did see a one-sentence description on the wiki page:

1Q84 is described as a "complex and surreal narrative" which "shifts back and forth between tales of two characters, a man and a woman, who are searching for each other." The themes consist of murder, history, cult religion, violence, family ties and love.

As this book isn't slated for translation into English anytime soon I figure it wouldn't be too bad to share. Also since this keeps most everyone that would be reading this from picking it up, I'm considering giving away the story here as I go through the book... assuming it's good enough for me to get through.

By the way, for any of those that do read Japanese I highly recommend the works of a certain Kotaro Isaka　(Japanese only). Unfortunately I don't believe any of his work has been translated up to this point, but as a few of his books have been made into movies already one can hope, right?!?

Chapter summaries:
Chapter 1

Shiso-flavored Pepsi?

2009-06-24T23:05:00.005+09:00

What were they thinking with this one???

Ok, so every year for the past few years there has been some random limited edition flavor come out that's only available in Japan and only for a limited time!! Japanese people will buy anything if it's only for a limited time. They love their gentei stuff in general (限定= limited issue or limited area goods) - maybe as much as they like cute stuff.

Anyway back to the nastiness, horrible. Two summers ago it was cucumber Pepsi, which wasn't very good. Last year it was apparently Blue Hawaii, which I may or may not have tried but obviously did not leave much of an impression on me if I did. This year? Shiso-flavored Pepsi. What is shiso you may ask? Well the English translation is apparently a "beefsteak plant", which I know has just got your mouth watering already. Basically though, it's that edible minty leaf thing that you may find garnishing your sushi. Shiso by itself isn't too bad I guess, actually pretty good wrapped around (horse) meat, but the mere idea of mixing it with Pepsi is just beyond disgusting to me. It makes me feel like reaching back in my vocabulary about 20 years or so to call it grody. Or maybe it just makes me feel like reaching back into my throat to purge the vileness from my body before it reaches my stomach. That my friends is what grody tastes like. So of course I bought one, but just so I could drink it and tell people how grody it was.

First off, it's green. Smell? Sort of like that wasabi-ish dry spice that shoots up your nose and burns just a tinge. Taste? It sort of lags a bit - at first it just tastes weird like when you were a kid and mixed Mountain Dew in with your Coke and then accidentally put orange juice in instead of orange Fanta, but then the shiso kicks in and it's sweet and spicy at the same time. I've had spicy beer before as well, and I am going to have to say that God did not intend drinks to be spicy. Ever. It does not work.

In the also-ran category, Coke has decided to come out with their own gentei version that people will buy even though it's disgusting, green tea Diet Coke. While I've heard personal account that this is really not good either, it just doesn't trigger my gag reflex as much as shiso Pepsi.

Oh, and as an added bonus, McDonald's is having a special on their McNuggets, which are now a 100 yen until July 2nd (more gentei, I can't control myself!!). They now come with more Pokemon meat, as can be seen on the box to the left. Mmm... pikachu meat.

Yakudoshi - the year of calmity

2009-06-23T10:56:00.013+09:00

(Please excuse the crap pics as I'm still arguing with Canon over mine and am limited to my phone's camera and existing internet stock)

So I recently got to see a little bit of the more Japanese side of my girlfriend lately in the form of a lesson in Japanese superstition, which I shall now pass on to you. See there's this thing in Japanese called 厄年 (read yakudoshi, year of bad luck/calamity) in which all sorts of bad things can happen to you - you're supposedly more likely to lose your job, get cheated on, get seriously injured or what have you. Normally being a rather sane and grounded individual she of course didn't believe such nonsense, but she's had a series of unlucky experiences lately which she has come to associate with this, such as feeling the squish of a roach-zilla on her toes as she put on her sock (not sure if it was already dead or if she killed it), almost getting hit by a car on her bike (I got her beat on that one) and other such things. As other examples of yakudoshi, I found stories about people getting hit while standing waiting for a stoplight by a bike at just the right angle to break a leg, and apparently Princess Diana was on her yakudoshi the year everyone found out about her affairs and she got divorced (!!).

I personally had not heard of yakudoshi, but here's the gist as it was explained to me. There are apparently some slight regional variations on this, but basically it goes that at the ages of 25, 42 and 61 for men and 19, 33 and 37, you better watch your back for the boogeyman because random shit is waiting for you around the corner. These years are based on the old system for counting years in which you are born at age 1, so basically you just take a year off that. The middle of these is supposedly the worst (called taiyaku 大厄 in Japanese - 42 and 33 for men and women respectively) with the year itself (本厄, honyaku) being preceded and followed by years that lead into and tail off with the bad luck (前厄 and 後厄, maeyaku and atoyaku). You can see a chart of this year's yakudoshi to the left. As with some other Japanese superstitions, reasons for the years picked is widely thought to do with alternate meanings for the readings of the numbers. 4 is generally an unlucky number in Japanese because it can be pronounced shi, as in 'death', and thus 42 (shi-ni) is bad... but only for men. 33 for women can be pronounced 'sanzan', which can mean terrible.

So what do you traditionally do in such years of calamity? Well in order to shoo away the bad luck you go to a shrine for either 厄祓い or 厄除け(yakubarai and yakuyoke) in order to get rid of bad luck or serve a preemptive blow to possible forthcoming calamities. At the shrine you can either give the priests a few man (couple $100USD) to put your name in a ceremony they go through several times a day to scare away the bad luck demons, or you can buy one of their lovely, overly-priced protective charms. Obviously the more money you spend the better, so they have charms anywhere from 500 yen to 50,000 yen (the crystal ones are allegedly most effective for yakudoshi... expensive buggers). My girlfriend went for one of the cheaper options - they sell you a wooden peg which you write your name onto and then smash it down into a board with holes using a mallet as shown above. There was also the standard omikuji, which are sort of like your luck horoscope which you read and then tie onto a string with all the other omikuji for the day as a sort of prayer to the luck gods. (Mikuji picture on the left courtesy of Wikipedia)

Where does such superstition come from? Well, it comes from onmyodo (陰陽道), the Japanese version of astrology based on the Chinese zodiac system. Exact roots aren't known for sure, but there was an ancient custom in China stating that children from the ages of 7 to 9 should be careful of calamities which some think may have some correlation. Onmyodo originally came from Chinese Wu Xing and the yin/yang principle introduced to Japan in the 5th and 6th centuries, then was mixed with Shintoism, Taoism and Buddhism. This form of astrology is more popular out here than that associated with the western zodiac. The whole yakudoshi biz was believed by the aristocracy and higher ups by the Heian Period, and knowledge had spread to the general population by the Edo era.

And you may wonder why does it last for 3 years and not just one? One opinion I found from a Shinto scholar is that this comes from an ancient Japanese tradition called 致斎 (chisai) in which you are supposed to distance yourself from celebration, mourning or any other gathering for 3 days if you are in contact with a death, birth or other bloody act which needs purification in the sight of the gods. This normally holds for the day before and the day after the actual event itself, a concept that could have been carried over to yakudoshi as well.

I found one site trying to make some ridiculous parallels between yakudoshi and supposed superstitions in the west and other countries, but I couldn't find any information anywhere online to corroborate these correlations in English. Just out of interest I'm going to list these to see if anyone else has heard of any of these superstitions:

ENGLAND - for men any year ending in 4, and for women any year ending in 7. To ward off bad luck you're supposed to gather fruit off a tree in the number corresponding to your age and leave them outside for 3 days and 3 nights, then burn them. The more witnesses you have the better (so everyone can laugh at your superstitious ass).
SPAIN - for men 24 and 44, for women 14 and 34. To cure yourself, you're supposed to surround yourself by relatives and friends while eating a certain number of pieces of horse meat corresponding to your age. After this there's a big party with singing and dancing... silly Spaniards, that's their solution to everything!
EGYPT - for men and women every 4th year from the age of 4 all the way through your 50's. To cure this you're supposed to get a piece of fabric from a local elder and keep in on you for that year. I think this sounds sort of like a Muslim "DON'T kick me" sign.
TURKEY - for men 23, 43 and 63 and for women 13, 33 and 53. This is cured by the relatives and friends getting together and making a life-sized clay doll and robing it with colorful clothing, then washing it away with water. The person has to stay in the house while this is being done so he can keep from laughing at all his stuperstitious relatives and friends.

These all sound rather ridiculous and I doubt any of them really exist, but then again I think the whole yakudoshi thing is ridiculous too. I think I'll just hide up on the 13th floor with my black cat underneath a ladder and toss salt over my shoulder until the whole thing blows over.

Dispelling common Japanese misconceptions about translation: advice for the aspiring

2009-06-15T12:23:00.006+09:00

So the other day I got a mail from a friend I used to work with saying that another friend of hers was looking into how to get started in translation. As she knew that I've recently done the same, she figured maybe I could help give him some friendly advice, and set up a meeting. I have been translating at every job I've had since I got to Japan about 3 years ago now and been accepting freelance work on the side for more than 2 years, but I'm really just getting started at doing freelance work fulltime, so I wasn't sure how much advice I'd be able to offer him. I figured that some experience is better than none though, and as he was just starting out my advice couldn't hurt really.

There are a few things that I feel Japan usually misunderstands about the world of translation, so I stuck to the basics. Here's what I told him:

Lots of people think that if you can understand both languages you can automatically be a translator - false. Translation involves 2 main skills: understanding the source text and skillfully putting that into words in the target language. For example, for me this means that I not only have to be able to understand what is written in Japanese, but also need to be able to write well in English. There are plenty of people that aren't very adept at writing in their own language, and if you're one of those people then you're going to need to work at that to be a good translator. It's not just about accuracy (although that is important, it can be pedantically overemphasized amongst Japanese translators), but also about style.
Just because you know both languages doesn't mean you should translate both ways. Uggh... this is probably the most common and annoying misconception in Japan, even with translation companies. In the rest of the world, people generally translate into their native language, basically because no matter how well you learn your 2nd (3rd, 4th, etc.) language, you will always have tiny imperfections or not know all the colloquialisms of the foreign language. In Japan, many people think of a translator as someone who translates between both languages in their pair, and then add an extra step by having a native speaker check the work. I don't care how good Kenji's English is I guarantee that mine is better, and likewise he's always going to know more Japanese than I. From a quality standpoint, whenever possible I should leave translations into Japanese to them, and they should leave translations into English to me.
Work in-house for at least a year or so, and get yourself a specialty. While not strictly required, both of these help for sure. Working in-house means that you often have direct access to the person who wrote the text in the first place and can confirm hard to understand clauses directly. It also means that you have time to build your skills and specialized vocabulary.

As far as a specialty goes, you will make far more money in the long run translating a niche market than you will in general translation. Law work, including patents, and medical work can easily command twice the price of general translation work, but even technical fields such as IT or engineering can make money. I forget where, but one place I saw online said that in the long run it's most important to pick your specialty based on what you enjoy as opposed to what the most expensive field du jour is.
Decide rates based on the source, not the translation! The reason for this is simple and logical, and looking around at some translation companies I can't believe this escapes them... if I'm translating from Japanese to English, I have control over how many words I write, but I can't do anything about how many characters are in the original source text. Thus to take any question of the translator just being wordy in order to inflate their fee and focus on making the best possible translation they can, you should base payment on the source. It's the most fair way to do things.
A word-for-word translation is not always the best translation. As mentioned in 1 above, you are writing for an audience, and different audiences understand things differently. If you have a warning label in Japanese that says "please do this," it should be in command form in English, not left as a kind request. Also there are entirely too many direct translations out there that come off as very stiff and hard to read.
Keep up your skills and never stop learning. In order to do this, you need to read regularly in both languages and also write in your native language, e.g. the target language you're translating into. Many people realize they need to continuously work on their 2nd language, but neglect to work on their native language skills as well. These skills will totally fall off if you don't use them!

Those are the basics I believe. Specific rates and all are whole different can of worms... maybe I'll get into it some other time.

Sanma's SUPER Karakuri TV, and Japanese relationships as told by "famous" wives

2009-06-14T20:29:00.006+09:00

So I'm not much of a fan of Japanese tv, but one show that I do watch at least semi-regularly is Sanma's SUPER (!!!) Karakuri TV. The host, Sanma, is one of Japan's most famous comedians, and known for having extraordinarily big teeth... he's ok (See right). They of course have the obligatory "talento" panel gathered to comment about things, but have some funny stuff on there using actual people, not tv personalities. They've also had a bunch of foreign regulars over the years, including Thane Camus, Bobby Olugun and Robert Baldwin. In the past they've had stuff like the foreigner Japanese quizzes with "Japan King" Robert Baldwin, the Hiroshima-born Canadian that knows entirely too much about Japan, or they'll have quizzes with 3 old guys (note: old people that don't care anymore and will say absolutely anything), or my all-time favorite when they used to have the drunk salarymen quizzes where they'd ask a drunk guy on his way home from a drinking party some question and then let him use a public phone to call whoever he wanted to try and find out the answer, often to hilarious result.

Anyway I watched it tonight (7pm Sundays and on channel 6 in Tokyo, btw), and afterwards there was a "special" (considering every other week is a special, it has about as much meaning as them calling the tv-personalities "talent") with five famous wives asking them about their spouses, and I thought it might be a small window into Japanese relationships so I left it on... it wasn't interesting to receive my undivided attention, but here's what I remember of it.

So the 5 wives were Junko Akimoto (60-something year old singer), Akira Hokuto (female pro-wrestler... scarily mannish), Izumi Ogami (announcer and voice actor), Nozomi Tsuji (overly cutesy former Morning Musume singer) and Miki Fujimoto (pretty hot former Morning Musume singer).

They talked about a few topics, the first of which I remember the discussion being about married finances. It's fairly well-known that the wife holds the purse strings in most households in Japan, at least traditionally. Miki-chan was the newlywed (or rather will be next month), and was talking about them each keeping their own finances, which most of the other women said was unrealistic as time goes on, especially after kids. I'd say that's a fair assessment, but not reason enough for me to hand over my entire paycheck to the wife every month and have her give me a monthly allowance. Everyone was shocked, or maybe disappointed would be a better description, at one of the wives when she said that she's the one that gets an allowance. I've heard from several former co-workers that they indeed let their wives control the money... they say they don't have time to worry about bills, supposedly because they are too busy working absurd hours at the office or something. I don't see why Japanese guys are so stereotypically bad with money though... one of the wives said her hubby wastes all kinds of money on an aquarium and fish, and another said her hubby wastes all kinds of money on a car (I could totally see that one, actually).

The other question I remember them asking was "you're trick to a healthy relationship." First up was Maki-chan who said she mails her fiance about 10 times daily, for stuff like when she wakes up or telling him where she's going or whatever, and that he's always good about responding. I believe in communication, but 10x/day... wow. She got lots of "he~~~s" from that one. I agree with the overall concept of keeping in touch as much as possible and all though, which the other guests seemed to think was unrealistic.

Next up was Nozomi-chan, who said they kiss everyday, which shocked everyone. Examples she gave was a good morning kiss, a goodbye kiss before going to work, a kiss when you get home and before you go to sleep - nothing that odd. The host's comment was that that sounds really stupid and unnecessary, and pretty much everyone (except Maki, bless her heart) agreed that keeping that up was just about impossible. To me it's not surprising to hear them say that with all the talk you hear about sexless marriages and married couples sleeping in separate beds and all, but dissappointing nonetheless.

Well ok, I guess it wasn't really that informative to me at least, but it did reaffirm a few ideas I have about relationships in Japan, and maybe it'll give you a better idea of things. If you kiss someone every day and sleep in the same bed then you are living a miracle to them... I guess extremely low standards are good in that they make it easy to be impressed, but it's still hard for me to believe this kind of stuff is considered standard for the state of relationships in Japan. Sorta depressing, no?

"Cash for Clunkers"? Pfft... get a load of Japanese shaken

2009-06-13T13:33:00.006+09:00

Steven Levitt over at freakonomics brought up the US "Cash for Clunkers" program again, which just passed the US House of Representatives. Before details were released, he was originally speculating that they would make it so cars over a certain age would be available for a trade-in of $3,000-4,000 or so in an effort to get older, dirtier cars off the roads and replace them with more fuel-efficient models. According to the article, the final details of the plan are thus:

Under the plan, owners of cars and trucks that get less than 18 m.p.g. could get a voucher of $3,500 to $4,500 for a new vehicle, depending on the mileage of the new model.

The plan does have several hurdles that will keep some potential buyers on the sidelines. The clunker being traded in will be crushed or recycled, meaning it will have no trade-in value beyond the voucher. Of the 25 million vehicles estimated to qualify for the voucher, most will be trucks: even 15 years ago, only five models of midsize sedans managed just 18 m.p.g.

To ensure the vehicles being crushed are actually coming off the road rather than cinder blocks, the trade-ins have to have been registered and insured for at least the past year.

So they settled on an mpg rating as opposed to a year rating to focus on removing foreign oil influence as opposed to lowering emissions directly. If, however, they did decide to try for lowering emissions, they could look no further than Japan for a plan as they have a great plan for doing so. It's expensive for consumers, but that's part of the point - giving negative incentives to owning cars so people will look into the alternatives and not be so wasteful. (This would of course need to be supplimented with such alternatives to be effective, but these could be made if the people wanted it badly enough.)

First off, most know that gas is more expensive in Japan than it is in the US, but then that's true for pretty much the rest of 1st-world countries as well. I don't have a car anymore so don't really look too closely, but last time I noticed regular gas was around 120JPY/liter ($4.62/gallon at today's exchange rates) out here - it was pushing on 200JPY/liter (~$7.50/gallon) back when Americans were complaining about $4-5/gallon.

But gas isn't the real expense of having a car out here, it's only a very small part. Just to get a license in Japan you're forced to go spend about 300,000JPY on driving school lessons (note: transfer of foreign license is exempt of this). And if you buy your own car you have to have proof of a place to park it, which unless you live way out in the country you're definitely going to have to pay for and could run you several 10,000s of yen a month, especially if you're around Tokyo. Also, one of the better parts of Japan's temporary economic stimulus package has made it so that you can use the highways to get anywhere for only 1000JPY, but all Japanese highways are tolled. Just to give you an idea of the normal rates, it usually costs give or take 10,000JPY to go from Tokyo to Sendai one-way, which will take you 365km and roughly 5 hours. A ticket on the shinkansen meanwhile will cost you about the same and get there in 2-2.5 hours, less than half the time.

Then there's the major cost in getting a car out here - the shaken system ("shah-ken"), which is basically a system requiring you to get your car inspected every 1-3 years depending on age and type of the vehicle. New passenger vehicles don't need to be inspected for 3 years, then after that they need inspection every 2 years. The inspection itself will cost you anywhere between 50,000~100,000 with any repairs deemed necessary on top of that, including scheduled maintenance items like tires, timing belts, clutches, etc. Most anywhere you take your car they will make you replace something, so normal costs to expect could be anywhere from the 60~80K JPY range for kei-cars to more like 100~200K for higher end cars (my '00 WRX cost about 150K).

This is why used vehicles depreciate so fast in Japan, and also why you don't see all that many cars that are more than 10-15 years old... not too many people are willing to spend more than the car's worth every 2 years just to keep it on the road, and for a lot of cars the shaken cost exceeds selling value after about 10-15 years or so. Older cars that aren't wanted are either exported to poorer countries that can still use them or crushed. This makes it almost impossible to find classic Japanese cars, and puts the price of those you do find prohibitively expensive for most. On the flip side, this means that most cars in Japan, including the older ones, are normally kept in spectacular running order - no clunkers. Also, because of the gas prices and highway costs, along with the craptacular traffic in urban centers like Tokyo, most people consider the spectacular train system a great alternative for long trips and commutes, opting out of using the car for long distances and keeping the odometer reading relatively low as well.

Now bringing us full circle, the consequence of this is cars in better shape due to regular and expensive inspections, meaning better gas mileage and lower emissions. Older cars are just as expensive to hold onto as newer ones, so newer cars with even lower emissions are the norm. As a corollary, newer cars mean that people have to buy cars more often, further feeding the economy (normally). Also due to the higher gas prices and highway costs, people are more likely to buy more efficient cars in the first place... if they decide to buy one at all. I'm sure if the American system took this as its model, well first off you'd have a bunch of pissed off Americans, but you'd certainly cut emissions and raise fuel efficiency.

In closing, this is why I do not own a car in Japan. The end.

Manga for adults?

2009-06-11T22:58:00.003+09:00

So the other day I was in a rather typical situation - getting my haircut and making small talk with the barber. The place I go to get my hair cut is actually pretty interesting - they measure my hair on different points of my head with a ruler after cutting it and put it all on this spiffy diagram to save for the next time I came in, so after a few times they know exactly to a science how to cut your hair. Not only that, but everyone in the whole store knew me and my girlfriend by name after the first time going there... and to top it all off they give this awesome scalp massage. Spectacular service!

Anyway, my barber seems like at least a halfway intelligent guy and is pretty cool, and the last time I went in the conversation somehow got onto tv. I find Japanese tv to be barely tolerable in most situations and spend my time in front of a computer to avoid it - I'll spare you the reasoning, but if you're interested then reading this might give you an idea why - so I tried to change the topic by asking him what he's read lately.

Read? Nope, not him. Or at least, not books. He apparently devotes all his reading energies into either manga or magazines. I've personally never been able to get into manga, but I know that a decent portion of the Japanese population, including adults, spends a fair amount of their social reading energies with it.

If I were to pick up the latest issue of X-men or whatever at my age back home then I'd be labeled a nerd before I got the front page open, but I'm not even sure if it's possible to ride the train home from downtown Tokyo without seeing at least one 30 or 40-something salaryman flipping through this week's issue of whatever manga. I can see ulterior motives sometimes though as some of these are interspersed with pictures of J-girl nekkidness... I'm talking about pictures of actual girls here, but you will also find plenty of adult-content manga out there with nudity as well, which just boggles my mind.

There are all sorts and kinds of manga out there on any topic - from your standard Naruto and Fullmetal Alchemist to the more obscure, like the Kuroudo title I mentioned the other day to manga versions of famous books like Vagabond (based on the classic novel Musashi, written in the 1930's and translated in 1981 if you want to look for a copy) and even on historical events. Predominantly it's targeted towards boys/men, but there are also female-oriented manga out there as well.

It is probably because of this range that many people flock to manga as a lighter, more enjoyable alternative to books, but I'm still not sold. There are certain titles out there that I'm sure I'd enjoy (Vagabond and Kuroudo are probably both interesting), but I'd just rather stick with books... how much of it is just a personal prejudice I'm not sure, but books just feel more sophisticated. To me, reading manga for something would be akin to opting to wait for the movie to come out back home, and with some exceptions I'd say that in my experience the original format is far and away better when it comes out in book first (or movie for that matter).

Sure it's probably easier to get through the manga, but maybe that's another reason I like the books... if I'm going to pick up language from reading, I'd prefer it to be as sophisticated as
possible. Also as a translator, it's important to stay read up in both languages to keep my skills from dwindling. You get plenty of people who come out to Japan and lose their high-level communication abilities in English due to lack of native-level input, but then trying to avoid talking over everyone's head will do that to you... I'd like to keep that from happening, in both languages.

Also I don't want to make it seem like everyone out here only reads manga - I'd say books on the train probably still outnumber manga... there's also a fair bit of PSPs and DSes out there, as well as the girls that will sit there and just mess with their phones the entire time they're on the train.

So bottom line, does reading manga instead of books make my barber a simple person? Nah, I think it just makes him more Japanese. I think I can deal with that.

What happened to real bbqs?

2009-06-10T09:12:00.002+09:00

Ah yes, the charcoal, smoke from the grill, drinks and friends, hot dogs and bur... wait, what happened to the burgers?!? It's barbeque season, and as barbeque is one of the things I think the US does best in terms of food, I take pride in firing up the grill with some regularity out here as well. There are definitely some things I miss though, like burgers!

This past weekend I helped organize a little barbeque, and while I was grabbing a spot and setting up the grill, the Japanese co-organizers were over at the store picking up the meat and everything. Knowing from previous experience, I explicitly told them to pick up burgers and sausages that could be placed in a bun, resembling what you or I might know as a "hot dog" (go ahead, do the airquotes along with me).

Japanese people love barbequing, but the concept of a burger on the grill seems to be utterly lost to them. My partners in crime come back with the standard Japanese faire - yakiniku-style meat (small little bite-sized pieces that can be eaten easily with chopsticks - see above), yakisoba, veggies, and some quite nice bacon-wrapped asparagus sticks. What's missing? Where's my burgers?? They tell me that the store, while touting itself online as a "bbq specialty" market that even rents out grills and other ancillary barbeque equipment and furniture, does not carry burgers. Or buns, for that matter. That sir is an outrage!! It is a rather standard outrage here though as I mentioned, because I've been to many a barbeque in Japan and never see them pull out burgers. I should note, however, that speaking to a German attendee he said that Germans don't really do burgers either... he was with me on the sausages though.

So yesterday, feeling slightly unsatiated with my whole barbeque experience, I went to the store and bought some hamburger meat and made some hamburgers, fired up the grill yet again and topped them off with some Jack Daniel's Honey BBQ sauce, with Old Bay seasoned fries on the side (it's a MD thing). Situation tastily averted.

Got published again...

2009-06-09T11:06:00.006+09:00

Ok now this announcement is a little late for sure, but as it's somewhat interesting (to me, at least) I figured I'd put it out there. Besides, normally I'm doing confidential stuff which I'm not allowed to talk about, so this is fun for me. :P

As I've been paying the bills as a translator lately, I've been seeing a whole bunch more stuff and reading a bunch more lately. Most of the time I'm working with technical stuff like manuals and work specificiations and such, but I also get some general translation coming through which can be fun.

For example, the other day I was asked to translate one line for a manga called 蔵人(kuroudo) ... here's a review from Amazon:

舞台は島根県。

そこにある日本酒を作っている蔵に外国人が訪れます。
彼の祖母は、外国に渡った日本人で、昔、日本で日本酒を造っていた父親の蔵を想いながら孫である彼に伝えます。

近年、日本酒離れが多い日本で、外国人が日本酒の作りに参加するという観点は
「夏子の酒」を書いた原作者ならではの作品だと思います。

無くなってしまった、自分の蔵を巡る修行の日々。日本語もわからない異文化の中
どうやって酒作りにクロードが携わっていくのか楽しみな一巻です。

The stage is Shimane-ken.

A foreigner visits a sake brewery. His grandmother was a Japanese who left for abroad and told her grandson how her father used to make sake while reminiscing about his brewery.

In a modern Japan which has largely broken away from sake, making a manga about foreigners taking part in sake brewing is something that could only be done by the author of "Natsuko's Sake".

The days of training through making the rounds of his own brewery that is no more... this book tells the interesting tale that our hero Claude has taken on, to learn how to make sake in a different culture without understanding Japanese.

While I argue with the premise that he's the first to come up with the idea of a foreigner brewing sake, it does sound somewhat interesting if the author does it right.

Anyway, so I found out the other day that the book that I translated the line for got published, woo! You can see my work in the June 5th edition of Big Comic Original published by Shogakukan. If you're in Japan then check it out next time you're in a conbini or something.

Test Your Brain

2009-06-09T11:04:00.002+09:00

I saw a few brain teasing tests and quizzicles for those that like IQ-type stuff - follow the link. Originally seen at the Freakonomics blog.

˙˙˙plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝpıs ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ ɟɟnʇs ǝdʎʇ noʎ uǝɥʍ ǝʞıl sʞool ʇı ʇɐɥʍ sı sıɥʇ

2009-06-08T23:20:00.002+09:00

˙ƃɐqlooʇ ɐ sı ǝʞıɯ :sd

˙ǝɹǝɥ os op uɐɔ noʎ uǝɥʇ 'ɟlǝsɹnoʎ ɹoɟ ʇno ʇı ʎɹʇ oʇ ʇuɐʍ noʎ ɟı ¿ʞuıɥʇ noʎ op ʇɐɥʍ - ʇoɥs ɐ ʇı ǝʌıƃ p,ı pǝɹnƃıɟ puɐ uʍop ǝpısdn ɟɟnʇs ǝdʎʇ noʎ sʇǝl ʇɐɥʇ ǝuıluo ǝʇıs sıɥʇ pǝʇʇods ı os

Edit: Confused? Go here.

Tipping the Scales - the US vs. Japan

2009-06-05T12:43:00.008+09:00

Well I am feeling just great here - given my reemergence on the capoeira scene as of the past year or so and my more than open work schedule as of late, I'm probably in the best shape I've been since moving out to Miyagi almost 3 years ago now. My weight's right about where I want it, and being so active gives me a ton of energy. Maybe it's rubbing off, but my female companion person has been feeling the need to get back into exercising, which with her schedule is a much more arduous task.

To reach her newly founded goal of losing 5kg, she is using one of the newer fitness fads out here lately (and apparently worldwide I'm told), Core Rhythms. It replaced Billy's Boot Camp, so that automatically gives it cool points. I find it to be absolutely hilarious, but she enjoys it and that's all that's important. She wanted to have a definite starting point to the whole thing though, so she picked up this scale that measures BMI and body fat and all, which brings us to today's topic.

You see, Japan has entirely unrealistic weight standards for me and just about any other non-Asian descent foreigner here you speak to, but that won't stop the doctor from tell you you're fat based on his standards if you go in for a checkup. I wasn't totally sure what BMI was exactly, or what acceptable values for it or body fat were, so I did a little research on world standards and how they stack up against Japanese standards as shown in the instruction manual for the scale and what I could find online.

First off BMI, or Body Mass Index, is basically your weight divided by the square of your height.
Anything below 18.5 is underweight, 18.5-24.9 is acceptable and over 25 is overweight. There are different levels of everything, for example over 30 is obese, over 40 is morbidly obese and under 15 is known as "Skeletor".

So this is the ideal range, what's the actual ideal? Well this is where you start finding different results... there have been studies by a Japanese guy (go fig) that say that the absolute ideal is between 21 and 22 according to this and this other sites, meaning that at roughly 5'6" you should weigh 138lbs! This is just simply not going to happen anytime in my lifetime. The instruction book for the scale said you should aim for 23 however, which would put me at about 145lbs or so. Here's a readout on a site I found based on the Japanese standard:

Translation:
Your height: 169cm
Your weight: 68kg

Your height-standard weight is 62.83kg.
Your ideal weight is 57.12kg.
Difference between your weight and the standard is 5kg.
Difference between your weight and the ideal is 10kg.
Your obesity level is NaN (searched again and came up with 8.228%)
Your BMI index is 23.8.

...so that means that BMI 22 is even too high, what?!?!? Me at 57kg (BMI 20 and 122lbs!) would just be disgusting, but I'm convinced that this is exactly the kind of unrealistic weights that Japanese doctors expect to see from Japanese people. As this brings back not-so-fond memories of pictures of me as a scrawny, pimple-faced high schooler, I don't see that happening ever, ever again. If you have any muscle mass at all then that is totally unrealistic, and even with no muscles would still make you look all scrawny and puny like some goth chick in Harajuku or gyaru in Shibuya so skinny that she looks like a skeleton with skin, and believe you me, you will witness this at least once with a little walking around. The proof that doctor's spread this kind of weight goal to everyone is in the pudding - everyone here is chasing unrealistic weight goals and it shows.

This to me is such a huge disservice to the Japanese public - if you think all girls are self conscious about their weight then you should see what it's like with some seriously effed standards breathing down their necks (see Harajuku/Shibuya reference above)... stressful I'm sure. It makes me think of a situation where a kid's parents pressure him to get straight A's his whole life, then he gets a B+ one day in gym or something because he's all skeletor and stuff and his parents shit a collective brick. What good is that really? Not everyone wants to be a stick figure with a 4.0 GPA, geez.

As for those body fat levels, according to this site healthy for my age would be between 8-19%, and my girlfriend should be aiming for 21-33%. The simplified goals in the scale instruction manual list 10-20% for men and 20-30% for women, not too far off. With a body fat % of 17ish, I'm right inside the world safe zones both here and on BMI, but I hope to get the fat one down a little.

I shall not be losing 10 or even 5kg, in fact if anything I might wind up gaining a little overall in terms of muscle - screw Matsutaka-sensei and his whack standard weights to hell!! I won't let my girlfriend get down on things - I think she's awesome staying in the BMI23-25 range and focusing more on keeping the fat down. If she hits 22 then I'm taking her out for some yakiniku or something, no unrealistic goals for her either.

What does the JLPT mean really?

2009-05-30T12:41:00.004+09:00

Given recent circumstances which I won't get into here, I've been getting back to the basics, studying the 'ol Nihongoes. I feel like I've hit one of those linguistic plateaus over the past year or so and am thinking it might be about time to finally polish a certain spur that's sticking out in terms of the JLPT.

As many reading this know, the JLPT currently has 4 levels with 1 being the highest, although they are scheduled to redo the format on next year's test to have 5 levels (the jump from level 3 to 2 was too big for most people) and allow the highest level to measure higher levels of ability better. Up until last year it was only offered once a year (it's now twice a year for the top 2 levels), and worldwide only about a third of those who take the top level pass.

I last took the highest level of it (1Q) 2 years ago, which you currently need a 70% to pass. I got a 278/400, which is roughly 69.5%. Ouch. Given practical knowledge I've gained since then, I should have no problem with it and was planning on taking it again eventually, but was originally thinking that if they're going to change the format I might as well wait for that in 2010... now I'm thinking it might be useful to take it or some other test this year.

So why take the test, and why have I been putting it off? First off a little background - JLPT 1Q is a minimum requirement for entrance into undergrad programs at many Japanese universities, who basically think you need this level in order to be able to understand what's going on in your classes and participate. It is also looked upon favorably by the JET Program, who sees 2Q as the minimum Japanese ability for a CIR from western countries and 1Q as the minimum requirement for a Chinese CIR. Outside of this sphere you may get some recognition out of having it, say in translation circles, but for the most part Japanese people have never heard of it much less people anywhere else in the world. I've heard 1Q thrown around among translators as a bare minimum to get into the field, but the truth is that if they think you can do the job and you pass their trials then 1Q doesn't mean anything. So basically, this means that actually holding a JLPT certification is useful if you want to go to a Japanese school for 4 years or be a CIR - I have a degree already, and I've been a CIR.

The reason to take a test for me is really more about setting a personal goal. Living in the country and doing certain things in the language do raise your levels to a certain extent, but once you can do all the things you need to do comfortably you're learning will start to plateau off which is where I am. The only way to get off this plateau is to set a goal and stick to it, and studying for a test is a great way to force your hand. Sure it's something to put on your resume I guess, but since most people don't know what it is and will probably judge you more on your production ability anyway, I rule that one out.

So what about the reasons NOT to take the JLPT? Well there are a few I can think of, not least of which is the lack of practicality mentioned above. Another is the contrivance of it all - the two main deficiencies I see with the test are 1) it only tests passive knowledge, so no writing or speaking and 2) it's geared towards literary language in the higher levels and thus involves a bunch of stuff not normally needed in daily life, unless you read a lot of higher level stuff daily. 1) means that you can theoretically pass 1Q and not be able to write any kanji or hold a good conversation, which to me defeats the purpose of learning the language. 2) means that you pretty much have to study specifically for the test, again making it less practical to daily life.

There are also other testing options out there depending on where you are in the world and what you want to focus on, such as the Kanji Kentei for kanji nerds (only offered in Japan), BJT for those in the business world (formerly offered by JETRO and includes an interview test if you get far enough), and the little known nihongo kentei(offered to Japanese as well as foreigners) and J-Test(apparently geared towards Chinese), both of which go beyond JLPT levels.

Now given all this, is the JLPT for you? Think long and hard.

Red Bull Box Cart Race, Oct. 11, in Odaiba

2009-05-29T11:04:00.009+09:00

A former co-worker pointed out an interesting marketing scheme that he ran across the other day in Harajuku. There's an area around Shibuya-Harajuku known as Cat Street - the description I found searching around was this:

明治通りの東側原宿～渋谷の川を埋め立てた曲がりくねった道　静かでおしゃれな店がちらほら
1.猫の出没が多い、2.猫の額のように狭い、3.「Black Cat」発祥地　など名前の由来に諸説有り

On the east side of Meiji-dori - the twisting path covering the river between Harajuku and Shibuya. It's quiet with a bunch of cool stores here and there. Guesses on how it got its name are: 1. there are lots of cats, 2. it's narrow like a cat's forehead (don't ask me to explain that one...), 3. gets it's name from famous stores like Black Cat, etc. in the area.

If you'd like to check it out for yourself, the easiest way to get there is to get off at Harajuku station and walk all the way to the bottom of Takeshita-dori. It's not the main street you hit, but sort of breaks off from there paralleling the main street on the far side away from the station. There's a bunch of weird fashion stores there and a few cafes/restaurants. Here's a list of stores there (link in Japanese).

Anyway, so lately on Cat Street, a bunch of the bikes that have been left there have started losing random parts, like you see on the right here. What's the deal you ask? Is there some random bum around making a bike part castle somewhere, or did the police forget to bring their truck when they came to confiscate bikes and just decide to take what they could?

Nope, none of the above - the parts have been "borrowed" with a promise to return them even. Here's the caption as it reads on that note you see attached:

タイヤ（シート）借りました。

自転車の持ち主へ
2009年10月11日（日）に開催される
RED BULL BOX CART RACE用に
あなたのタイヤ（シート）を借りました。
イベント後に必ずお返しします。

REDBULLBOXCARTRACE.JP

I borrowed your tire (seat).

Dear bike owner,
I have borrowed your tire (seat) for the Red Bull Box Cart Race being held on October 11th, 2009 (Sun.). I will return it after the event without fail.

Soo... it's just a marketing scheme then? Here's a video - they're still taking entries for anyone interested, so sign up!

Details on the event:

the 1st Japan Red Bull Box Cart Race
Date: Oct. 11, 2009, starts at 1pm
Place: Odaiba, Dream Bridge (夢の大橋)

If anyone's actually interested I could have a look at the rules for entry... I think it might be worth at least showing up for to watch. More than that though, the ad scheme is certainly attention grabbing.

Original link my co-worker came across is here (Japanese only).

Edit: pictures and my write-up on the event itself can be found here.

BIG trouble in little Tokyo!! gasp

2009-05-21T02:33:00.003+09:00

Ok this is serious - everyone drop everything, because it's 2:34am and I am having a minor crisis here. I couldn't sleep and given my new vocational freedom don't have a set schedule per se, so decided to come out to the living room and pass the time on the 'ol pasocon (you'd never guess that came from English, would you?). I go into the kitchen to pour myself another Captain 'n Coke (yarr!!), and what laid before me?

A COCKROACH. And I'm not talking any cockroach, I'm talking a COCKROACH THE FRICKING SIZE OF TEXAS. I'm not referring to Texas-sized cockroaches, because we all know they like everything huge down there, no I'm talking the state of Texas, as in this thing could take on Godzilla and probably win, if he were not in fact a mythical creature. Yes I know it's paradoxical considering the state of Texas is geographically bigger than Japan, but this thing is seriously grotesquely huge... disposal is going to be a delicate situation that is going to be handled totally hush-hush on the DL as not to disturb the already-scared-to-death-of-bugs girlfriend.

For those of you taking notes at home, this is a reason that rent is cheaper on the first floor of buildings (at least in Japan) - bugs. Japan does not mess around when it comes to bugs, oh no. They thrive in the moist and humid environs and that goes double for us first floorers. I was lucky enough to know enough Japanese to get around before I got here the first time for my 1-year study abroad all those years ago, but the first new word that I learned coming off the plane and settling into my new digs at the dorm was "gokiburi" (cockroach).

And of course it doesn't stop there - I scooped up a Mothra-sized moth to shoo out the window the other night, and I've even been assaulted by bugs in my pants. I was also chased down the hall once by the worst of all the bugs I know in Japan: mukade. Those things just freak me out.

Ok, well I'm going to sip my drink and then go curl up in a corner and cry myself to sleep now (I kid).

My struggles with カビ

2009-05-13T09:09:00.003+09:00

Ah yes spring, my favorite season is finally here! The sakura have bloomed, the birds are chirping, and the temperatures are just perfect for at least a month or two before the unbearable heat and humidity of the Japanese summer that will undoubtedly be accompanied by excessive amounts of AC blasting throughout the trains and stores across town.

It also means the return of an old nemesis: mold. Mold and Japan go hand in hand like... I dunno, two things that go together really well. Given my current choice of breakfast I'm gonna go with "like bananas and strawberry yogurt". Anyway, lots of mold in Japan.

My history with mold in Japan goes back to my first days here a few years back when I lived in an all tatami apartment. It was spacious and free so I wasn't complaining at all, but come spring I knew why people avoid tatami mats and go for western style rooms. I went away one weekend and left the windows open to air the place out, then came back and it half looked like I had a lawn in my apartment! You need to keep your place clean to avoid mold settling in, and this goes double for tatami mats. This was up in Tohoku as well, so I'm sure that having tatami rooms further south could only be worse.

So ok, lesson learned and I haven't lived in a tatami-based home since. Now this time around, I look in my closet the other day and what do I find? Mold, growing on some clothes! This place tends to gather condensation a bunch since it's on the 1st floor. And here I thought people avoided living on the 1st floor in Japan so people wouldn't look in their windows and/or steal their panties (girls only), but yes, the 1st floor is more likely to have bug and mold problems as well.

Now what do you do if you have mold? How do you avoid it? You need to be careful of any place where condensation might gather, such as closets, drawers, around the bathroom and washing machine, the kitchen and close to windows. In general, you need to keep the place clean, have good air flow and not allow hot air to settle if you can help it. Here are some tips that I found:

After you take a shower/bath, before you leave turn on the fan, then rinse the walls off first with hot water, then with cold water. This cools the place down and gives all the hot air a chance to get out.
Always turn the fan on in the kitchen when cooking or running hot water, and leave the fan on for a little afterwards too.
Leave things like beds and couches set off from the wall about 5cm or so as mold tends to gather in small crevices.
Buying a dehumidifier is the easiest for sure, but if you don't want to or can't afford it then there are these things you can buy at DIY shops to help handle humidity. I got a bunch to stick in drawers, some that you can hang in your closet, and bigger ones that you can just place on the floor anywhere that tends to get hot and/or moist. The closet ones were called ドライペット if you're interested, but that's just the brand.
If you have tatami mats, wipe them down regularly! First you go through with a damp cloth, then a dry one. I did it once every 2-3 weeks depending on need.
Clean things regularly (!!), and every now and then check areas you don't use or look every day such as drawers, spare futons, around windows, in the shoe storage areas, etc. Here's a diagram I found covering everything, although it's in Japanese.

Here's the original Japanese for a site I was looking off to make this list if you're interested. One thing I thought was interesting on the site was that it mentioned that because Japan has such a humid climate, the culture developed a bunch of fermented food products, such as miso, soy sauce and nihonshu (sake). If that's the case, I wonder why cheese never caught on here??? Sigh... I could make a whole other post about that one.

Japan and swine flu hyper reactions

2009-05-12T12:40:00.009+09:00

Well here I am, back in Japan for a week now. Time back home sure seemed to fly!

So before we even landed in Narita, we got smacked with the most recent pandemic that has swept the nation of Japan: swine flu hysteria. Note that the pandemic is not swine flu itself, which has been widely shown to be only about as strong as the seasonal flu and only has a few hundred cases worldwide, but the hysteric hyper over reactions to it I've witnessed everywhere.

In the plane they gave everyone in the plane a health survey to fill out along with the standard customs and disembarkation papers, which is ok enough I guess, but then the real fun started when the plane touched down. We were made to wait in our seats 30 minutes for a quarantine inspector to make it to our plane, at which time the less-than-comfortable-or-attractive masks were summarily passed out to all passengers (note: none of the stewardesses were wearing masks at any time, even during the inspection, so I assume that they at least realize the folly in all of this). Then the inspector comes through with an industrial-sized mask and a heat-sensing camera to check us all out. He checked our surveys one by one then gives us this sheet saying they'll call to check on us later.

Another half hour later we're out of the plane, and after showing the paper to the new makeshift quarantine gate it's reentry as usual... except for another camera crew and yet another accompanied by news staff trying to interview people on their "scary" bouts with the flu abroad. I'm sure they were sitting there for a while trying to get someone that was actually scared about the flu so they could put it on tv and spread baseless fear across the country. Looking around, we weren't the only ones that had shed their masks before even leaving the airport, so I'm imagining that most all of the people coming from abroad are much more cool-headed about things since they have not been exposed to said Japanese media scare-mongering.

2 days later, my girlfriend and I both separately got calls from the quarantine center asking us if we had any signs of the flu or anything. After I told the lady no, she said to call her if anything arose and that she'd waste her time again in another 10 days to call me and the hundreds of others that flew in.

Since getting back I've seen various reactions of people, with a strong delineation between those that read news elsewhere and those that get all their information locally. One friend told me that someone in her office that went to Hong Kong over Golden Week was told not to come into work for 10 days, and that he would be forced to use his own vacation days to do so. He was understandably upset. While I do find this disturbing, as 病休 (sick leave) is basically only used in Japan (by Japanese, at least) if you wind up in a hospital overnight I was not entirely surprised. I've heard other direct accounts that even people that are sent abroad for business trips at certain companies are forced to take a voluntary leave of absense upon returning on their own time.

I also ran across this story over at Japan Probe about university rules for travel on Golden Week, etc. This in from Waseda:

日本大学は全学渡航禁止命令を出しました。日本国内で一人でもインフルエンザが確認された場合、全学休講となります。外出をなるべくひかえ人混みに行かないように注意。
Student travel is forbidden, and students are told to avoid going out - especially to crowded places. The e-mail states that if one single human infection is confirmed in Japan, the whole school will be shut down.

One case in the country, and the whole school shuts down. Forget international travel, they won't even allow national traveling, say to visit family? Geez, over-react much?

So you'd imagine from all this that there's been at least a few cases in Japan thus far, right? Well just the other day there was finally a bonafide case of swine flu in the news. 3 Japanese coming back from Canada contracted it, so the reaction was to quarantine them and about 50 others on the plane, putting them up in a hotel. The account of one of the guys stuck in the hotel were just incredulous to me:

A Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry official asked the man not to leave his the room, except for meals, to wear a sanitary mask and not to touch anything if he had to leave the room.

Hotel employees have been prohibited from entering the travelers’ rooms, so the man cannot get room service, he said.

He said he has to wash his clothes in the bathroom of his room. He puts used towels inside a plastic bag and leaves them outside the room to be picked up by a hotel employee, he added.

For lunch Saturday, he said he had curry rice in what appeared to be a conference room. In the room, about 15 round tables were set at intervals of about three meters apart, apparently to prevent quarantined people from coming into contact with each other and spreading the virus they may possibly be infected with, he said. He sits alone at a table to eat, he said.

For dinner that day, he said he had steak.

He was asked to take his temperature in the morning, afternoon and evening.

A doctor visited him Saturday evening and told him he showed no flu symptoms, he said.

The man said he was in an unfortunate situation, but quarantining him and the other travelers was the only way to prevent the virus from spreading.

A certain phrase comes to mind that I think sums up the whole situation rather nicely...

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-FDR

Kanamara Matsuri - what's wrong with a (big pink) dong?

2009-04-09T22:27:00.009+09:00

Oh yes, I went again - the yearly festival of the steel phallus, Kanamara Matsuri. There's just something about this kind of festival that sucks you in, a certain charm I guess you might say. This time I got to see most of what I wanted to: saw the peni-parade, bought a poon-pop, rode the wooden general... done, done and done! I was also rather amused by the fact that the people who volunteered to help out in directing traffic when the procession left the shrine for a one hour jaunt through town were none other than... ready for it? The local boy scouts! Go figure.

I've mentioned the festival to any number of people, foreigner and Japanese, and people seem to be split in their opinions. Just now I had my camera on me and showed a Japanese friend pictures, and he was just shocked that such a thing happened in his country. When I told him that it's been around for a few hundred years and has tradition, he said that that makes it even worse - strange stuff like that shouldn't be what Japan is known for, but strange festivals and traditions like that exist and make Japan look weird. Oh and did I mention that this guy is a total perv who has no problem with guys cheating on their girlfriends or the various red light district options available in Japan and much of Asia for that matter?

Now sure Kanamara and festivals like it are rather known abroad, even if it's just as "that Japanese penis festival", but so what if they do? And conversely, most Japanese people don't know about it or avoid these kinds of festivals, but why shouldn't they know about it and participate in it?

There's nothing perverted about sex or penises, and I personally am certainly not shackled by that "traditional" western concept. I say "traditional" because prostitution is known as the oldest industry in the world. That, and half the world owns a penis, and everyone has sex... or at least everyone but the Pope and maybe some extreme introverts. None of us would be here if it wasn't for sex, so celebrate it!

There are fertility festivals and shrines elsewhere in the country, but Kanamara and the shrine at Kawasaki Daishi are devoted to prevention of stds - they contribute a bunch of the proceeds to HIV research apparently, and it says people on the grounds pass out condoms but I certainly didn't see them. Anyway, certainly a worthy cause. My question is, why is this something to be ashamed of, and why shouldn't the whole country be aware of and perfectly fine with the fact that these kinds of things go on in Japan?

Your country celebrates the penis Japan, now raise that penis-pop with pride! Be true to your traditions and show the rest of the world that sex is nothing to be ashamed of.

For more pictures of Kanamara visit my Flickr page.

Hanami Tour 2009

2009-04-07T23:21:00.025+09:00

I have been fairly delinquent from my posting duties here in the past month, but as I have found a small pocket of free time here, I felt the need to update the gobs of pictures I've taken over the past few weeks and decompress it all a bit.

So here's part one: hanami recap! All the photos can be found in the normal places - Facebook and Flickr. I'll try to give a brief overview of the places I went, along with a little taste for each location. If you're in Tokyo this'll give you an idea of places to check out next year, if not then it'll show you what you're missing out on.

Yoyogi Park (代々木公園)

So the first of my hanami outings was the always entertaining Yoyogi Park just outside of Harajuku. If you're in Tokyo and you want to hanami, this is the place to party for sure. Some people might try and throw you off and tell you Ueno is THE place but they're wrong... or they don't like their music turned up to 11. Yoyogi was nuts from about noon til I left at 9-10pm, and there was even DJs set up in the woods from 5 or 6pm. It was cold and the sakura weren't in full bloom yet, but that's not what we were there for.

One thing I was wondering about myself before this year was how you actually get your spot staked out in the park - well here's the answer: show early. I showed up at 9am and probably would've been fine given the less than spectacular weather and all, but just to be safe we had someone who lived close show up at 7am with our tarp, and he came through with a great spot right underneath an already blooming tree. We didn't have to bribe any squatters or stay overnight, just had to be early enough - here's the morning crew.

If you don't know already, to get there get off at Harajuku station and walk past Meiji Shrine.

Yasukuni Shrine (靖国神社)

After that blur, I was ready to just relax, so our next trip takes us to Yasukuni Shrine for some night shots outside of Kudanshita. While the shrine itself may be shrouded in controversy most of the time, I didn't even get to go inside as I showed up well after the shrine itself closed. In the area leading up to the shrine though they have a small "sakura festival" with a bunch of little stands to get food and drinks. It was ok, but there are better places to see if you're looking for yozakura viewing sites. Here's a couple more shots.

To get to Yasukuni, get off at Kudanshita station and walk up the hill. It's across from the Budokan.

Shinjuku Gyoen (新宿御苑)

Next up was Shinjuku Gyoen, which has a wonderful garden area that would be worth seeing even without sakura, and even with the stupid 200 yen entrance fee. Don't get me wrong though, as with any park this is the best time to be there - even with the crowds.

I would say that whereas Yoyogi is the most random and fun park I've been to in Tokyo without rival, but Shinjuku Gyoen is the best upkept one - they put that 200 yen to work and it shows. It may be rivaled in that department by Rikugien, which I did not make it out in time for... there's always next year.

To get to Gyoen, the fastest way is to get off at Shinjuku San-chome and walk towards Yotsuya - it's around 1-chome. Here's a couple more shots.

Aoyama Cemetery (青山霊園)

Moving along, the next stop on our tour was Aoyama Reien, also known as Aoyama Cemetery. A co-worker mentioned this place and how he always saw a whole bunch of foreigners in there taking pictures, and now I know why. It's pretty much a straight stretch of about 1-2km that is just sakura pink as far as you can see. The cemetery itself is known for being home to many of the foreigners who played crucial parts in the industrialization of Japan back in the late 19th to early 20th centuries. Fairly interesting. It apparently also holds the grave of the dog Hachiko, which most people know as a statue at Shibuya station.

This one's a little harder to get to - the fastest is probably to get off at Gaienmae on the Ginza line and walk about 8 mins., but we just took a taxi as we were pressed for time.

Megurogawa (目黒川)

I rode by this river literally hundreds of times last year when I was riding the Toyoko Line into Tokyo for work and always thought it looked like a nice spot, but I had no idea what a great way to end the night this would be. I've seen pictures during the day which looked very nice, but the real charm of this location is that it is one of the better spots to check out the sakura at night. We got there right about at dusk and stayed for quite a while to take it all in.

The place is a 1-2km stretch with paths along both sides of the river, going basically between Naka-meguro station on the Toyoko Line and Ikejiri Ohashi station on the Denentoshi Line - starting at either end is ok, the Naka-meguro end is more packed and the Ikejiri end is almost dead, but it's quite a walk from one end to the other. This one definitely ranks high on my list and is definitely worth another visit.

Chidori ga Fuchi (千鳥ヶ淵)

I definitely saved the best for last here - this is the best place to view sakura I've seen in Tokyo yet (not to be confused with hanamis... this place is better without liquid enhancements). It's basically right outside the Imperial Palace, where a plethora of sakura trees line the northern side of the moat. During the day you can rent boats to ride right into the trees hanging down into the water, and the view at night is just phenomenal. If you want to see the sakura in all their glory and can only go to one spot in Tokyo, make it this one.

The only downside - I just wished I would've realized it was there earlier! The best area is right around the corner from the Budokan and Yasukuni Shrine, across from Kudanshita station again.

There are still a few places worth seeing that I didn't stop by - Ueno is definitely worth seeing again (this time with a camera), and I am definitely checking out Rokugien next year... if I don't just decide to do like a friend of mine did this year and head down to Kyoto.

Ok, well there were also some sakura down in Kawasaki Daishi this past weekend, but I was there to see other things - things which I shall save for next post. :P

To Work or WBC, and Fake Swingers

2009-03-24T14:23:00.006+09:00

Everyone at work seems totally distracted, and I don't think it's because the two owners (also brothers) had an escalated altercation that broke into fisticuffs last night (true story).

No, I would have to say that it's because about half the people currently in the office are closely huddled in front of the tv by the entrance watching the World Baseball Classic. They told me that yesterday Japan beat the US in the semis, but personally I could care less... I'm more interested in the NCAA tournament, even if my team's already out. If you don't care about either I won't hold it against you. As much as I'd like to ignore it, I guess it really is true that Japanese love their baseball, and even more so than they do soccer.

This brings to mind something only tangentially related but that has always struck me as funny - the fake swing. Whether it be a fake golf swing or a bat swing, you will see people doing practice swings all over the place here, from the office to the train platform. Don't believe me? Well there's even a poster about it. This guy has an umbrella, but you'll see it more often than not totally empty-handed, and in addition to the baseball/golf swing you may see a budding pitcher practicing his curve ball depending on who you watch.

What prompts this you might ask? A trip to any school sports club will provide the answer. I first ran into this back as an exchange student when a friend joined the tennis club - he told me that for beginners they actually have you just swing at air 100 times to practice your form before you're "ready" to step up and hit a ball! Who knows how long it'll take you hitting a ball before you're ready to actually take on an opponent, maybe years.

You may be thinking that this happens in baseball practices all over the world, and indeed my capoeira instructor harps about form when we practice as well. But if you think this and you haven't seen Japanese people practice then you don't know what I'm talking about - they can just practice swinging for hours without playing a real match or scrimmage, which to me is like making a cake and then not eating it. They are obsessed with proper form and will take it to the utmost extreme. I don't know if their desire for perfection before they even get started is admirable or masochistic, but at times I think it's a little from column A and a little from column B. It'd certainly take all the fun out of sports to me. I guess it's better than having them read a book about how to hit a ball, but I still think the best way to practice hitting a ball is to... hit a ball. With someone, preferably in a situation somewhat gamelike. Call me a purist. :P

Heading home!

2009-03-24T11:25:00.002+09:00

Ok well I haven't made any official announcements on here yet, so for those of you that don't know I'll be back home next month for 3 whole weeks! The dates are April 14th to May 4th, so mark your calendars and stop by to say hi.

It's so great getting home to see people... although I must admit that I think a month or so of 'home' is about all I could take before I'm ready to come running back to Japan.

English Company Names in Japan

2009-03-23T17:37:00.008+09:00

Ok in hindsight this sounds rather snide and ranty, but I still think it's a valid question... maybe I'm just a tad bitter lately, so just let me get it out of my system and I'll get back to talking about pretty flowers in no time. :P

So I'm sitting in my office, and listening to the guy next to me make a phone call - rather mundane occurrence, really. What stands out about this is that just about anytime someone from my current work environment introduces themselves as from our company they invariably have to repeat the name several times. Are our phones broken? Do I work in an office full of low-talkers? No, it's because our name is in English - not only that, but it also includes a 'v' in the name, which the majority of Japanese people can't even pronounce.

Actually since I'm in a venture capital office, we actually have 4 companies under the same roof, and all 4 of them are named in English - I have to bite my lip sometimes to keep from laughing when one guy sitting across from me calls people as his company name has the word 'primitive' in it... try getting your average salaryman to pronounce that one! I think his record was about 15 seconds trying to get the guy on the other end to understand this one word. At least the name of the one company has words that you can easily explain in Japanese (時のタイム, "time as in [time]"), but still how eschew is their logic that an English name that their clientele can't even pronounce is a good idea?

Don't get me wrong, I understand the general concept: English is cool because it's foreign and exotic. This concept has sold kanji t-shirts and tattoos in English-land, and holds equally as true for English in Japan as I'm sure a quick search of "Engrish" will tell you. So ok, anyone who gets a tattoo they can't read is an idiot, but at least with t-shirts I can understand that maybe appearance is more important to some people than clarity of message is. I mean afterall, it's just a watered down version of fashion, right?

But we're talking company names for a marketing firm here, which should be all about name recognition. That's all well and fine that you've got a nice, spiffy English name that looks all cool with it's Romanized characters and bold font, but how recognizable is a name that the majority of your customer base can't even pronounce? The sad thing here is that I'm not even totally sure that it does negatively effect their name recognition, would just boggle my mind even more. I'm sure many Japanese would think it's just as acceptable as a 5-year old girl wearing a shirt that reads "I'm a MILF", which I've also seen. And what makes it even funnier is that I guarantee you that the person who came up with the company name (in this isolated case, at least) couldn't pronounce the name and didn't know what it meant when he made the name as the only other 2 people I know of in the office that speak any English at all came here long afterwards - this one was obviously plucked out of a dictionary and picked because it sounded cool.

Yet another unfortunate case where oft times Japan falls into the trap of form before function.

Cherry Blossoms: Millenium Edition

2009-03-13T16:57:00.003+09:00

Ok this is the real deal: Japanese people do not mess around when it comes to the sakura. Every year I am continuously impressed with the fantastic weather coverage of the sakura blooming schedule online, and this year is no exception. I checked online for the peak blooming time around the country (which is always meticulously followed and documented), and found the next latest and greatest in superfluously detailed applications to more than fulfill your sakura quotient - the Sakura Simulator 2009 shown above.

The Sakura Simulator gives you a visual representation of not only when peak blossom is anywhere in the country with a quick search, but also what the country or any area you select will look like on on any day from now through May, which is when the last of the sakura up in Hokkaido will be done. As you can see above, March 29th will be a beautiful day to be in Japan... or atleast the half of it up through about Tochigi or so.

My plans this year are to have the obligatory hanami in Yoyogi at least once, hit up the Kanamara festival again, and check out some night blossoms over at Yasukuni Shrine. I love this time of year in Japan!!!

More PS1 gamers than PS3 gamers?

2009-03-12T12:06:00.008+09:00

Ok, I don't play video games half as much as I used to, but I saw this poll over at WhatJapanThinks and just saw it as a sign of colossal fail on the part of Sony in the gaming world.

The poll showed a number of interesting things - 1st, as usual Xbox is basically non-existent in Japan, but this time around Nintendo is totally pwning Sony, selling twice as many Wiis as the PS3. After following up the PS2 which dominated Nintendo's Gamecube, that's a huge turnaround in Nintendo's favor. This round was Sony's to lose, and they apparently did so with gusto.

What shocked me about the poll though was the numbers of people playing older systems - people still using PS1 and even SNES still outnumber those who have bought a PS3! Two words: you fail. The public has spoken, and the average person apparently doesn't care if games get any prettier. Nintendo was right - a more interactive gaming experience is more attractive than graphics ever could be... to the common public at least. Real gamers'll buy new stuff no matter what just to get the newest games, but then I haven't put myself in that category for years now. I still play SNES games (on an emulator), and the last system I bought myself was a handheld: Nintendo DSi. The last home system I bought myself... PS2 maybe? Had a Gamecube c.o. a friend who knows who he is but didn't buy it myself, and I've thought of buying a Wii but just don't feel like spending the money.

Now of course these are numbers for Japan only and have nothing to do with the US or anywhere else, but still interesting. I'd also be interested to see a heads up of home consoles against handhelds, or even just a similar poll on handhelds that you could compare to this home console one.

For another fact you may not know, the former president of Nintendo was the richest man in Japan last year at 7.8billion USD on the strength of Wii sales, but thanks to the shit economy has been downgraded to be worth a mere 4.5billion and 3rd richest.

The exporting of Japanese culture

2009-03-10T16:51:00.010+09:00

In doing some researching for my job (for the moment), I've noticed what to me at least is a disturbing although not entirely startling trend.

It started with nihonshu, which you probably know as sake. Looking at the market and export numbers it's gained quite a bit of popularity abroad lately, especially in the US as a trendy drink that's more "cultured." It's caught on easier in the US than Europe since the latter is more strongly dominated by wine culture, but is still seeing more and more growth in larger cities around the world such as NYC, London, Seoul and Shanghai. France is pretty slow to catch onto this because they are still firmly ensconced in their own culture of cheese and wine apparently. Export figures have steadily risen on the strength of the market in the US doubling in the past 5 years and tripling over the past 10.

Contrast this with nihonshu sales in Japan, which have fallen steadily over the same periods. The younger Japanese sees nihonshu as too old school and out of fashion, and even the older folks are starting to shift more towards drinking shochu, the other indigineous drink of Japan. It has Chinese/Korean roots and is actually marketed as soju (Korean name) in the US, but local production of shochu in Japan is high and rising, while at the same time more and more people are leaving the nihonshu up on the shelf.

The most important names in discussions of sake these days also probably aren't what you'd expect. Some discussions I ran across of sake have foreign expert John Gauntner as the big hope for Japanese sake brewers to stay afloat - the thought is that for domestic sales to pick back up, the only way is to go international and show young Japanese how much the rest of the world loves nihonshu, meaning that it's ok for them to like it again too (translation: foreign = cool in Japan). There's also Philip Harper, a Briton who has become the first foreign sake brew master... the fate of sake may progressively be less and less in the hands of Japanese.

Then again today I was looking up numbers on bonsai - you know, the little trees that Mr. Miyagi made in Karate Kid. Like shochu this too finds its roots outside of Japan (China in this case), but Japanese made noticeable adjustments that set them apart from their original counterparts. Anyway, apparently producers of bonsai and related products in Chiba were really hurting as local interest waned, but then about 5 years ago exports out to Hong Kong and China especially but also the EU really started picking up. Exports doubled in 2007 and have grown over tenfold since the beginning of 2005. Yet again, exports step in to fill the local void in the market for a Japanese cultural staple.

I guess I could also throw sumo in there as well, in which foreigners seem to grab quite a bit of the news lately... a European won the Emperor's Cup for the first time last year, and the whole sport is a flutter after a slew of wrestlers get caught smoking marijuana (2 of the 3 I remember caught were foreign). I don't see how there could be sumo without foreigners now or anytime in the near future.

So what's it all come down to? Japanese culture isn't popular enough in Japan, so exporting it looks to be it's only hope for survival. Will it take the rest of the world to show Japan that its culture is actually worth preserving? I hope not, but if so I'll do my part. Heightened appreciation for traditional Japanese culture is good, I just wish there was more of it amongst Japanese as well.

Yes We Can!! A Last Action Hero... that we can believe in!

2009-02-15T15:33:00.003+09:00

Ok, this one's long overdue...

I've been waiting to post this one for about a month now! Apparently the page got so much traffic that the owner had to take it down for a while, but it's back online now so enjoy. Yes, it's that damn good that the site got slashdotted.

Some people will apparently make action figures of just about anyone, including the first black POTUS. I just love that term... POTUS. Sounds so much better than President and crams all that information into 2 succinct syllables.

Anyway I don't want to steal this guy's thunder, so head on over and check the fun this guy had with Obama: Last Action POTUS. Samuel Jackson move over, and Darth Vader prepare to meet your maker. You will not be disappointed, I guarantee.

Valentine's Day in retrospect

2009-02-15T14:49:00.004+09:00

Ok I'm going to recommend that my dad leave the room on this one given his history with the subject matter. You gone now? Don't worry, we'll wait.

Ok now let's get down to business.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and in Japan as with I believe Korea and who knows where else, Valentine's Day is celebrated by women giving chocolate amongst other things to men, which is traditionally reciprocated a month later on White Day (I prefer to celebrate Pi Day myself).

As such, I received a ridiculously delicious and addictive present which I must share with the rest of the world - are you ready for this? Potato Chip Chocolate by a company called Royce'.

I simply cannot stop eating these things... just writing about them and looking at that picture makes me want more. Imagine the crunchy, salty goodness of a fine potato in chip form mated with the sweet and creamy disposition of chocolate. It's an Odd Couple match made in heaven! If you'd like to try your own I can give you a link to Royce's homepage, but alas it's all in Japanese. Anyone domestic to Japan by all means order your own.

Elsewhere in the Japanese Valentine's Day world, I found this link at Japan Probe showing off some interesting candy:

That's right, Ultraman chocolate. I think the big thing is that since these are chocolates geared towards guys, who don't get as much joy out of chocolate for chocolate's sake like girls do, there has to be another element to it.... I wouldn't be surprised if alcoholic chocolates like those Jack Daniel's ones I've heard of sell well.

There was also a roundup of various asundry V-day Japan statistics on another site I check.

I dunno, to me it just seems simpler to have it go both ways on the same day instead of delaying it a whole month. Just seems like the confectionary and card companies trying to cash in. I have heard that giving of chocolates and whatnot do offer enough stimulus to start some relationships since some people are too shy to approach someone otherwise.

Oh God, here comes the yakiimo guy again...

Rio for the Olympics in 2016!!

2009-02-13T14:20:00.008+09:00

If you live in Tokyo, there is no mistaking that they are making a bid to host the Olympic Games in 2016 - there are signs about it everywhere with this fruity looking rainbow ribbon thingy as seen above. The nationalistic right-wing mayor of Tokyo has been fighting for this forever... since they failed to get the nomination in 2012 at least. Their competition this time around? Madrid, Chicago, and Rio de Janeiro.

Up until recently, I was rather indifferent to the whole issue and wished Tokyo best of luck - I mean why not, right? Well I'll tell you why not. You see, there's this park in downtown Tokyo - the biggest one, actually - known as Yoyogi Park. This place is amazing, and you can find just about anything going on there during the warmer months of the year, from bands, drum circles and performances to people practicing all manner of hobbies from capoeira and juggling to... stand up comedy and fake sword fighting choreography. You can find people playing all sorts of sports, and it is a premiere spot for hanami in the Spring as well as host to any number of cultural festivals throughout the Summer. This place is like my haven - a place of solace to protect me from going mad when I'm feeling stressed from living in this uber-urban concrete environment that is Tokyo. It's got it all, and I'm not even going into the full details of this place by far. Here's some videos I found of a guy walking through Yoyogi on a typical Sunday - check them out.

What does this have to do with the Olympics? Well I'll tell you what. They're talking about ruining this park to make way for new Olympic facilities!! Concreting over even a section of this party would be a travesty - I don't care what they build or how much added traffic and revenue this place gets, sacrificing this park is not worth it and I can't believe they'd even consider it... oh wait, this is Ishihara we're talking about, so yes I can.

So in short, to all this I say Rio for the Olympics in 2016!! I'll be rooting for you all the way as I think S. America is ready to host the Olympics. Sorry Chicago, but they've already been in the US enough times to give Brazil a shot and I'd like another excuse to go down there... besides capoeira, Carnival and the World Cup 2014 that is. Maybe next time.

By the way, BBC seems to agree with me that Rio is the right choice - there's a precedent for World Cup hosters to follow up with the Olympics as well: Mexico '68/'70, Germany '72/'74, and Atlanta '94/'96.

Canada: welcome to the EU

2009-02-12T23:53:00.004+09:00

I'm having a hell of a time trying to get hits on the board for this new website at work... the people who normally handle search engine optimization (SEO) have only done so for Japanese pages and aren't exactly fluent in what changes are needed for an English website. Most of their knowledge carries over, but it still means I need to put in some effort that they can't... sigh.

So anyway skip forward to me talking to this one SEO person about our google analytics account - she tells me we got a hit from someone in Europe for some reason, which I thought was odd since I had just checked it and the only hit I saw outside of Africa and Japan was in Canada. She pulls up the map, and sure enough I had to explain to her that it was in fact Canada and not Europe.

How the hell does someone make a mistake like that you ask? Well let me just show you the Japanese version of the world map and let you figure it out:
They put themselves in the center of the map, making them just as arrogant as the Europeans, and putting Europe where a Eurocentric mind might expect to find Canada. I guess it's one of those things that you usually just take for granted, but it does tell you a little about how you view the world. You can really mess with kids by showing them different maps of the world and how Japan isn't at the center of them. By the way, I think the kings of map manipulation for the purposes of self-gratification are still the Aussies...

Ugh... potatoes

2009-01-25T15:28:00.003+09:00

Ok, so it's Sunday afternoon and I was out late last night - my old roommate is moving to Sweden to be with my other old roommate, so we had a whole bunch of beer and sake in a huge karaoke marathon... after this and last week, I'm done with karaoke until at least Spring.

So yeah, anyway too much sake makes Doug's head hurt in the morning, and there's this guy outside singing about potatoes on a loudspeaker... ugh. He's trying to sell yakiimo out of his car, which I have no problem with, but instead of sensibly just going to a park or somewhere where people would normal gather like all his normal street vendor friends do, he feels it necessary to roll through my neighborhood and advertise by singing off pitch about how delicious his stone-grilled sweet potatoes are. What is this guy, the ice cream man? I simply cannot see people running out of their homes to line up for their very own sweet, sweet potatoey goodness. Geez.

There are entirely too many people in this country driving around with loudspeakers attached to their cars. First you have the notorious black vans of the uyoku and your standard political campaigners, then I've heard drivebys of people selling kerosine for heaters in the winter or collectors for big garbage items the standard people won't take, and now sweet potatoes.

Some of it really is ridiculous and unnecessary, but then again when is a loudspeaker attached to a car that's not police or fire department-related ever really necessary? I think "frickin sharks with lasers attached to their heads" are more practical than a black van with a loudspeaker - every bit as superfluous but at least more fun. As far as the political messaging goes, there's this stupid rule that you can't have any political messages or debates or anything on tv, including commercials, so these guys feel that the only way they can get their point across is to drive around with a mic and pollute the air with their bombast. It's like the 1950's out here or something. And who actually listens to these guys anyway? I can't imagine anyone hearing some old guy ranting on on his loudspeaker about... whatever and thinking "you know, he's right!"

For a country that screams up and down about how you shouldn't bother other people, this is rather paradoxically obnoxious behavior if you ask me.

What the hell?

2009-01-15T22:32:00.004+09:00

Sometimes when you're bored or just feeling random, it can be fun to just type random things into that search bar on Google and search away. I once spent an afternoon laughing myself giddy after a lovely search of the word 'ugly', both the web and images. Warning: if you turn off the mod filters you can get some really bizarre shit showing up in those images depending on your search.

Another good search is ninjas, which for reference:

are mammals.
fight ALL the time.
The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Anyway, for whatever reason, yesterday I typed in "what the hell" just to see what'd pop up. What the hell I figured. I never really thought about it before, but checking out the first link a bit was sort of interesting. There's this guy that's all worked up about hell being an invention of the Roman Catholic Church along with the idea of Purgatory. To him, "hell" is simply a mistranslation of a handful of terms, and points out a number of hellish facts that kept me interested for a bit. I find it interesting that so much stuff seems to be coming out of the woodwork to try to disspell all the mystique surrounding the Bible and Biblical times, and even historical documentation of the church in the years soon after - I like hearing about what early Christians did, and how Christianity has evolved over the centuries.

So hey if you're bored then go to hell! Where the hell is hell? I dunno, apparently some valley out close to Jeruselem or something.

Rent-a-Friend services?

2009-01-13T10:33:00.001+09:00

You would think that after a few years living here I would run out of stuff to be shocked at, but Japan is just an endless source of shock and awe. I was reading about the "rent-a-friend" culture developing in Japan over on the BBC the other day, and it goes much further than I ever knew about, so I figured I'd share my thoughts.

First, the story. It starts off with cat and dog cafes, where people who can't afford or handle actually owning a pet go to enjoy their pet time in hour-sized helpings. They even let you take a dog out for the afternoon and go to the park or whatever. This is old news to me, so we'll just move on to the juicier parts.

Next, we have the Campus Cafe, a new and cheaper alternative to the many hostess clubs and snack bars that have been around forever, but are apparently being hit hard by the recession. Now the Campus Cafe does fulfill every Japanese guy's dream of talking to girls that are way too young for them, but my faint hope when seeing the recession remark is that maybe this'll help J-guys sort out that they can just go out and talk to girls without having to pay crazy amounts of money just for them to sit down, and that doing so is actually more productive. Just to clarify, most all hostess club visits involve no chance of actually having a non-professional outing with the girls or even sex, thus it to me is pointless. It's basically paying $50+ (and that + can go waaay up) an hour to be teased by hot women that you can never have, and these places have regular customers. This to me is more futile than prostitution even - it's like mental prostitution. Sure maybe you can't get a girl to go home with you, but who can't even get a girl to talk to them?

They saved the craziest part for the end: the so-called Hagemashi-tai. This place rents relatives. Yes, you heard that right, relatives. Need people to fill the seats at that wedding or funeral? No problem. Got a dead-beat dad and need a replacement to help talk to the neighbors or take your kid to the park or go to that PTA conference? We gotcha there too. They even have a story of a blind guy that calls them up to rent-a-dad for a day to talk about his issues.

Ok, now I can understand that there are certain people out there that have difficulties talking to people and making friends - there are socially inept people the world over. And that sucks when you don't even have family there to back you up, so I feel for them there. But some of the stuff they describe towards the end just seems to underline something that's always been missing in Japan, and that's that they are seriously lacking in mental health support. They aren't very good at reacting to or even recognizing mental disorders either - sort of goes along with the "if we ignore it maybe it'll go away" mentality. Psychologists? Fuggetaboutit.

Call a rent-a-friend if that makes you more comfortable, but if you're having a rough time of life and need to talk about your problems, and your friends and family can't help out then that's when you turn to professional help. Basically though, with rent-a-friend you're just paying for a shrink without the professional training.

Anyway, again here's the full article if you're interested.

"Black" Obama

2009-01-12T16:24:00.003+09:00

Just thought I'd share an interesting spin on things that I feel more than a few of you will get a laugh out of.

So the other day I was watching the news with my girlfriend, and she asks me a funny question. "Isn't it sort of offensive to keep calling him 'Black Obama'? Isn't that racist?" Utterly confused, I tell her that that is in fact his name. You see, our new President's name is Barack Obama. However, Japanese makes no distinction between 'l' and 'r' and also doesn't really do compound consonant sounds like 'bl' very well, meaning that vowel sounds always get put in the middle. Thus "Barack" and "Black" sound pretty much the same when transferred into Japanese. I had to say the name in English so she could get the difference.

I can just see now that this is going to lead to a bunch of hilarity over the next 4-8 years.

Not quite what Doc had in mind...

2009-01-12T15:43:00.004+09:00

Alright, now I have always been one to push for Back to the Future technology - I want my flying car, Mr. Fusion, and 2-second rehydratable Pizza Hut as much as the next man. This isn't quite what I had in mind though.

Allow me to submit for your critique: the Skycar (full article here). The makers would like to take this car from London to Timbuktu, driving halfway and flying the rest. While they do get props being that it is a production model car that flies and for choosing Timbuktu as a destination, I can't say I'm totally sold. It's got a hefty price tag (50,000GBP), which is to be expected for a first of its kind sort of thing, and it doesn't hover.

This of course prompted me to search for the "Skycar", which led me to something I see as much more appealing - the Moller M400X Skycar. Read up on this thing as it looks absolutely badass. The manufacturer's performance estimates? Max speed over 300mph with fuel consumption over 20mpg running on ethanol, and all on the power of a bunch of rotary wankel engines. It's like a super-Mazda - Great Scott!! I'll hold out for this one I think.

New Pictures and videos.

2009-01-12T15:40:00.002+09:00

Hey all, so the first round of new pictures and videos is up for your perusal - this time from my snowboarding trip up north. More to come soon.

photos
vids

Christmas in Japan - the music video

2008-12-28T17:59:00.006+09:00

Again proving that some people have way too much time on their hands, allow me to present to you Christmas in Japan - the music video. Think of it like Spaceballs: the flamethrower, just less fun.

It may seem silly if you've never been here, but a lot of the things that show up point out the so very Japanesey things that happen at Christmas here, like the KFC chicken as a substitute for a Christmas dinner and changing the idea of Christmas lights to "winter illumination festivals". So very true and very, very wrong. That being said, I was on the way out to see some "illumination" with my girlfriend on Christmas when the norovirus fairy sent us promptly back home - ghah, scary!!

By the way, for any of you that may in the future think of spending Christmas in Japan then here's some advice:

Don't. Christmas is much better anywhere else, even if it's a vacation spot nowhere near where you're from. Thailand's nice, go check that out instead and come back afterward.
If you really insist on staying and have a Japanese girlfriend (really about the only acceptable reason for staying as I see it since you really have to have someone to share the holidays with around here), remember that everything is celebrated on Christmas Eve and not Christmas. This includes exchanging of presents, seeing "illuminations", going to expensive restaurants and staying at expensive (love) hotels. And yes, this basically amounts to a $500 Valentine's Day and has nothing to do with Jesus. Hallmark, eat your heart out.
Really, just go somewhere else. Just about everywhere in Japan (especially outside of Tokyo) closes down for a few days for New Year's, so you can't even really have fun anywhere unless you want to spend time with family/friends, which can usually be done better elsewhere. This closing includes all banking services, all retail stores, many restaurants... shrines will however be open and busy due to Japanese traditions of visiting them for New Year's Day.

So there you have it: Christmas in Japan. You've been forewarned. Oh, and if you're still not convinced that Japan and Christmas don't mix, read this. Now.

"Merry" Christmas and "Happy" Holidays!?

2008-12-28T15:37:00.004+09:00

Ok I know this is a little late, but Merry Christmas everyone. I still made this post in time for New Year's, so enjoy the year of the Oxen. Maybe the milk'll taste better or something, or they'll finally genetically engineer chocolate cows - that'd be awesome.

Anyway, so I hope your Christmas was merrier than mine as I was puking and pooping my brains out with a nasty case of the norovirus. Yes norovirus - you gotta love that the first description I found searching for details actually used the phrasing "explosive diahrrea and projectile vomiting." Luckily it only lasts 1-2 days, but my are those an unpleasant 24-48 hours. I'm now over it with many thanks to the girlfriend for helping out, but now am in turn taking care of her with the left over medicine as she caught it from me.

This means that we will not be making it up to Miyagi today as originally planned, but will be going up on the 31st, meaning no stopover at the Ono residence and a direct trip to New Year's snowboarding excitement. She's pretty strong when it comes to sickness, but we're both just hoping now that she'll be good come the 1st for that first day on the slopes.

I believe this rivals, if not surpasses my Chiba Christmas for quite possibly the shittiest Christmas ever, literally. That year was spent in a lonely dorm almost entirely vacated, except for me and Matt. With both of us rather broke and kept from total loneliness merely by the company of each other, we decided to have the closest we could find to a "Christmas dinner" - KFC. While that was both crappy and depressing, it was not quite as crappy as the 10 times I spent sitting on and 2 times I spent facing the toilet this Christmas.

Not to end things on a bad note, on the plus side I did get a replacement camera from the missus, so hopefully more pictures will be on the way soon! Happy holidays to you all, and I'll let you all know when I'll be getting home next. Until then!

New vids for the week

2008-12-16T22:09:00.003+09:00

Found a couple good videos that I wanted to pass along.

The first is about Chinese graffiti in Shanghai - very interesting that the cops almost encourage them in some cases as it dresses up the streets... some of the artists talk about how it'd be more accepted if more artists used Chinese characters instead of English, but that English letters are so much easier to write. It also says that they started off just copying but now many are starting to develop their own style - I'll be interested to see it when they figure out how to stylize the Chinese characters better.

The next video is just totally bizarre: Kei-truck drifting. I don't know how or why someone would do this, but I'm certainly glad that they did as it's hilarious! If you've ever seen these things driving around the streets it would just expound on how incredibly ridiculous this is. Needless to say, I love it.

I have another one, but it opens a whole other can of worms and thus deserves its own post, so hang on for that one.

An interesting take on Beijing

2008-12-16T22:02:00.002+09:00

I ran across this editorial from an economist (I think) that just got back from China. I really found his take on Beijing to be rather interesting, and it definitely affirms my desire to get out to China one of these days. Thing is though, as big as China is it'd take an eternity to see it all so you have to be selective... of the two biggest cities on the mainland, Shanghai and Beijing, I think I'd have to lean towards the more culturally-centric Beijing over the economic center of Shanghai.

Anyway check it out - he talks about how Peking Duck is made, the Great Wall, Buicks and Mao, the Olympic buildings, and Chinese hip-hop. Good stuff.

uggh... New "Kempo" Kid

2008-12-15T23:44:00.002+09:00

Ok, so when I first heard a few months ago that there was going to be a remake of the Karate Kid, the 80's classic that we all grew up with and loved, it put a small smile on my face. This was in spite of the fact that I heard that Will Smith's 12 year old son was to play the lead role... I was willing to give the shrimp a go.

And now this:

Aside from addressing the Miyagi’s casting, Smith also revealed one interesting twist on the plot. “We’re making it with the China Film Group, so it’ll be based in Beijing,” he said of where the modern version of “Karate Kid” will take place.

...what!? But, but... but then it's not the Karate Kid?? I mean seriously, how can shoot in Beijing and have a Chinese teacher and still call it the Karate Kid with a straight face? Wu Shu Kid maybe, but not Karate Kid. I don't care if Karate was originally adapted from a Chinese art, it still took in some Okinawan influences to get to its current state.

Geez... I don't get why Hollywood feels the need to rape all these good originals from Japan lately - first there was Speed Racer (abysmal and totally lackluster), now they're ruining Dragonball (ack!), the Kenpo Kid (blech!), and even choosing to let Keanu Reeves dude!-ify the classic 47 Ronin story.

I still have a slight hope for this one though...

Who throws a shoe, honestly?

2008-12-15T16:28:00.004+09:00

This just in from Iraq:

In the ultimate Islamic sign of disrespect, an Iraqi journalist has thrown his shoes at President (for now) Bush on a surprise visit to the Middle East. When asked about the shoes, Bush responded that they were size 10s. This is just so incredibly comical that I don't really feel the need to comment... just watch!

Update: lol, this just in - rally for "hero" Iraqi shoe-thrower in Baghdad!

One Inch Punch: cool Asian-ish art and modern culture site

2008-12-09T01:18:00.004+09:00

Just thought I would take the opportunity to draw your attention for a second to the "Stuff I check out" section to notice a new member: One Inch Punch.

This is an interesting site I stumbled across the other day that has stuff like Bruce Lee ping pong and ninja magnets... the other day they even had - are you ready - a monkey wedding! Ninjas, monkeys and Bruce Lee: how can you go wrong with that combination!

More than that though, the main point of the site is to show some rather interesting examples of contemporary Asian culture and art, from Japanese to Chinese/Taiwanese and even some Thai and others. I've enjoyed a few of the posts on there and think it's worth checking out if you have the time.

Here's some good places to start:

2008 Asian Beach Games Photos
Face Your Pockets
Chinese Illustrations
True Body Art
Nose Calligraphy

Belated Halloween pics

2008-12-09T01:05:00.001+09:00

Ok, so yes it's now December and all, but a friend of mine that threw the Halloween party I went to has pictures up now for all to see, so thought I'd share. Enjoy!

Umm... yeah. My neighbors are psycho.

2008-12-08T23:29:00.002+09:00

Ok, I just had the most random experience on Sunday, and it definitely warrants sharing in a public forum as I'm sure that more than a few people will be more than slightly amused by this anecdote. It may freak others out, but luckily for you the reader, you are quite well enough removed from the situation to not be totally irked and weirded out and simply enjoy it for the kooky randomness that it is. Note: this does not, however, make it any less demented or any better in my view, as I am more than just slightly annoyed right now.

Anyway, let's go back to a day that I shall dotingly refer to as Sunday. This particular Sunday was not so fluffy though - let me tell you why. So first, I get a random call from the landlord in the morning telling me that I needed to come in to sign some paperwork - something about the guarantor company or something, I didn't really catch it all as I was still sorta groggy from the Irish Car Bombs from the night previous. Ok fine I say, but then the weird part was that he insisted that I come in that day for whatever reason... small red flag goes up in the head.

But hey whatev, I take the afternoon shaking off the beer groggles and getting a few things done before stopping by the landlord's on the way out to meet a friend. I show up at the landlord's, and he grabs for his briefcase and we start going for a walk - now I know that something is definitely up, but might as well hear it now and get it over with.

So first we take care of the guarantor thing over a cup of coffee - apparently the place went bankrupt and they had to sign me over to another place, so no biggie from my perspective... then he drops the bomb.

I didn't totally understand the whole thing at first... basically all I got from his explanation the first time was him asking if I had any plants in the apartment, which I ironically don't since any plant put in my care will inevitably die from poor care. I say ironically, because I then took the time to look up the word that he kept repeating: 栽培. Once I saw the characters, I feintly remembered it meaning cultivation... wait, what? Things start to click - does this have something to do with drugs?? I ask.

And here's where it all comes out - apparently someone wrote a letter and anonymously sent it to the landlord's office basically accusing me of running a hydroponic weed lab out of my apartment - I hope you now get the irony listed above. I of course tell him how ridiculous this is, and offer to let him check the place out on the spot if he likes. What makes this a tad better, albeit slightly awkward, is that I've talked to this guy a bunch of times - during the application process, then he was helping me with my tickets out to Vietnam, and he's even called me when a plot of land opened up that he though my office might be able to use as a parking lot. So basically we're on good terms, and dude was apparently trying to decide what to do and how to approach this letter all week.

So he comes over and finds no weed, and brings a copy of the letter along to give to me. The strangest thing to him was that the letter came directly to his branch, which means that it pretty much has to be someone living in the building or else they wouldn't know which branch of the company to send it to. He recommended I take it to the cops and report it, as chances were that if they sent something to the landlord they'd try the same with the police as well. I did just to be safe, and the landlord guy offered to put his name in there as a witness on my behalf which was appreciated.

What is not appreciated is that now I know that one of my neighbors is apparently psycho and has it out for me for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I've had little more interaction with the neighbors than a "konnichi wa", and haven't been loud or anything, so even racking my brain I can't think of any possible motive anyone here would have to go all vindictive on me. Now my girlfriend is all scared because of this lame-o felk, which pisses me off about as much as the whole situation itself.

Luckily the landlord and the cops are on my side - the cop I was talking to this morning was basically apologizing on behalf of Japanese society for what he referred to as a mentally unbalanced person who shall be ultimately punished by God for his actions... I shit you not, this is what he said - it was great.

Sigh... I know my life is eventful and all, but what ever happened to events with a fun spin to them, like this or this? I can't think of one way to put a good spin on this one - any help?

Stop motion Breakdancing

2008-11-30T12:30:00.001+09:00

Good stuff:

Break Dance Stop Motion from ben wheatley on Vimeo.

Originally found here.

Dogs = the new babies?

2008-11-30T11:48:00.009+09:00

Ok, sometimes the way people treat dogs out here is just disturbing... albeit in a most-decidedly non-abusive fashion. Let's take exhibit #1 to ease you into this:

Now I'll skip past the fact that this woman, who's deceiving looks defy her 40-something age, is walking five little dogs at once (yes there are five), and move right onto the little guy on the right. He's in a doggy bag. I don't know if this is all just lashback from Paris Hilton or what, but you see entirely too many people toting dogs around in little bags or dog carriers, or even their purse around here. More to be found here if you're interested. Moving right along:

Ok I couldn't really find a good picture, but basically another thing that I find hard to wrap my head around is people that carry their dog everywhere. You are constantly seeing people around who will walk around carrying their dog places. What the hell is the point of "walking" a dog if you're the only one doing the walking? How are they supposed to get exercise or take care of their business? Maybe they're just poorer versions of the first woman above and just can't afford the carrier, but I doubt it. And finally:

There is just a disturbingly large amount of doggy apparel out there. It might be partially because getting a dog in Japan is so expensive in the first place (most people spend at least $1,000USD just to get a pet), but many dog owners out here feel that the natural coat that God gave them is not enough, and thus must be purtified and supplimented by the oddness you see above. I cannot imagine that any dog would enjoy having this shit forced upon them, and no it is not cute. Just stop.

My thoughts on all this have led me to believe that it's an outside possibility that maybe these people are starting to think of dogs and pets in general as child replacements. People are having less and less kids lately due to lifestyle and budgetary changes... maybe pets help them fill the void and offer a less responsiblity-laden option to kids? I mean think about it: these people are carrying the dogs around and dressing them up and stuff, is it too farfetched of a conclusion? You be the judge.

I leave you with a quote:

“Dogs now outnumber children aged 10 and under in Japan — there were 13.1 million dogs in 2006. As the number of humans shrink, the dog population is growing, research firm Euromonitor said, and so is the market for dog-related products.”

Financial Crisis in the Heartland

2008-11-30T11:25:00.005+09:00

I've been meaning to post a comment on this article I read the other week about Heartland (for balance a good review, and a decidedly not so good one), a somewhat popular bar in Roppongi, and the effects the worldwide financial crisis have had on it.

This was apparently somewhat of a golddigger's paradise- it was where the girls who wanted to pick themselves up a rich foreign banker/investor boyfriend would go to show their wares. The banker-types, on the other hand, looked to it as a good place to flash the skrill and bag a girl that appreciates them for their money. Now with the financial crisis, all the rich bankers are either not so rich or have left to go home when their offices called them back, or they were just dropped and out of work.

I personally think of it as the place where my friend, a decidedly non-banker type guy, met his girlfriend and subsequently made her my roommate for the better part of last year. Anyway it is (or was) most definitely known as a good place to go to meet people of the opposite sex... at least in certain circles. If this article is any indication though, I doubt it's very lively now.

Heartland - sign of the times.

The Art of Toilets?

2008-11-30T11:06:00.003+09:00

BBC had an article recently about the Japanese art of... toilets. Yes that's right, toilets. These things are totally crazy... the one in the story linked weighs in at a purported $3,000USD! And this would be above and beyond the cost for the toilet itself- that's $3,000 for the seat alone.

I don't know exactly which one makes it cost that much, but some of the crazy functions for this thing include:

sensors that raise the lid when you approach the toilet, including a sensor that lifts the seat if you stand in front for guys
glow in the dark seat
heated seat
built-in bidet
speakers that play classical music
a special tank that cuts down on water usage
monitor to measure body/fat ratio

My favorite quote from the article?

A poem recently published by a stressed-out salary man captured their comforting appeal with haiku-like brevity. "The only warmth in my life is the toilet seat," he mourned.

The caveat to this of course is that making these thrones a reality in your own house back home is difficult, given the needs for extra plumbing and electrical outlets that most American bathrooms are not equipped with. Sigh.

Yes we can!... in Japan

2008-11-11T22:12:00.004+09:00

As much as I'm sure I missed out on most of the excitement of the election process, what with being halfway across the world and all, what you may not be thinking about if you're in the US is how much buzz was and is going on about the election abroad. Besides being historic in nature, I think Obama has a good chance of raising the hurting image of the US in other parts of the world - check out this for what I'm talking about.

As such, this is one election that the whole world was interested in - if the rest of the world could vote in US elections then the vote would've been even more lopsided than it was. Japan is no exception to this rule either, and Obama is quite popular even if he isn't President yet.

First there was the town called Obama in Fukui Prefecture (福井県小浜市), and now there's this guy Nocchi. Nocchi is a "comedian" (a very loose translation for what Japan refers to as "tarento") who is currently making a living by going around impersonation Obama, which basically involved him getting a haircut, wearing a suit and saying "Yes we can" over 10,000 times. He even went as far as to go to the US to try and garner recognition as a look-a-like in Chicago, earning him a spot in the Tribune believe it or not. He actually got Obama's barber to cut his hair and got to shake Obama's hand after a speech. Personally I don't see him lasting much longer than the long list of one-shot, one-line wonders that pop up periodically out here, but I guess he's gonna ride the gravy train as long as he can. He's definitely better than the last one-shot wonder in recent memory, but falls way short of the best of them.

Here's some more video of the Obama guy if you're interested.

Shinkansen? Psshaw.

2008-11-02T14:17:00.003+09:00

Well, they've been talking about it for a while now, and it looks like they're finally making some headway on talks of installing a maglev train in Japan. What's a maglev you say? Well it's basically a cross between the Shinkansen and Marty McFly's hoverboard, and it's got a top speed of something ridiculous like 581km/h (361mph) - according to the link "imagine a commercial jet aircraft flying past at full throttle at ground level."

Now my feelings on this are rather mixed... the inner nerd in me thinks it's a cool idea and would love them to push the technology forward to the point of commercial viability. The technology has been around since the 1960's, and it's about time someone's making it work right. Currently the only working specimen of this that I know of is the maglev in Shangai servicing the airport, which from what I hear is a total waste of space and is actually slower than normal travel due to the poor planning associated - a white elephant of the highest degree. There are no really nationwide-scale applications of the technology anywhere... the why comes next.

The pragmatist in me, however, knows that the reason the technology hasn't really seen widespread use is because it's frickin expensive: the Japan project tops off at a sombering 28,530,743,199 Doll hairs... in Zimbabwe. Ok, it's 5 trillion yen ($50 billion USD), but that's still a lot. And this is just to connect Tokyo and Nagoya, which means it's still got a long way to replace the Shink in practicality. It will eventually go at least to Osaka, which is a big step up.

And the payoff really isn't all that much - the Shink will get you to Nagoya in 100 minutes or so, while Osaka takes a little over 2 hours. In contrast, a plane ride from Tokyo to Osaka would take you about an hour, which is roughly how long the maglev would probably take. Ok, so maybe it would be nice to cut down on the flights in the whole gas-guzzling, carbon footprint clean technology sense, but it would probably still be quite a bit more expensive than a plane ride unless they totally redo the pricing schemes and cut Shink prices.

And the Shink has been around since the 70's... ok, so maybe by 2025 it would be nice to start waving in the next big thing. It's no flying car or hoverboard, but I guess it'll just have to do.

Halloween 2008

2008-11-01T19:38:00.003+09:00

Well, another Halloween is in the bag. After the craziness that went on last year on the train, the police beefed up security to keep partiers from going crazy and breaking stuff while getting naked again. Seriously, I don't see the problem with having a party on the train if it's only once a year and isn't during rush hour or something, but some people definitely overextended their welcome last year and it apparently pissed a bunch of people off to the point where they may have ruined it for everyone for at least a couple years.

I am unfortunately camera-less at the moment, so it may take a little bit for pictures to make their way back to me this time - patience is a virtue, and I fully expect that this one will be worth the wait. :P

In the meantime, if you're wondering what the ad in the post is all about you can enjoy the lovely stylings of the latest and greatest Tokyo Metro ads here. I love those things.

Japanese Tug-of-War

2008-10-25T17:32:00.003+09:00

Tis a slow day... sigh. Anyway, apparently this is how Japanese people play tug-of-war. Enjoy!

Little red horsies

2008-10-25T13:19:00.003+09:00

Hey, look what showed up at work 2 days ago! Forgive the quality of the photos as they were taken with the camera phone.

Also, the other day I was pretty close to buying a '95 Skyline GT-R, but we decided against it because of a nice puddle of oil dripping from the engine. I will have one soon enough though.

Ridiculous rates!

2008-10-25T12:35:00.006+09:00

OMG, seriously has anyone been keeping track of the exchange rates lately? My job has me looking at them frequently lately, so I'm probably more up to date than most, but I'm sure you all realize the turmoil the stock market and financial districts across the country, as well as the world for that matter are doing. The UK, Ireland, and other countries around Europe have been pulling similar "socialist" acts as the US bank bailout, but all attempts to save the sinking ship that is the world economy seem like a bucket brigade for a 5-alarm fire. I've recently found that I have one friend who lost their job as a direct result of this, with very little warning and no severance of any kind.

I personally don't really think the bailout was that good of an idea and wouldn't mind those to blame for the whole deal to writhe in the filth of their own makings (e.g.: the people who loaned beyond their means and the banks that goaded them into it), but that's easy to say from way over here on the other side of the world. From here though, it didn't look like the bailout was very popular on that side of the pond either, signaled by the fact that it took 2 times for it to pass. My favorite report on the whole thing came from our friend Jon Stewart over at the Daily Show, with a series he calls "Clusterf#@k to the Poor House":

, shockwave-flash@http://www.thedailyshow.com/sitewide/video_player/view/default/swf.jhtml#!flashvars#videoId=186776" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/sitewide/video_player/view/default/swf.jhtml#%21flashvars#videoId=186776" id="">

Anyway, over here we have an entirely different problem - the Japanese Yen is probably the only currency in the world that wasn't hit hard by the bank fallout, probably since Japanese banks went through a similar crisis about 7 years ago and are already on the way out of the whole mess. While currencies around the world are dropping like a tactical nuke on Iraq, Japan's Yen remains the financially robust stalwart that is weathering the storm - the beacon from the lighthouse shining over these rocky financial times if you will. The problem is not only that the US Dollar, Euro and all currencies tied to them are falling around the world including the British Pound, Canadian Dollars, NZ Dollars and Australian Dollars which I've been watching, but also that many people around the world are buying Yen because of the security they provide, which drive the price even higher. What do you get then? Well you get 93.9yen to the USD when the rates were at 107 just a month ago, or 127yen to the Euro which was at 160, or 150yen to the Pound which was at 200. That is a full 33% increase on the value of the Yen related to the Pound, meaning that if for example you wanted to buy something from Japan that costs 2million yen you will now have to pay 13,333Pounds instead of the 10,000 price of a month ago.

In short this means that I as an exporter currently have a large uphill battle in front of me and am pretty much forced to weather the storm. Shit. Worldwide recession? I think it's a possibility.

Now of course the flip side of this is that it would be a great time to send money home... if I had any to spare. Damn moving fees.

Doug picks

2008-10-23T22:57:00.005+09:00

I would like to take this time out of my recently busy schedule to give you guys a few choice selections from the recent Doug recipe book - I am of course speaking of the drink menu as I have been stocking up the bar as of late. Besides the fact that I have a counter just screaming to be bar space, the idea is that a finely mixed drink should be easier on the gut than beer... let's hope it works.

Anyway here's two of my recent drinks of choice:

Caipirinha
Ingredients:
lime - 1 full
sugar - 2 tablespoons
pinga - 1 or 2 shots (depending on how frisky you feel)

This one is the national drink of Brazil introduced to me by - you guessed it - the capoeira crowd. It's both refreshing and packs a punch, and is highly recommended if you can find yourself some pinga, which is basically Brazilian rum. This is not to be confused with penga, which means something entirely different in Spanish/Portuguese... if you put a penga in your drinks then you've had too many and will never ever ever be making me a drink. Ever. So, a common brand of pinga is Cachaca, but in this case common may be a relative term. If you can't find you some pinga there are rum and vodka variations, but it's not quite the same. I was also recommended to use cane sugar if possible since it dissolves easier and more resembles the sugar used in Brazil.

So to make it, you first slice off the ends of the lime and cut the rest into 4 or eight pieces, then place into a glass or mixer. Slap the sugar on top, then mash with a big spoon or whatever blunt object you have handy to make a sweet and sour concoction... I find that a wooden dough roller I have works best. Pour the pinga in on top, fill the rest of the glass with ice and mix. If you made it properly it'll be more sour than sweet - delish.

Surfer on Acid
Ingredients:
Jaegermeister
Malibu Coconut Rum
Pineapple juice
...all in equal amounts.

I forget where I learned about this one, but I tried it once and loved it - don't worry about how nasty it sounds, it's actually pretty sweet and really good. Technically it's supposed to be a shot, but I usually just expand the doses and make a drink out of it. How could you not want to try a drink called "Surfer on Acid" at least once???

Usually about a double shot of all three ingredients in the mixer with a bunch of ice does it for me... shake and pour, clickity clack.

Some other things I've messed with that are tolerable are Tequila Sunrise with pineapple juice in place of orange juice - I call it Tequila Before Sunrise - and I'm currently trying what is apparently known as a "Jaeger Orange", which is basically a glass of good 'ole OJ with a shot of Jaeger poured over top. Not half bad I guess.

2 interesting Maryland statistics

2008-10-16T23:36:00.008+09:00

Yep, just learned two:

1) We are the most educated state in the Union, woot!! 13.65 years of education is the average for adults, yeah baby. In your face Minnesota!! ;P Hmm, I wonder if they count me as 16 or 16.5 years considering I took 4.5 years to get a 4-year degree, not including time spent abroad.

2) Starbucks:Wal*Mart ratio - 3.8. Now this one I'm not sure what to make of. On the one hand I don't really like Wal*Mart, so less of them can be seen as a rather good thing. Simply walking into the Wal*Mart in Germantown gives me the creeps now, and I don't exactly appreciate the smell I was greeted by last time I found myself there.

On the other hand, I don't really drink coffee or caffienated drinks in general for that matter very much, so Starbucks doesn't really do it that much for me either. I guess if I had to choose between the two I would take the smell of Starbucks coffee and products over the average Wal*Mart, and I would say that I'm probably at least 3.8 times as likely to step foot inside a Starbucks as I am a Wal*Mart.

On the 3rd hand (???), I've heard that they both have rather interesting business strategies... Wal*Mart has revolutionized the business of inventory and delivery as well as subsequently changing the face of the retail world as a whole, and is king of "streamlining" their business... sometimes at the expense of their employees, and often to the benefit of Chinese businesses/factories. Starbucks supposedly has an interesting management program and is supposed to have quite a high satisfaction level for employees... if you believe my hippie friend Jeff who (used to?) work there (hi Jeff!).

And finally on the 4th hand, they are both big corporations and thus I hate them both, because I'm white and this is apparently what I am supposed to do.

If you would like to know my new fountain of useless statistical wonderment, you can follow this magical link... oh yeah, and they're pretty sure they know who's going to be President come January as well.

McCain for Lizard King

2008-10-16T20:41:00.005+09:00

Ok, I haven't seen the latest Presidential debate or even read anything about it yet as I just got home, but the first thing I saw about it was this! Mike, I hope you got those Photochopping skills ready, because this gem of a beut is just screaming "Somebody play with me!" LOL

Original found here.

Modern Pirates

2008-10-16T20:25:00.003+09:00

For those of you not in the know, there is a slowly burgeoning faction of modern piracy, and I'm not talking about mp3s or downloaded media. No, I'm talking "Yarr harr, yo ho!", good 'ol 18th century buccaneering on the open seas Blackbeard stuff, although this time around instead of the Carribean, Somalia and the Red Sea are becoming the central focal point. This is much due to the fact that Somalia has pretty much been without a central government for the last few years and thus doesn't regulate its seas like all the goody-good countries do.

Anyway, I ran across an article on the Scurvy Dog phenomenon on a blog I check out every so now and then and thought I'd share. It appears that this guy thinks that things are really starting to pick up and people are starting to rekindle the old pirate society trends of yore. I for one am all for it, as long as it doesn't directly affect me in any way, shape or form. Go pirates!

Here's an excerpt and the full article:

These similarities have led to something closer to a modern pirate society, which in turn has led social institutions to emerge in modern pirate crews. For instance, Somali pirate crews have adopted a system for dividing booty similar to that of Blackbeard and his contemporaries. They’ve also adopted a system of social insurance as their predecessors did.

And finally,

YYYYAAAARRRRR!!!!!!

New clothes

2008-10-13T15:30:00.002+09:00

Totally random thought, but I was just thinking of how great it feels when you put on new clothes. They're all nice and fluffy and stuff usually, just how the designer envisioned them. Shirts are the best, but pants are good for this too. Due to the fact that I apparently have shorter legs than the average designer expects I wind up cutting jeans - try and find any pair of jeans/pants/etc. with a length of less than 30" and you will usually find a waist size of ridiculous proportions, such as 26" or 28" or so. Being as I am not a Barbie or Ken doll and have bone mass along to go with a tad of recently collected meat, this is rather unrealistic... hell, that was unrealistic even back when I was in middle school.

Anyway the point is that freshly cut jeans are the shit, and they, along with just about every other fabric of clothing start to loose their fluffiness with time. Maybe it's the detergent I use or something, who knows. Lately I've been tossing some downy in with the load, and I just picked up some of that Fabreeze spray stuff too.

Long story short, I like that new clothes feel and am desperate to maintain it so I am not forced to constantly buy more.

Trash blows

2008-10-13T01:50:00.003+09:00

Hey all,

In case you hadn't noticed by the posting time, my schedule is right back to it's pre-Japan levels now that I live 5 mins. from work and don't really have to show til like 10 or so... loving this place!

So just got paid for the first time in what feels like a good long while... after the move and splurging on a trip to Vietnam coupled with a month off work my savings were definitely hurting, but now things look to be back on track.

Now here it is 1:30am and I'm stuffing trash into these little yellow bags to stuff on the curb... stupid. I thought I'd mentioned trash in this country before, but it's totally frickin ridiculous. When you move into a new place, they give you a trash schedule, and you'd have to see this thing to believe it. Take this place for example: Mondays and Thursdays are your standard combustable garbage.

Which day is recyclables you ask? Well that would depend... if you mean newspapers and magazines then that's on Wednesdays, but then of course glass bottles are on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of the month, alternating with cans which are on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday. Oh and don't throw your plastic bottles out with the glass ones - those get tossed with metals on the 1st and 3rd Fridays. I could go on, but you get the idea.

I'm actually sorta pissed right now though, because last time I was all happy to put stuff out after checking the schedule to make sure I was getting the right day and all. Then after work I come home and find the trash still right where I left it with a big gash through the side of it! I do what any man would do when something is broken - read the manual for the first time ever - and find that oooh, you have to throw your trash out in their special frickin yellow and pink bags or else "they don't know what to do with it." What the hell is that? I mean it's not rocket science here, you take a bag and throw it in a truck, easy-peasy Japanesey (and I can say that). I refuse to believe that they are that moronic that they can't figure out what to do with a bag because of it's (lack of) color - just look at the stupidly complicated schedule that you guys came up with, and if it's bottle day *and you have bottles*, regardless of what bag they're in you throw them in with the other bottles. Same with trash. Simple.

You know I love this place, but sometimes it can be frustrating dealing with people that follow the rules to the letter without giving a second thought to what the rules actually mean and why they might have been put in place... and sometimes more importantly, when you can bend the rules and still get the same damn results.

I also remember the subject of trash separation coming up with a Japanese friend - he was shocked when he visited the states and found that we only separate into trash and "recylables", and concluded that Americans were not capable of dealing with the Japanese system if it were proposed in the US. I agreed that it would never work, but of course told him that it's not that we're not capable, it's just that separating to that extent is far too annoying and ridiculous for any sane person to agree it's worth while. That's what we hire trash guys for, right? Why don't they just do their frickin jobs? Sheesh.

A simple observation

2008-09-22T00:46:00.004+09:00

Here I'm starting my new job in like 9 or so hours, and I'm still up pecking away at a keyboard... sigh.

So walking around and stopping by the local equivalent of a Japanese Wal*Mart today, I noticed that there are an assload of kids and families living in my newly adopted environs. This made me think 2 things:

1) Lots of families implies that I've picked a nice place to live. I could care less about the schools in the area, but this means that the area affords me good access to daily amenities and stores - 24-hr. supermarkets and most of the things I need are really close - and pretty quiet, peaceful surroundings with plenty of wide open spaces and green stuff around (no, not that green stuff) are most definitely appreciated. It's hard to find good parks like this if you're downtown!

2) What happened to all that talk about Japan's rapidly aging society and all the problems associated with it? Meh, whatev.

Getting your license in Japan

2008-09-19T16:04:00.005+09:00

Okay, now it's time to get down to business: getting a license in Japan. I'm sure it sounds fun enough - not quite as good as some Jello pudding pops, but at least as much fun as the MVA/DMV back home, right? Ohhh, if you thought that was a pain then you don't know the half of it, mhaw, mhaw.

See now for some of the luckier amongst the foreigners here in Japan, getting your Japanese license can be a total breeze. If you just plan on being here for one year or less, then you can get by just picking up one of those international driver's permits at AAA for like $15 like I did at first. Only problem is, that only lasts a year. If you want to drive more than a year, you need a real license, and that's where it can get fun.

For the uninitiated, getting a license in the US is about as hard as beating my mom in a game of Super Mario Kart (and I'm pretty sure she's never even heard of Super Mario Kart). They should pass them out free with Slurpees at 7-11 or something. Getting a license in Japan on the other hand can be an actual achievement... depending on where you're from.

Remember driving classes back in high school? Well Japanese kids who spend their whole lives in Japan get to go to driving school to get their license, which takes months and costs around 300,000 yen... that's $3,000USD. They're guaranteed to get their license at the end of all of it, but I hear there's a 200-question exam at the end and you have to get a 95% or above, then take the driving exam. No cake walk, and takes a chunk of your savings.

Foreigners who have a license from home can just get it transferred though and skip the course. Simple, right? Wait, there's more...

So I’ll walk you through the process using my own experience. First, you have to get your license translated… but you’re not allowed to do it yourself, even if you’ve been translating stuff officially for about 2 years. No no, you have to go to JAF, which is the Japanese equivalent of AAA, and have them translate it for 3000 yen. What a scam. Oh, and of course this office isn’t in an exactly convenient location as there are only really 2 in the Tokyo area apparently… took me a good chunk of time too (at least 2-3 hours round trip).

Ok, so now that you have your translation, you have to take it along with your foreign license, your passport, and foreign registration card to the Japanese MVA. Now here it gets a bit goofy – they check your passport to see how long you had your license in your home country before coming to Japan. If you renewed your license within 3 months of leaving your country then they won’t even give you a license without an official driving record from back home… within a year and it’s the same deal or else they try to class you as a new driver and make you stick one of these spiffy “I’m a noob” stickers on any car you drive for a year. Shyeah, that’s gonna happen. When I talked to them, they seemed totally oblivious to the fact that when you renew a license they don't let you keep the old one and just expect you to carry it around with you.

Now at this point the next step depends on what country you’re from: if you’re lucky and you’re from a handful of countries including England, Germany, Canada (!!) and others, then you just pay them like 2100 yen or so and go pick up your license. If you are from the US, however, they group you in with the countries like Vietnam where people can’t drive and make you run the skills test gauntlet. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to argue that an American license is worth any more than just over the cost of laminating it, but how the hell did Canada get an exemption!!?? This is probably one of those things best not thought about too long unless you’d like to pop a vein in your forehead and die of an aneurysm, like how Celine Dion has somehow accumulated 5 Grammys over her lifetime.

So anyway, skills test. The place I went had whack hours for the tests… 8:30-11:00am and 1:00-3:00pm, no weekends or holidays for the initial step and Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:40am by appointment for the driving portion. The initial step is simple – eye test and a 10-question computer test with such mind-benders as “can you drive after drinking?” (Answer: No, unless you’re Chuck Norris) If you fail that then you either don’t understand English (yes, the test is even in English), or you don’t even deserve an American license. Oh, and even if you breeze through this, they've scheduled things to guarantee that you cannot get everything accomplished in one day.

Ok, so next it's time for the driving test. This test really isn’t that hard, but what it is is excessively anally nit-picky. They'll fail you for things like not being as far left as you could have been before making a left turn, not signaling exactly 30 meters before changing lanes and stopping on the line for a stop sign/signal instead of behind it. For this reason and this reason alone, most everyone fails on their first time excepting those that take lessons, and a lot of people take many, many more times, which sucks since you have to pay the registration fee of 2100 yen every time you take the test and wait until the next available testing date. I met a guy from Nepal (closer to Vietnam than the US on the driving scale) that said he was on his 7^th time. My girlfriend who lived out in CA for a while said she failed her first 2 times and got scared by the instructor laying into her the second time, then passed the 3^rd time after waiting like a year and taking a few brush-up courses for 20,000 yen or so. I myself got it on the 2^nd try – 1^st time hit a curb on their super-narrow S-section (nerves I guess), and passed the 2^nd time.

So it took me 4 days spread over two weeks and about 9000 yen, but now I have my license again! Plenty of Japanese people that live abroad, even if just for a few months, will get their license abroad and get it transferred like my girlfriend did, just because of how much cheaper it is… 300,000 yen?!?!?? Compared to that, 20-30,000 yen is nothing. Wow, just wow.

So here’s the finished product – I’ll be writing a guide to the process and driving test in particular as a project for work for those interested, just give me a week or two to get everything together.

What the hell is up with the economy?

2008-09-18T18:01:00.007+09:00

Could somebody please tell me??

I leave the country for a week, then hear that a whole bunch of big ass banks are out of commission or on the ropes... Lehman Brothers files for bankruptcy, the US government bails out AIG, Merrill Lynch bought out by Bank of America... what the hell?? Aren't these like frickin' huge names? Now I hear that of the 5 biggest investment firms in the US only 2 are left standing? Wow, we really suck.

This reminds me of the bubble crash in Japan in the 1990's... not quite as drastic (yet), but potentially disastrous if someone doesn't right the ship soon. I am sooo glad I get paid in yen and live halfway across the world right now... I have a feeling my money shall be staying away from the US, at least until things bottom out.

Speaking of which, any speculators wanna let me in on exactly when that'll be and what signs to look for? If not then I'll just assume that this is the end of the US as we know it and the terrorists have won. Pretty soon Iran, Saudi Arabia and Columbia are going to put all their oil funds together and buy out the US and rename it United Stackistan, the Confederacy of Oil Conglomerate Kingdoms (just because it has a nice abbreviation), then stick G.W. in a Saddam-like little cubby hole for a few weeks before having Dick Cheaney shoot him in the face, and hang Al Gore upside down by his wee-wee from a eucalyptus tree with a hemp rope and run around on camels screaming "I told you so!" in Arabic. Then Skeletor will rise up and take over control of the White House from the oil guys, of course renaming it Castle Greyskull. Dark, dark times abode for the US, and only He-Man can save us.

PS: yes I'm exaggerating, but that's only because it's fun. That is, it's fun when I do it, not when the news does it since they just make the problem worse by freaking people out.

Vietnam, in a macademian nut shell

2008-09-17T15:05:00.003+09:00

Ok, back from Vietnam and all rested up! Time for a quick summary of my impressions of country #7. First off, my 6 days took us from a flight transfer in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) to the beaches of Nha Trang, then up to Hanoi for a night and out to Halong Bay for a day before flying back to Narita. Pretty busy for just under a week, but unfortunately that's how vacations usually go out this way as time off in Japan is rather limited.

On the total opposite end of the spectrum, Vietnam is great if you'd like to forget about all concept of time and just relax. They're not too big on schedules out there from what I could see... or maybe that's just how the beaches work. In any case, a watch was definitely not needed or of much use in Nha Trang.

My top 3 impressions of Vietnam:

1. Nice people
2. Traffic in Hanoi
3. Crazy tropical fruit

Nice People

At first I was rather sceptical, as the big scam in Vietnam with expensive taxi rides from the airport that take you to their over-priced hotels was my first impression. Now while I say expensive, I'm talking basically of a difference between normal at about $15 to expensive at maybe $25 or so for a 35km ride. In otherwords, expensive in Vietnam is still cheap, and once you get the hang of how things work you can get around the ripoffs.

As time went on and I got more used to things though, I found that the people were in general pretty nice, although knowing absolutely no Vietnamese and their spotty grasp of English meant that while they generally got the gist of things, details were definitely lost in conversations. In stark contrast to Japan, however, while most can't speak English everyone tries, even if it takes them beyond their abilities.

Probably the best example was on the way back to the airport. We made a stop at the hotel we stayed at in Hanoi the night before to pick up luggage and take a shower - the plan was to grab some Pho before hitching a taxi to the airport. We asked the guy at the hotel front desk about a good place for some quick noodles... he nods, then gets up and goes in the back. I thought he'd come back with a map, but instead he brings a case of beer and proceeds to start loading the fridge! We didn't have time so I went to look for the other guy manning shop, who was helping someone out on the internet. Then the first guy comes back and says he's going to take us to a Pho place, but as it was sorta far we'd have to hop on the back of his bike. I've never actually had hotel staff escort me to a restaurant before, and this meant that we got to ride through town in the transportation of choice, a scooter. Not only did he take us to a nice place which made for a lovely last evening in Vietnam and fit perfectly into our schedule, but it also leads into the next point of...

Traffic in Hanoi

Amazing... simply amazing. This is one of those things you really just have to see for yourself to believe. By luck of the draw we spent our one night in Hanoi during the Moon Festival - think of it sort of like Vietnamese Thanksgiving and Halloween all rolled into one - which meant that the normal craziness of Vietnamese traffic was compounded by a factor of like 5 or so. The roads are packed with motorbikes and seemingly have no order to them whatsoever, and yet no one seems to drive any faster than about 40kph or so and I didn't see one crash. You get people riding on both sides of the road and weaving all over the place, with pedestrians crossing pretty much anywhere, and yet it all works. With the traffic and watching them shoot off lanterns into the sky for the Moon Festival, we sat at this one interesection for a good 1-2 hours, just watching.

Crazy Tropical Fruit

Ok, so there is fruit in this world that unless you've been around SE Asia you probably have never heard of in your life. I had this one thing called a dragon fruit, there were these others called mangosteens, some spiky-looking lychee things called rhambutans, and some wierd grape-like things with a shell on them. We had fruit pretty much with every meal as it was cheap and excellent.

---------

See, now I would provide you with pictures of all this, but unfortunately I lost my brand new camera on the last day, dropped in the sea in Halong Bay. I think I miss the 300 or so pictures I took even more than the $300 or so that I lost on the camera... cameras can be replaced.

Other than that I would say it was one of the most enjoyable trips I've had, despite having a cold for most of it.

Good Morning, Vietnam!!

2008-09-09T13:34:00.003+09:00

Ok, finally sealed the deal on my Vietnamese domestic transfer, which means that I will officially as of tomorrow night be on the beaches of Nha Trang, Vietnam!

I shall take this week to lick my wounds from failing my driving test today... not totally surprising since most everyone I know that brings a license from the US fails their first time out here. Once I get back I'll work on the "New Doug for 2008" series outlined previously, but as things are running tight here I need to get packing... right after I go pick up my tickets!

Quick note to anyone going to Vietnam: if you checked the prices of domestic flights online, know that those prices are only good WHEN YOU ARE IN VIETNAM. Also, you need at least a minimum of two days with which to procure said tickets, or else you wind up buying them through your local branch and paying the normal [insert your country here] prices. This means that if at all possible, you should stay in Hanoi/Hochiminh for 2 days and fly out on the 3rd to take advantage of this... if you can find 2 days worth of stuff to do in Hanoi/Hochiminh. My suggestion - do Hanoi and hit up Halong Bay or something.

Ok, back in a week with pics and stories!

Angola vs. Regional

2008-09-08T18:28:00.006+09:00

In spite of being quite busy lately with various random tasks, including some annoying last minute details on my latest excursion (to Vietnam - this makes country #7!!), I did make time to get out to the Brazilian Festival going on this past weekend in my favorite park in Tokyo, Yoyogi! For anyone coming out to Tokyo, Yoyogi Park is a definite don't miss: all in one afternoon you can get your classical culture fix visiting Meiji Shrine, then get your modern culture fix in Harajuku whilst shopping and oogling random weird people and stuff. You see the most random of stuff on the bridge from Harajuku station to Meiji Shrine, including the famous cosplay girls, as well as all kinds of weird street performers. That, and you can find just about anything in the park, from the Fonzie-wannabe 50's dancers and drum circles to soccer and frisbee to... those weird guys that practice their choreographed sword fights under the trees, and the guys I saw with quite deliberately placed trash can lids and signs on their bodies as they were themselves sprawled across the lawn - whatever your interests it's a great way to spend an afternoon, especially in the summer when the weirdos are out in full effect.

So anyhoo, most every weekend in the summer has a different festival, and this weekend was the Brazilian Festival, with my capoeira group was doing a performance right off the bat on the first day. Of course I couldn't miss it, but just for cathartic disclosure I did sleep in and miss the first 10 minutes or so (shhhh!!!). After that there was a free roda (pronounced "ho-da". It’s easy to remember: just think “hoedown”, but way cooler. Heh, capoeira hoedown, yee-haw.) in which people from all around the country and a few in from abroad even played capoeira for a good 2-3 hours. That was one of the most interesting gatherings I've been to in a while!

One theme which reared its head a few times over the course of the day though was a slight bad vibe between the two main schools of capoeira: Angola and Regional. In general, Regional (pronounced "hey-joe-nal") is the newer style and probably the one that most people are familiar with. If you saw someone flipping around and stuff, more than likely it was Regional. They came up with a sort of belt system to mirror other martial arts... it's more about form and show than it is about really being effective as a fighting style though if you ask me, but then the flips and stuff are most definitely fun in their own right. Here's people having fun flipping around, spinning on their lips.

Angola on the other hand is the original capoeira, just as it has been since the slaves in Brazil developed it way back when. It tends to be slower and closer to the ground, which takes more strength and balance. It's much more closed so you don't leave yourself open to attacks as much, and while there's still a bunch of whole lot of inverted stuff going on, it doesn't have as much of that acrobatic element that is so definitive of Regional... Angolistas are also much more likely to take the opening and knock you back on your ass if you let them too. Here's a vid of Angola style.

I started out doing the former and am now practicing the latter, so I'm sort of in the middle and can't really see why the two wouldn't get along, but apparently some don't agree. When I talked to some Regional friends, they would say how they thought Angola was boring, which I can understand since it isn't as flashy (the basics are harder though if you ask me). If you listen to the people in my current Angola group, they sort of talked down at some of the Regional people, saying they were out of control and wild... to their credit, at least twice some Regional player fell into the berimbau while trying some move, which is a big no-no. Still, the mumbling behind backs and all sorta irked me. If you watch them play together you'll definitely notice a difference in styles, but at the same time you can tell they're just two different styles of the same sport.

In the end, the maestres (teachers) all get along and understand how to look at the big picture and keep the capoeira love going... I think when people get to that level they can appreciate each other's respective strengths and skills more. I just wish everyone saw it like that... it's just another in the series of artificial barriers that human nature seems to love to create for no other apparent reason than to make unnecessary friction. Why can’t we all just get along???

Reminds me of a famous Doug's lyrics:

"So why does there only have to be one correct philosophy?
I don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them.
And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
I'd like to think that I can go my own way and meet you in the end.
Go my own way and meet you in the end."

-Doug Robb, Hoobastank (a.k.a.: the Mountain Dew Band)

Doug is not dead!!

2008-09-03T19:18:00.002+09:00

Ok, so technically no, but I have currently had no real internet access for the past week and a half, and won't get real access back for another 2 weeks yet still... and my phone gets shit for reception at the new place. This to me is basically like being dead to the world. I've currently brought my laptop into the (new) office long enough to catch up on mail and things.

When I get the chance, I'll be filling you guys in on what it's like to:
- apartment hunt in Tokyo (hint: nightmare)
- move in Japan (not as bad as apartment hunting, but frickin expensive!!)
- get a license in Japan (results will be in tomorrow on this one... work in progress)

I might be adding more to the list as I start actually writing as that tends to make you think of more. For now, I have completed my move to a place within Tokyo called Komae City, and from the latter half of the month shall be working with cars again - this time as an exporter at a friend's business... this guy has big dreams and bank accounts to match, so I'm hoping this will lead somewhere.

Until then...

Monkey sighting... in Shibuya!!!

2008-08-20T22:14:00.006+09:00

Ok, now tell me that is not the awesomest headline everer... I just saw this on tv and it was abso- frickin- lutely hilarious! There were something like 15-20 cops chasing this one monkey around for hours - with nets. No tranquilizers, totally low tech with the nets. I believe this says it all:

“It’s a monkey - it’s not like it did anything bad,” a police spokesman said, adding that the animal was still on the loose.

The monkey was spotted hopping around by the automatic ticket gates at a train line in Shibuya Station in central Tokyo at about 9:40 a.m. .

It then ran downstairs to the entrance to another line, climbed up and down a pillar and ran around the ticketing machines before taking refuge on top of a train information board for two hours, a spokeswoman for railway operator Tokyu Corp said.

Awesomeness... pure awesomeness. Full story with video footage here.

Nobody Sleeps Like the Japanese Do

2008-08-06T22:46:00.006+09:00

...oh it's true. Japanese people are amazing when it comes to sleep - many have the uncanny ability to sleep at the drop of hat once sitting in just about any moving vehicle. It's something you experience on a daily basis while taking the trains in Tokyo... if you're lucky enough to snatch one of the highly coveted seats on the train, oft times you find yourself shrugging a fellow train warrior off your shoulder as he/she attempts to fall into a hibernation-like slumber, totally oblivious and incapable of keeping from using you as their pillow.

I have personally been beset on both sides by slumbering riders at least once. This phenomenon is not limited to seats either, as I've had people standing next to me nod off and start wavering in my direction as well.

My theory as to the reasoning for this is a combination of overwork and/or under sleep. I know a few people that count the 1-2 hours of sleep they regularly get on the train in their daily sleep totals... they depend on this time to get the sleep necessary to be (sometimes barely) functioning members of society. Only problem is that this only works for working people, and you see plenty of youngsters nodding off too... my theory is still in need of some tweaking.

Another interesting corollary of the Japanese sleep phenomenon is that you will regularly find scenes such as those to the right on Saturday and Sunday mornings all over downtown Tokyo if you happen to be out early enough. If you yourself are on the way back from a late night, you are guaranteed to spot a few of them, especially in the notorious party districts like Roppongi or Shibuya.

Now granted, this is a situation where the majority of the populace normally are faced with two less than optimal choices - go home on the last train of the night (12:30ish... night just beginning), or the first train (5-5:30ish... past most people's bed times). Those who choose the latter don't always make it the whole way or don't pace themselves and wind up passed out on the sidelines, like our friends here.

I myself suffer from this syndrome occasionally, but in my case I make it to the train at least... it just takes me more time to get home than usual as I sleep past my stop, sometimes repeatedly. The worst occasion of this I can recall was one time when I got on the train going the wrong way and rode it all the way up into Saitama somewhere, maybe a good hour or so out of Tokyo and on the complete opposite side from Kanagawa where I live. After finally getting back on the train the right way and of course passing out again, winding up at the end of the line past my stop and doubling back again, I think I got home around 11am with at least a good 3-4 hours of train sleep under my belt.

By the way, the idea for this post was inspired by a very amusing community on Facebook, which if you are signed up for I highly suggest you check out, like now. All these pics are borrowed from said community.

Back by popular demand...

2008-08-04T01:14:00.003+09:00

Ok, I would hereby like to apologize to my apparent fan base back home - I have been asked by no less than 5 people in the last week when I'm going to update this blog. Yes I've been absent for the better part of 2-3 months now, and it's not because of a lack of anything new for sure... quite the opposite. There's plenty to tell, just not enough free time budgeted to updates here.

A few tidbits:
-back into capoeira the last couple months - good times
-moving to downtown Tokyo - more good times
-I'm now 29 - good times (pics uploaded)

The rest will have to wait until substantiated answers can be provided, so patience. Once the move has been completed it'll mean my commute will be cut at least in half, providing me with more of the sleep that my body craves more than crack but also placing me smack dab on 2 of the main lines in Tokyo for the uber-convenience that people dream about and I need. Hopefully this will mean more time for updates too, so keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, I've uploaded pictures of my birthday party on flickr - the rest can be viewed on facebook if you're into that sort of thing. Ok, won't be 2 months this time, promise!!!

The tale of two keitais

2008-05-08T21:57:00.007+09:00

So this past week was Golden Week, which meant a couple 4-day weekends for yours truly. I took the opportunity to take a trip up to my old stomping grounds in Miyagi, which was definitely relaxing and enjoyable.

The only caveat - I had to say goodbye to something that has been near and dear to me for the past year or so, my cell phone, taking with it all the numbers accumulated in it over the past year. Pictured on the right are the culprit (right) and its replacement, with a new buddy tagging along known as marimokkori, the Sendai version. I call him Date Mokkori since it's the marimokkori of Date Masamune of Sendai fame.

So what is this marimokkori exactly you ask? Well I'm glad you did, because you know I'm going to tell you anyway as they exude more awesomeness than a platypus's mammary glands. Marimokkori is this cute (apparently) green toy that originated up in Hokkaido. Marimo is a kind of algae they have up in Hokkaido, and mokkori is another name for... a crotch! As you may notice from his likeness to the left, mari is always rather proud of his bulging mokkori. I used to have a mokkori monkey as my keitai strap for a while actually, but I lost him. I guess monkeys are meant to be free.

Oh, and if you're wondering how my phone died it was rather abrupt and with no warning, but I do have an idea what might have happened... it was shortly following this incident that I noticed it died:

Totally, totally random. Ah well, this time around I got one with a SIM card and a memory card. Backups people!

Stuff you always wanted to know (but were never bored enough to look up)

2008-05-08T20:40:00.004+09:00

Hey, look what woke me up last night about 1:30 in the morning!

Ok, so let's talk about platypuses, as apparently my spell checker is telling me that platypi is not correct as I originally had thought. However, a little Wiki tells me that the "pseudo-Latin" platypi is the colloquial form, and that it would be platypodes if put into Greek as the singular form is. Anyway maybe I'm alone on this one, but I think they're cool.

So in a sometimes futile effort to stave off boredom at work when things are slow, I run across some rather interesting (to me) things in my random net meanderings.... today's stop by the good 'ol BBC got me looking into our nice and cuddley duck-billed monotrematic buddies, and oh my GOD you would not believe the fountain of trivial knowledge that I stumbled upon - this to me was like stumbling across the El Dorado of Wikipedia entries. For instance, did you know that a baby platypus is referred to as a puggle? Or that the males have poisonous hind legs and the powers of electroreception? Or that while as members of the mammal family they do have mammary glands and lactate, they don't have nipples? Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up... no wonder people thought these things were a hoax when they first discovered them.

So did I stop there? Of course not, because in explaining what I was looking at to the girl sitting next to me at work I found out that platypus in Japanese is カモノハシ ("kamonohasi"), which as I see it pretty directly translates to "duck-nosed". Makes sense. And the only other monotreme (単孔類, "tankourui") currently in existence is the echidna (ハリモグラ, "harimogura").

This means that I can now say things like

"単孔類の生き残りのたった二種、カモノハシとハリモグラは、哺乳類の一部である一方、卵を産むし乳首がない。"
(While the only two remaining monotremes, the platypus and echidna, are part of the mammal family, they lay eggs and don't have nipples.)

I guarantee that this knowledge is coming soon to a conversation near you! Man, I am sooo gonna be the life of the party tomorrow night. ;P

Japanese guy can't read... pictures

2008-04-27T02:55:00.004+09:00

Doh! If you think back far enough, I mentioned previously how genius the whole Ikea organization is, with their fun store and what I believed to be instructions simple enough for a one-armed Gump to put together... well apparently the Japanese government believes that I am wrong:

TOKYO —

The industry ministry has instructed Ikea Japan KK, the Japanese unit of Sweden’s furniture retail giant Ikea, to improve its product manuals after receiving a report that a customer was severely injured while assembling a chest of drawers, the ministry said Friday. The Economy, Trade and Industry Ministry has been informed that a man in his 60s from the city of Yotsukaido, Chiba Prefecture, was hit in the eye by a fragment from a cracked screw while assembling a unit of the company’s Mandal chest of drawers in July last year and has been suffering from visual impairment ever since.

Following the instruction, Ikea Japan compiled special assembly manuals written in Japanese, in addition to conventional manuals containing simple illustrations and brief instructions. ‘‘The explanations were not sufficient and we doubt that the accident resulted simply from carelessness on the user’s part,’’ said an official at the ministry’s office in charge of products accidents.

So wait, pictures aren't simple enough?? If you have ever seen these instructions you know how utterly retarded this is as a drunken dyslexic chimp could assemble this stuff with his feet while hanging from a tree, and the whole point is that the instructions don't need languages to confine them to one audience. I guess when people get older some of them lose the ability to read... pictures. Wow.

Yet more proof that governments can only screw things up, so it's best for us to let them do as little as possible. If we could lock them under the basement staircase like the trolls they are then I would shed tears of joy... I wish there were less lawyers and more Ron Pauls in the world.

More commuting misadventures

2008-04-21T23:13:00.005+09:00

Hiddley ho, readeroonies!

So yet again, I have a story to rival my former entry on my ongoing escapades on the Tokyo railway system. I can only imagine how entertaining these stories must be from where you are, all comfy and cozy in your nice chair in front of the computer. Well I'll tell you, it's a whole different bag of cookies when you live it on the daily... you snicker as I get shivers down my spine. Train lover's paradise my ass - the whole idea that Japanese trains are never late is a total and utter farce. Unless you ride the Shinkansen everywhere, then you're golden as those things are the bizzomb sheezy faheezy.

Anyway, let's go back in time, to a little thing I like to call Friday. Normally a good day, but not on this bleak and rainy morning. Luckily for me, the new station directly in front of my (soon enough to be former) apartment means that a spirited 10-second dash will get me from my building to the front door of the station, which is awesome because I absolutely hate umbrellas. This particular morning I'm running a tad on the late side, but am still just in time to make the train necessary for my transfer.

Or so I think. Now this is a new route compared to before, which is nice on the way back since I sometimes get to actually sit down the whole way home, but doesn't mean a hill of beans in the morning since Toyoko line is just as packed as Denentoshi line. So I get to the station and follow the herd up the stairs to the correct platform. My train is running a little behind, but no biggie. It takes maybe 5 minutes longer than usual, but I finally get to Shibuya for my next transfer and pry myself from the pole that I had been sticking close and personal with for the previous 20-25 minutes or so. They have these station workers there handing out late passes to show your boss so I pick one up, just in case.

Next train: Ginza line. In case you were wondering, yes I do have to transfer more on this route - 4 times in total, but this is less a 10-minute bike ride that I used to have to the station. I pay more, but that's the price for... I refuse to refer to this as comfort, but I'll just say mildly less discomfort. Back to our tale, I get on the train. It doesn't move. Apparently some putz dropped an umbrella on the tracks a few stations up the line, meaning someone has to 1) retrieve the little 300yen plastic special and then 2) run some dumb safety check for the next 5 minutes. Clock's still running, and my hatred and loathing for umbrellas is renewed.

See now really, up until now this is rather ordinary and mundane, but that was all about to change once I got on the Hanzomon line. Finally back in familiar territory on my old stomping grounds, I get on the train and stand next to the door as usual for my normal 2-stop trek on this train. The train stops at the next station, doors open. Then it happens: just as the doors open, I watch as the guy STANDING DIRECTLY BESIDE ME falls flat on his face with a loud THUD! Seriously, this guy landed face first on the platform, and it sounded like a slap to the face upon impact. He passed out right before my eyes and fell like deadwood, and it was just as freaky as it sounds. NO ONE did ANYTHING for a good half a minute... his feet were still on the train as his listless body lay on the ground with eyes still open and a deadpan face- and by deadpan, I mean this guy looked seriously dead. I picked up dude's bag at my feet and shifted it out of the way as I noticed the white gloved platform people saw the aftermath and came over to help. The stretcher was not far behind.

So what did the guys do? Well, first they checked to make sure he was breathing, then they picked his feet up out of the train and laid him out on his back on the platform, and then I noticed one of the guys talking to the train conductor and telling him to get the train moving - priorities people!! I was in total shock as to what had just occurred - as the doors shut, I noticed the kid (he looked like college age btw) come to in total disarray and obviously confused with no clue as to what had just happened.

Don't ask me how, but I somehow managed to get to work only one minute after the bell. And yes, there is a bell if you're wondering, and it sounds exactly like the one you would hear at a school here. I should write something about work rituals here now that I think about it, I'm sure it'd be interesting to more than just some.

So there you have it- I took a good 30 minutes digesting all that before I actually worked, but went on with the day. With things like that, it's no wonder people around here are stressed out and all... jumpy shall we say. It's no wonder that the same day I noticed a fellow co-worker, 25, has recently gotten his first gray hair.

I have never witnessed such a thing as the train incident right before my very eyes, and hope I never do again. As alluded to earlier though, I shall be forced to move in about 4 months or so due to my current living situation, so I'll be moving closer into town to cut my commute at least in half to reclaim some of the 3 hours of my life that the train steals every single weekday. Maybe I'll take up a new hobby... like sleep!

Things, but very slowly

2008-04-15T20:29:00.002+09:00

Sometimes, what would normally seem rather mundane can seem quite profound once you separate yourself from it and take it in from afar... like a moment of silence in a busy intersection, or a snowflake falling, or a child's smile, or... a chubby guy getting bitch slapped in slow motion. Some things are just cooler when you take your time and watch them very slowly, and this one, much like wine or a fine cheese, just gets better with age.

For even more cool things very slowly, check out the rest in this video:

Rain

2008-04-08T20:12:00.004+09:00

You know, I never really had much of a problem with rain until I came to Japan... I had no idea what Forrest Gump was talking about with his "sideways rain", and "rain that seemed to come up from underneath." Now I say that unless you've lived in some kind of coastal, island or tropical climate that you know not the evil that rain can bring with it.

Take today for example: it's been raining since mid-afternoon yesterday, and the wind today was blowing people's umbrellas apart all over the place and delaying trains. This isn't even the "rainy season" yet, which is of course separate from typhoon season in the fall. I've never liked umbrellas personally as it's a pain to carry them around and find somewhere to put them and stuff, but there are seriously days here where you cannot avoid it.

The worst though is that there are times when an umbrella just simply does not help whatsoever. With normal wind and rain you can tell which direction it's coming from and adjust accordingly, marking a swath of dryness big enough for you to traverse. Around here though, there have been times where no matter which direction I point the umbrella in I still get totally soaked with the wind blowing directly in my face... almost like it's coming up from underneath. Oh my God, Forrest Gump was right!!!

I still hate umbrellas with a passion and will resist them whenever possible, but if you've ever been in a suit that was totally and utterly dripping wet from head to toe then you'd think about it too.

Kanamara: the Japanese Peni-fest

2008-04-07T21:55:00.003+09:00

Hey, so long time no post... first I didn't feel like posting anything, then I was just too busy, but this one's just too good to pass up. I'll probably tell the full story of the past month or so eventually as it is pretty damn amusing once I can distance myself from it a little more, but for now I'll just say that the last month has involved a girl, a girl, capoeira, dancing with many girls, pajamas, drinking, flowers, a train, capoeira, more dancing, a drunk girl, more flowers, yet more dancing, a little tequila, a crazy girl, Britney Spears, tomatoes, another club, guys dressed up like girls, a shrine, and penis-shaped candy. If you got the joke mixed in there then you're one of a growing select few, and if you followed the whole thing then come and get your prize. ;P

So... now on to the main attraction - what you may have heard of referred to as "that Japanese penis festival", Kanamara Matsuri! For the linguistic breakdown, 'kana' is a variation of the word metal and 'mara' is a seldom if ever used word meaning phallus. And there you have it. If you're like my dad and can't even utter the word 'penis' in public or if you just have the attention span of my 2-year-old nephew, you can just skip right to the pictures here. Here's a little taste:

So is this for real you ask? Why yes, it in fact takes place every year on the 1st Sunday of April in Kawasaki Taishi at the Kanayama Shrine (金山神社）and has been doing so since the Edo Period. The purpose? Well, it's supposed to be a shrine for people to pray for protection from STDs... and from what I've heard young Japanese people don't pray too much anymore. Oh, and according to Wikipedia...

"...There's also a legend of a demon that hid inside a young girl and castrated two young men on their wedding nights before a blacksmith fashioned an iron phallus that was used to break the demon's teeth, leading to the enshrinement of the item."

Wow. So before there was Bobbitt, there was giant pink penis demon guy, interesting. Another fun thing about this is that people on the other side of the world are more likely to know about it than people that live even in Kawasaki, the city outside of Tokyo where it takes place. Most Japanese will stare at you in utter disbelief if you try and tell them about this, unless they're the type to feel shame on behalf of their country because of it. The cool ones embrace it and find themselves scattered in amongst the gaijin-filled crowds, grinning ear to ear with the rest of us and taking pictures as they giggle and chortle to themselves at penis pops and phallic floats. Lots of foreigners do show though - I went alone ahead of the roommates and ran into no less than 4 foreign friends, including a couple that has gone together for the past 3 years and counting! The people that run and come to this festival are more laid back than the majority of the populace though and have embraced the foreign element. The festival is currently used to raise and fund research for HIV research.

So what happens at this festival you ask? Well they have three main giant phallic symbols: the main is a big black steely dealy, next comes the one-eyed pink monster, and last we have the classic woody. The black one and the pink one get to play their roles being paraded down the streets by cross-dressers in kimono and guys wearing sumo diapers (yes I know they're really called 'fundoshi', but "sumo diapers" just has such a nice ring to it) in a traditional practice known as omikoshi. Alas I missed the parade due to no less than 5 of the items mentioned above in the intro, but video of last year's can be seen here. The wooden guy has a more passive role as it camps out and watches the fort, sitting there waiting to be ridden for a great photo opportunity. Again, I showed late and missed out, but there are plenty of examples floating around the internet if you search.

Other main attractions include the crossdressers which are all over the place and the erotic lollipops, with both male and female version to please all. There were so many people in line for the candy that the guy making it had everyone standing around waiting play jan-ken just for the chance to pay him 600yen for a penis (or pussy) pop (his wording not mine). I lost, but will most definitely be back for revenge next year.

Now as I noticed a veritable dearth of information online about this in English, I'll give a recap of the specs of this event in the hope that it will help even just one soul find their way to this wondrous happening.

Name: Kanamara Matsuri, aka "the Penis Festival"　（金まら祭）　

Place: Kawasaki Daishi　（川崎大師）, Kanayama Shrine （金山神社）

Time: 1st Sunday of April, with the parade starting around 12 noon. Be early!!

Getting there: from JR Kawasaki station, turn right and go down the stairs/escalator. Notice the elevated train tracks in front of you and follow them to your left to Keikyu Kawasaki station.（京急川崎駅）
Take the platform on the right labeled Kawasaki Daishi and it's maybe the 3rd stop.
From the station here, go right out of the station and you'll see the shrine which is just around the corner once you cross the street.

And with that, I hope to see you there next year! Mike? ;P

Once again, pictures here!

Stuff White People Like

2008-03-02T12:33:00.002+09:00

There are plenty of things that all white people like with little to no exception, such as:

I am white and therefore like all these things - if you're white then you do too, even if you don't realize it yet. For further documentation on stuff that I like, check out this link. If you are not white but would like to act like you are, look to this as an instructional guide into the inner depths of the mystique that is yuppie white culture.