Monday, January 21, 2008

The most obnoxious 16yo in our lifetimes

Ok, I just have to post about this kid... you may have seen or heard about him in the news. So long story short, there's this 16yo from Melbourne who threw a house party while his parental units were out of town, 10 people becomes 50 becomes 500 and the cops are after them with dogs and a ghetto bird trying to quell a veritable riot of underage drunkards pillaging the streets. The aftermath? 20,000AD in fines and a helluva lot of explaining to do when the 'rents get home.

Words cannot describe how comical this is... a kid has a party that gets so out of hand that it makes national, nay international news??? Do yourself a favor and strap yourself in for the next 3:26, because you need to watch this video right now... and then maybe click on some of the follow-up ones that are linked, which are almost as funny. Is this really real???

PS: Terps beat #1 UNC- WOOOO!!! ...and I want those glasses, bad.

Mr. T in the 'Pan???

So I have come across what I consider to be a quite amazing discovery over the past week or so- Japanese people know and love Mr. T!!!! The thing is, they don't actually know that they love him... allow me to explain.

Recently, I've been walking around with the cover of Pity the Fool, Season 1 (the one with the felt on the cover - you need this NOW if you don't have it already) as the wallpaper on my spiffy high-res Japanese cell phone display. This usually gets at least a nice smirk on my face, but there are times that I just totally forget it's there and open the display only to be unable to control the ensuing fit of laughter. Priceless.

So obviously people are going to ask me what I'm laughing at, or I'll just preempt this inevitability and feel compelled to share some of the coolest American culture ever to wear a mohawk and 300 lbs of gold chains. Some laugh (ok most), some give me weird looks (what's new), but the best reaction was the one I received the other day... "oh, the guy from the A-Team!" whawhawhaaat!!! As I delve deeper into this matter like it were a nice hearty bowl of cheese and spinach dip, I find that in fact the A-Team was in syndication in Japan in the 80's!! Not only that, but this guy was obviously a fan - he remembered Murdock and Hannibal by name and that B.A. Baracus "don't fly on no planes fool!" So it apparently went by the moniker 特攻野郎Aチーム (tokkou yarou A-chiimu), which is funny because it's made up of the same word they use to describe kamikaze pilots, asshole/bastard, and then the group we all dotingly refer to as the A-Team. This means that basically the Japanese name means "Crazy bastard A-team"... wrap your head around that one for a minute if you will. I only wish that American writers had thought of it first. He said people used to go around calling people A-yarous and stuff even! But- couldn't remember the name "Mr. T".

This has inspired me to look up more random factoids on the one, the only, the T. So I wiki'ed it. So he was apparently first a bodyguard for famous people, including boxers!!?? And charged $3000/day, and people paid it?!?? Ok, if a professional boxer pays someone to protect him, this must mean he believes that the guy could pick him up, snap him like a twig, and chew him up. Maybe Mr. T really does eat trees.

So anyhoo, I asked another friend today who previously told me how he grew up with Uncle Jessie, Uncle Joey, DJ, Bob Saget and the Olsen twins on Full House (man that was a surreal convo), and sure enough he remembered the face but couldn't place the name. I asked a guy at work that's a little younger than I and he didn't know, so I guess the cutoff is probably somewhere around 26-27 year old and up Japanese had the opportunity to see this gem of a show.

Try to imagine if you will the A-Team... dubbed in Japanese. I have a new mission in my life now, and it is to find video-taped evidence of this modern miracle in action.

UPDATE: It exists!!! On the Japanese wiki it said that the show aired in its entirety from '85-'87 in Japan. I found the opening (unfortunately nothing more though) on youtube after like 5 secs. of searching:

So yeah... if you didn't catch all that, Murdock goes by "Crazy Monkey", and B.A. Baracus says to call him "Kong". wtf??? Well I guess it does involve monkeys so....

Monday, January 07, 2008

Back in the 'hama

Ok, I'll write a slightly more meaningful post later, but for now I'm just here to say happy frickin' New Year. I'm back in Japan, at least in body, although I still feel like I'm about to keel over from jetlag after the day's work.

Before I pass out, a random thought for you to ponder which, in lieu of some primo drugs possibly only severe sleep deprivation can provide: why are cows sacred in India? I mean, out of all the animals they have, why pick the bovine? If it were me, I'd go with either an elephant or a tiger.

Let's weigh the options here: first cows. Ok, so I think we all know that cows are big dumb animals that'll eat their own shit if you don't stop them, which is totally disgusting. They are also quite tasty in their own right and provide me milk, which when combined with Kahlua and vodka forms the Voltron of drinks, none other than the almighty White Russian (has anyone ever met a Black Russian btw? Just curious). So I say that's at least like 2 or 3 reasons against cows without me even really trying - I'm not revering something that dumb and tasty when I could be clubbing it over the head and eating it. How the hell can you worship something that sits in a field and eats grass all day??

Now the flip side of the coin - what about the options? Elephants are supposed to be pretty smart I think... or at least have a good memory. They can do tricks and join circuses, and the pink ones can fly. I've also seen them help people celebrate what looks to be the most awesomest New Year's celebration evar, Songkran! That's one of those things I want to witness before I die, so mental association with this is automatic cool points for the elephants and their Lord of the Rings counterparts the oliphant. In fact, the fact that they made an LoTR appearance is another point! I also recently heard from a friend that apparently you can find our long-nosed friends occasionally frolicking and cavorting about on the highways of New Delhi. Finally, I don't know if they're tasty or not, but I've never heard of people lining up to bite into an elephant steak so I'm gonna go with "not as good as cows."

And now tigers, which I believe to be the most regal of the bunch. Tigers are fearsome predators which any Indian jungle-goers would know need to be respected. They look damn cool and downright majestic... good enough to worship? Well, better than a cow. Tigers are more likely to eat stuff than be eaten since they graze on cows and elephants, not grass. Tigers are just frickin' cool - you know you wanted to check out the tigers when you visited the local zoo as a kid.

So there you have it - any idea why Indians worship cows and not tigers? Respect the almighty tigers and elephants!!!