Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Et tu, mother?

Ok, this one just gets a big wtf... I come home to find a letter from my mom - pretty standard issue stuff, especially for someone who hasn't quite caught up with that whole interweb thingermabobber, right? Well if you think so then just have a closer look...

wtf, my name's not "Doglas"!! This is the kind of shit you expect from random solicitors, not the woman you burdened for 9 months before causing her excruciating pain and pulling a "camel-through-the-eye-of-a-needle" trick, only to cause her more angst and suffering over the next 18-25 years of your life! Was it the time I sat on you with the poof pillow? That (repeated) time(s) I did a burnout(s) in your car with you in it when I was still on my learner's permit? Subjecting you to years and years of rap and loud metal? The time I... oh wait, you might not know about that one. *sheepish grin*

"Doglas"... sorry I gotta publicly call you out on this one mom, but it was just too bizarre to let go the fact that the person that picked my name in the first place, the woman who prides herself on good grammar and spelling and has inspired me to correct and nitpick at people on no less than 2 continents, misspells her own son's name.

It makes me wonder where you got confused... Doug gets confused with dog all the time here in Japanland, but you certainly don't have that one to fall back on. I'm certainly no "dog lass"... at least I don't think I'm a bitch. It is true that I am rather "dog-less" at the moment, as I don't have room for a dog out here and the family dog kicked it a while back after living the dog's equivalent of a George Burns lifetime.

I find this rather perplexing to say the least. I don't how I'll sleep at night... guess I'll just have to think up ways of striking back, like naming your grandkids cool stuff like Darth, or Megatron, or Hayabusa... or buying you a size 4 dress and refusing to visit until you fit into it. Hmm... Darth Durgee...

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