My birthday, interviews, and crowded trains

Ok, so it's no longer my birthday... or birth month since I usually take at least a month or so to celebrate it properly. Although I am currently busier than the Pope on Christmas, I did somehow manage to still keep my non-working on my birthday streak alive and spend some time down in Tokyo before the fiasco that has been the last couple days. Yes that's right - I have never worked, nor gone to school on my birthday. Ever.

So my thought of yesterday that I never got around to posting: riding a crowded train can be cool sometimes. You see, on my birthday I wound up somewhere way the hell out in the middle of nowhere in Chiba to go have all the yakiniku I could eat. Between 6 people we wound up eating 12 pizza-sized dishes of meat, after which I felt like swearing off meat (for at least a week) and knew that no one would want to be anywhere near my smelly poop the next day. Anyway... since I was staying in Yokohama and dinner ended around 9, I knew that this meant I'd be cutting it close getting back, and I was right. I somehow magically caught one of the last express trains going out of Shibuya in my direction, which means one thing and one thing only: crowded trains.

I could definitely see how doing so on a daily basis would become tiresome after a very short period of time, but once in a while catching one of those last trains with your right arm forcibly pressed firmly against your chest and seeing people standing on the other side of the doors waiting for the next train since they know they won't fit is somehow exhilarating. Sure you have no space to yourself, but looking around you can almost feel a certain sense of camaraderie peering into the eyes of your fellow midnight train warriors. On this particular sojourn, there was a couple next to me lovingly sharing a moment in each others' arms as another group of youngsters were grinning ear to ear reliving the night's escapades in nearby Shibuya. Their faces gleamed with a certain sense of satisfaction, which I'd like to think I was quietly sharing in myself.

Besides it being my birthday, I had also just gotten back from a most bizarre interview. I didn't apply for the job - the guy emailed me, and asked me in to talk about things, to which I obliged. I was already in town since I had work-related business in the area the next day anyway, so I figured what the hey. The whole thing sort of felt in parts like the onus was upon his shoulders to impress upon me a sense of urgency to take the position, instead of me showing him that indeed I was the man for the job as is normally the case. I don't plan on taking the job either way, but it made for an interesting afternoon.

So that was pretty much my birthday this year in a nutshell: interview, yakiniku, trains.

Bond, James Bond. In Japan!

So the enigmatic job title that I currently hold is CIR, short for Coordinator of International Relations. The title is purposely vague because you never know what might come with it - some translate and interpret all day while I run beach parties and wine tastings, with some English and culture classes thrown in there for variety. I've also recently given a speech about Maryland and attended a couple wedding parties held at work as a sort of liaison of sorts and will also get to go to a concert, a beer factory tour (beer garden visit included), and a baseball game when I'm showing a delegation around in a few weeks as interpreter and tour coordinator.

However, this all pales in comparison to this:

That's right, Bond! A CIR down in Kagawa Prefecture is parading around like Bond on tv and events in this Bond-obsessed area in attempts to persuade the Bond people to shoot their next movie there. Apparently there was a Bond book which features this prefecture in its climax, so they've petitioned for it and do all sorts of Bond events, including picking a local Bond girl to parade around with our young hero, Andrew Cockburn. Lucky bastard.

Now don't get me wrong - the cosplay photo shoots and hula dancing randomness of Shichigahama is cool, and I've been on tv and in print a few times myself, but this is one job that I think anyone could enjoy. Sad thing is though, I'm sure they picked a Brit specifically, and photos come with the applications so I'm sure they screened for that as well. Sometimes being blond sucks... but then there's the rest of the time, so I'll be ok.

By the way, there's vids and all here if you missed it above, so by all means check it out.

And here's a personal account from the lucky bastard himself from the CIR forums:

When I first arrived in Kagawa, there was already quite a lot of 007 stuff going on. The latest (absolutely awful) 007 novel is called "The Man With The Red Tattoo", and the climax of the book is set on Naoshima, an island in the Seto Inland Sea owned by Kagawa. In the book, there's a G8 summit on Naoshima which is threatened by terrorists with killer mosquitoes, and Bond naturally saves the day. When the people of Naoshima caught wind of this, they realised that if only they could get "The Man With The Red Tattoo" made into a film then THEIR ISLAND would be in a Bond movie!!!!

So starting in 2004, with the help of the prefectural government, Naoshima has been campaigning for the next Bond Film to be made here. So far, efforts have included an 80,000+ signature petition, the creation of a 007 museum on Naoshima (well worth a look if you go to the island - it's free and really cute), and several awareness-raising parties, including the one I participated in 2 weekends ago, with the theme of "Find Kagawa's Bond Girl", and one we had to coincide with the release of Casino Royale last year, which was called 「００７電車でGO!!」, and we all took a train to the famous temple in Kagawa, Konpira Jingu, and watched a sacred fan dance and prayed for the success of Casino Royale and that the next film would be made in Kagawa. Then on the way back we had an hour long booze up on the train with live music (a harpist!), and a 007 general knowledge quiz. Truly random. At the party we had a couple of weeks ago, they had me up on stage in only my swimming shorts doing fire-poi at half time in the judging, and then after that some of the contestants wanted to speak in English so I had to interpret that to the crowd still half naked. A cool Martini, shaken, not stirred was very much in order once I had that over with!

It's pretty good fun being Bond.. Every couple of months there's a flurry of media interest in the campaign, and we get film crews coming along to film me and Naoshima, and I dress up as Bond and point my replica Walther PPKand run around catching bad guys! Also at the last party, the final winner was a really cool lady called Sachie Manabe who just got back from a couple of years' study in America, and so is awesome at English and from now on, we'll probably being going on tv together quite a lot. (For instance next Tuesday we're off to the KSB studios to be in a news article!!!)

That's pretty much the whole story. The parties are really good fun, in Kagawa people recognise me as Bond every so often, and I get to be on tv as an action hero!

Earthquake!

There was just a rather large earthquake out here this morning - the 6.7 magnitude epicenter was on the other side of Honshu in Niigata about 150 miles or so away, but I still felt it! As you can see from the map so did at least half the country, but anything below the light green isn't even really worth getting up for and the white areas aren't even noticeable. They're still broadcasting about it on tv an hour and a half later, and there have been at least 8 aftershocks closer to the center. Videos they're showing are with broken water manes flowing through the streets and at least one or 2 older buildings totally collapsed... also, a few random cracks in the earth, and there are currently 200ish injured. These things still freak me out, so I'm really glad it wasn't out here!

So how strong is a high 6 you ask? Well Japan has their own scale to measure things separate from the Richter scale called shindo - basically, the difference is that Richter is based on the energy released and shindo is based on the amount felt in any particular area. Here's the breakdown on what each level feels like and my interpretation:

0: Imperceptible to people (did somebody fart?)

1: Felt by some people indoors (something's not right here....)

2: Felt by many people indoors. Slight shaking of hanging lamps (hold everything, feels like a shaker! this is what I felt this time)

3: Felt by most people indoors. Can cause plates to rattle (this would be the point at which I start to freak, as it's about the strongest I've ever really felt. These wake me up)

4: Most sleeping people awake. Unstable items indoors may fall. Felt by most walking people and some in cars. (this would be the point that most reasonable people would stand in a doorway or something - I'm still frozen in fear clenching my butt cheeks)

weak 5: Furniture may move. Books and dishes may fall. Glass may shatter. Could cause some structural damage in older buildings and softer earth. (Feels like Ryu and Ken are simultaneously dragon-punching the building, shaking it to it's core)

strong 5: Large vending machines and shelves may topple over. Driving becomes difficult. Some gas/water manes may break. (Vending machines may what??? I think I just saw Mothra fly by the window...)

weak 6: Difficult to stay standing. Window glass and tiles break. Doors won't open. Sometimes weaker houses collapse, and stronger ones may take damage as well.(Oh my God, we're all gonna die! Godzilla is battling Mothra and Godzilla just got tossed into the building next door.)

strong 6: People can only crawl to move, because standing becomes impossible. Most heavy furniture falls, and doors fly off their hinges. (Son Goku has just gone Super Saiya-jin level 2 - he and Vegita are in a battle of truly epic proportions that is shaking the world to its core. I think I'm dying!!)

7+: People can't move at will. The ground cracks open, landslides occur. Strong buildings take severe damage. (God hates us all - as Lucifer reaches up from the depths of hell opening large rifts in the earth, God's hand has just come down from heaven to squish Goku and quell the maelstrom, taking us all with him. After crapping my pants, I die... or maybe it's the other way around)

I seriously hope a truly major one never hits around me, but one is definitely overdue. Or at least so everyone keeps telling me. Then again, everyone was all worried about a typhoon that killed 4 and was supposed to come through here this weekend too. We got some rain, but if you didn't tell me it was the after-effects of a typhoon I wouldn't have known. Oh, and did I mention there were also smaller tidal waves due to the quake? Well, I'm around to live another day for now, but God still hates Japan. And with that, back to your regularly scheduled life.

EDIT: Just to update people, there have been aftershocks throughout the day of varying strengths, but nothing to be concerned about in my immediate area. The final count that I heard was 7 dead out in Niigata though. There was just a quake of the exact same strength off the coast north of Kyoto that somehow shook us here just as strong as the one this morning, but again no immediate danger here.

Here's an article on it from CNN as well as Japan Probe coverage. In addition to the quake, CNN also reports that the world's highest output nuclear power plant, which happens to be in Kashiwazaki, Niigata very close to the epicenter, took 2 hours to put out fires resulting from the quake.

I'm living on the other side of the world?

I've been out here for a little bit now - hard to believe it's coming up on a year. Now I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but I was driving down the street to the store today, and I just realized that this country feels entirely normal to me at this point. I'm not sure what you think of Japan, but to me I've internalized it to the point that it's totally lost that sense of exoticism... except for those giant flying robots and mutant hybrid monkey-birds. Seriously though, to me Japan might as well be New Jersey. Ok, well maybe New Jersey's sort of harsh - how about Pennsylvania?

Anyway, the point is that it's just another place, and although I certainly stand out I don't feel out of place. I remember when I was down in Chiba as an exchange student there were certain linguistic milestones I passed - my first full day not speaking one word of English and getting by, giving a speech in Japanese, watching tv and actually understanding what was going on... one moment that vividly stands out in my memory was this one day where I casually spit out a good chunk of lingo without the least bit of effort. At that moment I took a step outside myself and wondered where the hell that came from - it sounded like me, but what the hell? When did my Japanese get that good?

I guess today was sort of like that. It wasn't anything really out of the ordinary that sparked it this time, in fact it was probably more just the mundanity of the entire scene. Setting out on a day off to take care of some errands on a road that I travel everyday going to places I've been
a hundred times or more. I remember that when I first got here last year that I was more concerned with getting myself set up with all the daily necessities here than I was with gawking around at my new environs. There have been linguistic milestones this time around as well, like repeatedly being confused for a Japanese guy on the phone, or reading a 300+pg. Japanese novel, or understand what people at work are going on about in the local dialect, but I think to me the internalization and cultural adjustments stand out more in my mind. As with everything else in life though, the more you learn, the more you find out you don't know. Personal growth rules.

I still wouldn't go as far to call it home, but it is where I lay my head at night.

"Taking responsibility"

Gaijin Smash - "Taking responsibility"

Ok, politics time. This past week, the Defense Minister of Japan said in a public speech that he believed that dropping the atomic bombs back in WWII was an action that "couldn't be helped" (しょうがない）, which is not a very popular opinion in Japan. As such, he has since resigned. The above editorial is a take on it from what is normally one of the most entertaining blogs I read... somehow he got through the article without one reference to Transformers or Street Fighter this time, but I feel he's got a pretty good take on things and makes an interesting point or two. It is disturbing the views some of the Japanese public have on WWII - I really wish they would've taken a lesson from the Germans on how to own up to things and not try and make themselves out to be victims. Anyway as he does, I hope this woman doesn't get anywhere close to elected in the upcoming elections at the end of the month.

I'm actually studying the Japanese constitution in Japanese with my tutor right now, so this came up briefly in the last lesson I had in which we were talking about the cabinet. The current Prime Minister's cabinet doesn't really have a very good track record right now - from what I hear he's got an approval rating rivaling Bush's in ickitude thanks not only to his bungling of the pension system, but also the blundering lips of the cabinet members he's selected. Thus far, one minister referred to women as "baby making machines", one committed suicide, and then there's Abe's own statements about "comfort women" that's even made waves in Congress back in the US. My tutor mentioned that there's talk (but no proof, like they'd let that get out) that the Minister of Agriculture offed himself because he wanted to quit but Abe wouldn't let him.

Now Abe actually tried to defend this past Minister's statements, but the way I understood it he stepped down partially to keep Parliament from putting a vote of no confidence on the cabinet, which would mean the entire cabinet is dissolved including the Prime Minister, and that in most all likelihood the majority party would not get voted in again for the replacements. The minority party already wants one, but you need a 2/3rds majority to get anything passed... last I heard the PM's approval rating in Parliament is hovering around 35% though, which means some even in his party are losing faith.

Ok, that's it for politics.

Enkai 101: Introduction to the Japanese office drinking party

Man, it's so easy to lose track of holidays out here... I totally forgot about Easter and kept on forgetting that today was July 4th, and that that actually means something! A phone call from my bro jogged the 'ol memory though, as did a couple emails and convos with people throughout the day who aren't as senile as I apparently am becoming.

So anyway, last night was a blast - we had a big party for everyone at work since we just went through the annual personnel shift. As documented before, there seems to be absolutely no rhyme or reason to it, but these kinds of things happen annually. In my town they did it in July for whatever reason despite the rest of the country doing things in April. To show you how nonsensical it is, my boss got transferred from the international relations department to... ready for it? The water department! Because I guess they really needed someone who can give things a fresh and wide perspective concerning the town's water gathered from years of international experience. His replacement? A guy from the cultural policy department who's international experience includes a trip to Hong Kong and... well ok, apparently just a trip to Hong Kong. Oh, and he tells me he doesn't like planes either, so I think he's the perfect choice for a job that includes him escorting children on tours of the US eastern shore board. He's actually pretty cool, but it still makes no sense to me to make people with years of experience start over from square one every few years.

Alas, I digress. So office drinking parties - the Japanese enkai. They're sort of like Vegas in a way - what happens at the enkai stays at the enkai (except in this blog =P). With places like Shichigahama where everyone's close, everything's really relaxed since it's like going out with family. You find out all the dirt on people and watch people make total asses out of themselves. I hear there are some offices where you're still expected to keep up pretenses and formalities, but here is definitely not one of those places. For instance, the other night the one girl we have in my office slapped both me and the facility director in the face at different points, as well as running around calling everyone by their first name (I've never heard the director called Katsuaki-kun... very funny stuff when you're used to everyone using 'san' and mostly last names). She was upset because at the last enkai we had a few months ago I talked her into drinking an Irish car bomb, after which she passed out sitting up in her chair for about 10 minutes and then spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom praying to the god of porcelain before someone drove her home.

Personally I don't think it was the car bomb that did here in as she had a nice little drink queue going before that as well. She's got all kinds of goofy drunken tales and adventures... and injuries. Like the one time she came in with a bandage on her leg from where she burned herself by curling up in front of her space heater in the winter and passing out after a night on the town. Or the time she couldn't sit down or walk right for a week because she fell right on her coccyx on the sidewalk on the way out of a bar. That, and she invariably talks about how much of the last night's festivities she doesn't remember - this time, it was at least half the night. So yeah, I don't think my one drink was the real problem there, no matter how much punch it packs.

Other things I've found out at enkais include the fact that one guy at work is separated but still married to a woman that does piano lessons here every week - they sat on opposite sides of the room at the party though and don't get along at all. Oh, and then there's the one guy that had a shotgun wedding yet is still happily married. Besides gossip, it's an opportunity to find out what you have in common with people and get closer to your coworkers, which is really the whole point. I first really got to know my best friend out here at the enkai, after which we've shared many a snowboard run and karaoke room, at which he can sing any Green Day song you throw at him. We've both helped each other out at work with different things as well.

So they have these ritualistic gatherings periodically- either for holidays like New Year's, or welcome/goodbye parties, or after big projects, etc. I hear that some offices have little games (some with prizes), or that sometimes people will dress up in goofy costumes and such, but in my office they just drink. A lot. No formalities or pretenses, just let it all loose and have a drink or 12. The next day, everyone shows up at 9 and suffers through the day together with that look of mutual satisfaction. From the sounds of it, I'm guessing Mike out in Korea gets the same treatment out there too. Yey asia! Where else can you go out drinking with your boss and call him a pustulating rectal wart and smack him in the face one night, then act like nothing happened the next day at work?

What's my job again?

So I constantly get asked what my job is and what exactly it is I do... even my one friend that works in the same facility (not my office though) had no clue what my job entails without further explanation. All he knew was that he'd walk in my office and see me pecking away at a keyboard all the time - if I'm busy I'm all over the place, but there's definitely a bunch of down time or prep time in this job depending on the time of year which sees me in front of a computer. Of course then there's my job title itself - Coordinator of International Relations. Could it be more vague? I mean sure it's accurate, in the sense that statements like "I eat food" or "on weekends I like to do stuff" are accurate, but knowing my job title doesn't really clear things up regarding what I do from 9-5, or sometimes 1-9 on the daily. It really is a rather random job though that has me all over the place at times.... coordinating international relations. Among CIRs across the country that I've spoken to however, it sounds like my office is definitely an exception as I don't hear stories of hula cowboys or cosplay photoshoots or salsa on the water from many others.

So I thought I'd share a story about one of the more bizarre functions that I perform. You see, in my time here I've found that if someone comes to my office and wants to speak English, that's actually part of my job. I thought it was sort of weird at first, but they've told me to just go and talk to people - sort of like a rent-a-friend one on one English club of my very own. Woo. I get random guests coming to visit every now and then, ranging from foreign residents, to students that want to study abroad or already have, to an old guy that retired and moved to the Philippines, to some goofy tall guy that came in wearing a cowboy hat and boots to go with his Johnny Cash bolo tie and all black suit, and most recently to a group of middle-aged women, which in Japanese I refer to as baachans, that have their own little baachan English club where they talk about baachan things. They have commissioned me to give a speech for them on Maryland next week actually, but that's not the interesting part.

The interesting part is the head baachan. Her English really isn't that bad actually - she's a tour guide out in Matsushima, a tourist attraction not too far from here, and does tours in English and translates tourist info sometimes. The funny thing about talking to baachans in English though is that they are totally Japanese about it, which among other things means acting all super-impressed at everything you say or do while showering you in meaningless compliments and asking me if it's ok before doing anything. She has complimented me on not only my Japanese, but also mysteriously on my English... because I have a spectacular American accent. Baachans are like the social equivalents to the guy on acid that's amused by fast moving objects with bright shiny colors - doesn't take much to impress them. If they see me use chopsticks to eat sushi while drinking green tea their heads might explode.

So this particular baachan, the baachan boss if you will, called me up one day. I thought she wanted to confirm some things as I had just sent her the title for my speech, but she just starts going on and on about totally unrelated stuff which I had no clue about. She went on for about a good half hour about this guy she knew and the missionaries in my town and some other random stuff which I've probably just mentally blocked at this point. Basically, she just wanted someone to talk to in English. Then for whatever reason I agree to help her with some translation with Buddhas and shiny scepters and stuff - fax it off and sure enough, her comes the phonecall.

The last call I got from her though was totally out of the blue and absolutely puts all the rest to shame. So she calls up last week for apparently no reason whatsoever, and recounts a harrowing tale of her struggles at a local middle school. She prefaces this story with the disclaimer that she hurt her shoulder and was at first too embarrased to share it with her physician why, but apparently felt perfectly fine telling me, a complete stranger whom she just met a whole month prior. I've found that some Japanese will share stuff with you before other Japanese people since they figure there's less of a chance of you telling people they know or something. It seriously sounded like she had scripted this speech out - sounded way too rehearsed but hilarious nonetheless.

First she tells me that she teaches some Canadian exchange students Japanese at the middle school - ok, fine. And apparently the principal of said school told her to use the handicapped bathroom when she needs to since it's the cleanest. This particular day however, she used the girls bathroom on the 2nd floor since she was up there for her class. Sounds normal enough. So all the stalls are full since they're between classes, so she waits. A stall opens up, but the door to said stall is looking a little iffy. It's a little crooked and she has trouble getting it closed. Uh-oh. After a slight struggle, she gets the door closed and goes about her business. Upon completion, she has a little trouble getting the door open again. Oh no, what to do? She yells for help, but everyone's now in class and can't hear her calls. I'm biting my lip at this point as she verbally acts out the scene through the receiver. Now next, she said she attempted to climb over the door but got stuck, then whacked her shoulder but finally got over. I was trying soooo hard not to laugh at this point - I mean, first of all who does this happen to, and more importantly WHY WOULD SHE CALL ME TO TALK ABOUT IT??? In exscrutiating detail, in English no less!!

But hey, that's my job right? Sure. I have other functions, but this has to be one of the more bizarre ones - English speaker, extraordinaire. I seriously do get the impression that they just pay me to be the white guy sometimes. Meh, it's a living.

Come and get your ice cream!

Yes, that is the face of a horse on top of this container for ice cream. Why you ask? Well, that would be because this is ice cream made with raw horse meat! Mmm, tasty. That not enough for you? Well here's a list of some of the other colorful flavors you can find in Japan if you look around hard enough:

Pike (fish)
Octopus
Squid
Cow tongue
Sweet potato
Fried eggplant
Crab
Corn
Rice
Wasabi
Shrimp
Eel
Noodle
Chicken
Miso soup
cactus
Basashi (raw horse meat)
Goat
Whale
Shark fin ramen
Oyster
Abalone
Seeweed
Deep sea water
Spinach
Garlic
Black sesame
Sesame, soybean, and kelp
Lettuce and potato
Wheat
Natto (fermented soybeans)
Silk
Stout beer
Shochu (potato wine)
Red wine
Tulip
Sakura (cherry blossom)

You'd be surprised at how un-disgusting some of these are. I've only personally had black sesame, which is excellent, and wasabi, which is just meh, and have also seen sakura flavor offered before. I've also had a zunda mochi (sweetened rice cakes topped with green soybeans) milk shake which was good. I can't imagine what meat-flavored ice cream is like, but I have had meat-flavored beer thanks to George and Matt, and I hope it's better than that.

Oh, and apparently there's an ice cream shop in Tokyo somewhere that has crazy ice creams from all over the country, so I'll have to check that out. You see, everywhere has it's specialties, and some people apparently like to make ice cream out of it regardless of how insane it sounds. I like a lot of this stuff by itself, but horsemeat ice cream? What were they thinking??

Rain

So today's weather forecast? Rain. Yesterday? Rain! Tomorrow? Actually warm and sunny, but the day after that it'll undoubtedly rain. Welcome to what the Japanese no-so-affectionately refer to as tsuyu - the rainy season.

Now I don't really get this, but I hear a lot of Japanese people like to make a big deal out of how Japan has 4 seasons and the seasons are so unique and yada yada. Well that's retarded, and I'll tell you why - Japan doesn't have 4 seasons!! It has all the normal faves with spring, summer, autumn, and winter, but then there's this 1-2 month period right about this time of year where if it doesn't rain then you wonder what's wrong sometimes. It totally qualifies as its own climactic phenomenon. It really is separate from spring, and leads you right into a hot, sticky summer. Anyway, yesterday everything was all honkey dorey until about the time I got off work, then sure enough it started up when I was grabbing some grub en route to my Japanese tutor. I'm glad the big 'ol fat rain hasn't come yet... if you think it rains back home and you haven't been in a hurricane, then you probably really haven't seen rain.

So while I'm seriously waiting for someone to try to bust out the whole "unique 4 seasons" shtick on me so I can crush them with my superior 5 season plan, I have not-so-unrecently experienced a place that doesn't have the normal 4 seasons of the temperate zone in which I have resided my entire life. Thailand. See Thailand's a bit closer to the equator, so it has a pretty tropical climate, especially in the south. Accordingly, the north has 3 seasons, and the south has but 2. In the south the temperature doesn't really change that much year round, so the 2 seasons you get are dry and wet (monsoons - woo). In the north, you get a colder (such a relative term) season, then the dry and wet seasons the south does. So no, all countries don't have 4 seasons... including Japan because they have 5.

Man, I really wanna get back to the tropics... Okinawa anyone?

Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanese

Yes that's right, there's a new reality show on British TV in which Kelly Osbourne tries to one-up Paris Hilton by taking a 5-week trip out to the country she apparently idolizes - Japan. Here's the description:

“Kelly Osbourne loves shopping in Japan, but will her working holiday leave her dying to stay or longing to leave? Her first raft of jobs include managing a Tokyo Love Hotel, training with the Samurai and waitressing in a very strange cafe.”

I watched the first episode (which can be found here on youtube), and I found it amusing. I like how they're showing a balanced view - you don't just get the cool and bizarre, but also the seedier, darker side of Japan that most things like this would just gloss over or ignore. That, and it's amusing watching a self-proclaimed stuck-up princess forced to do all sorts of uncouth tasks.

NSFW Warning.

The King is back in Japan!!

Burger King is back!

That's right, after a 6-year absence you'll be pleased to know that Burger King is in fact back in Japan. They have one shop setup now in Shinjuku and are planning on opening another shortly in Ikebukuro I think... both Tokyo, but that's where everything in Japan starts so no surprise.

Apparently I just missed them last time as price wars with McD's drove BK out of Japan right before I got to Chiba and my study abroad. This time around though I think they'll be staying for a while.

I actually heard the news of Burger King's triumphant return a few months back when they announced that it and also Krispy Kreme Donuts would be making the venture into the Big Mikan. KK Debuted last December, and much to my (and most likely others' as well) surprise, you will still to this day most likely be waiting at least an hour in line just to get into the place to get your donuts. I seriously don't see why people don't just go to Mister Donuts though as those have been around for years and don't have a wait. I guess they like lines, like it makes you feel more accomplished and adds to the taste or something. Whateva.

Anyway, one thing in particular caught my interest in the article that I'd like to point out:

Miami-based Burger King is banking on the recent hunger here for greasy and sweet food, and a move away from the healthy, traditional fish-and-rice centered diet.

I dunno how true that really ever was... at least in recent history. But really, you would not believe how much fried food Japanese people eat. Tempura? Fried. Tonkatsu? Yep, fried. Karaage? Fried-a-roni. Korokke? (basically croquettes) Friddly-fried. They even have fried tofu, (Agedofu anyone?) And I bet that whole fried sushi trend that some Koreans started and has spread to the US would do well out here as well. It's like I'm in the Deep South - you dip it in oil and they'll probably eat it. (yes, KFC has a following, but it tastes like chicken tempura to me) Also ramen, one of the most popular foods out here, is basically a bowl of grease and oil with noodles - a bowl at my favorite place up here will grow a layer of greasy skin if you let it sit too long, which is why I ask them to cut out the grease.

I'm not complaining as it does taste good, but I'm just trying to point out that the whole image of Japanese food being all rice and fish and health food is a misconception. The food is excellent, but it's not all healthy. Oh just as an aside, Japanese people hate raw celery for some reason - haven't found one person that likes it. And there has been a recent trend, like they're saying. McDonald's now has the Mega Mac (do they have these back home too?) with it's 4 patties and daily allowance of calories all in one wollop, or a double teriyaki burger now if you prefer. Japanese are catching on to the whole eating big thing I guess. If it means the days of anorexic looking girls running around skinny enough that I can see their rib cages are over then ok, but I hope they don't start blimping out like back home. Oh, and it's had a noticeable effect on the sizes of boobs nationwide. I think I did actually hear that the UK is fatter than us though, so that's one thing to be... ok no, there's nothing good about that. The world is fat.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, yey BK!! Gimme a Whopper with cheese and some scrumptious fries!

The neurosis of Japanese society

Hey all, been rather busy with the work these last couple weeks, but my prepping for my wine tasting event tomorrow are done and so I have a little room to breathe. By the way, how does this sound? 70-80 people, 40 bottles of wine, a fresh pasta dinner with your choice of sauce and a salad/garlic bread, and one free ride home for about $15!

So anyway, while waiting to receive the final 10 bottles set for delivery, I ran across this link and thought it was hilarious, mainly because it's sooo true. The author is a Japanese guy that spent 11 years in the US, then came back to a wall of bureacracy when he got home. Anyway, a little anecdote from the link:

In the last three years, I have been called a member of the revisionist school. The revisionists are known for stating that the Japanese are different from Westerners, socially, politically and economically. I do not consider myself a revisionist, but I must say that Japan as a system is quite different from the West. How different? Japan is a conformist society.

Let me give you an example. The following incident took place at the Akasaka Prince Hotel. It was around 6 p.m. and I was waiting to meet a friend. He had asked me to wait for him at the bar on the top floor. Since I arrived early I sat at the counter. A waiter came and asked what I would like to drink. I noticed an open bottle of white wine in an ice-bucket behind the counter, and the following was our dialogue:

"I would like to have a glass of white wine."
"I'm sorry but we can't offer you white wine. "
"Why can't I have a glass of white wine?"
"It's not on the drink list."
"But I see an open bottle of white wine right over there."
"I will bring you a wine list and you can choose a bottle from there."
"But I only want a glass of wine."
"I'm afraid you will have to order a bottle."
"But all I want is a glass of wine."
". . ." (Silence)
"Why can't I have a glass from the bottle which is already open?"
"I'm sorry, I will have to talk to my superior."

After waiting for a couple of minutes, the waiter came back with a man in a tuxedo.

"Sir, I'm sorry but we do not offer wine by the glass in this bar."
"If that's the case, why is there an open bottle of white wine over there?"

He goes to the bartender, who whispers into his ear, then returns to me.

"That wine is used to make cocktails."
"What kind of cocktails?"
"The cocktail is called Kir. We mix it with Cassis liqueur, sir."
"I see. Okay, then give me a Kir without the Cassis."

The floor manager thought about it for a second, with a slightly perplexed look on his face.

"I'm sorry but we cannot do that."
"Why not?"

His look of perplexity increased.

"I will have to speak to the assistant manager of the hotel. Please excuse us."

I waited for about five minutes, and a gray-haired man came. His first comment was,

"We are trying to accommodate your request as much as possible, but up until now nobody has made this kind of request."

"Well, you should be happy that I'm setting a precedent for you. Charge me for the price of the cocktail, but just give me a glass of wine."

"You see, we're happy to accommodate you with anything from the drink menu, but I regret to inform you that we don't offer anything not on the menu. It's our policy."

"You just told me that your job is to accommodate guests' requests as much as possible."

"Yes, sir."

"I don't think I'm requesting anything outrageous. All I want is a glass of white wine, and there is an open bottle right in front of us. I don't understand your inflexibility."

". . ." (Silence)

"You run a first-class hotel."

"Thank you sir."

"I believe that the first thing you learn in hotel management course is to try to accommodate guests' needs."

"You're absolutely right sir."

"So don't you think that granting my request would be staying within the principle of good hotel management?"

"That is correct, sir."

"So if I'm correct, why can't you offer me a glass of white wine?"

The assistant manager, with a strained smile on his face, replied,

"Okay, we will offer you a glass of white wine, but please understand that it will be only for today."

I finally got what I wanted, but it took more than 15 minutes. This is just one example, but this kind of rigid behavior is rampant in Japanese society. This rigidity reminds me of patients who exhibit symptoms of frequent hand-washing, which is often diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is difficult to think that so many people in Japan have neurotic symptoms. In fact, most people I meet privately do not exhibit any signs of neurosis; they are normal individuals. The question then is why do these people become rigid in an official setting? My answer to this question is that it is not the people, but the system, that is neurotic.

The problem lies with the bureaucrats, the architects of Japan, Inc., since they are not aware of their illness and they continue to educate, or to be more fashionable, to "mind control" the people. Once people are in a group setting, they become disciples of Japan, Inc. In the case of the incident at the Akasaka Prince Hotel, the assistant manager's job, instead of accommodating customers' needs, is to keep customers within the bounds of the existing rules and regulations.

This may seem ridiculous, but sometimes it really is all too true! One time I asked a girl to give me a Coke with no ice... after giving me a totally blank stare for a bit, she actually goes to the manager to discuss the matter. After consultation, she finds that yes it's ok to not give me ice. Ok. Sooo, I get my Coke and look down and what do I find? A half-filled cup of Coke! I show her this and ask her where the rest is - she said that she was only permitted to give me a set amount of Coke!! After some scowling and pleading to her apparent lack of reason from my view, off to the manager she again goes. They consult. He then comes over and apologizes, saying that he apparently can't spare the fraction of a yen it would cost them to properly fill my cup. The reason? "Because that's the way we do things." Wow.

All I have to say is, this guy has a book (in English evenand man do I want to check it out. And with that, my wine has arrived! Back to "work"...

What I did on my Golden Week vacation...

Work!!! And not just work, overtime! That's right, this Golden Week, the one time of year that most people working full time office jobs take time off of their standard routine of feigning busyness staggered with the occasional interruption of real work, was spent working. (note: Japanese people do work hard most of the time actually, albeit rather inefficiently if you ask me.) Friends are taking trips to Vietnam, or Thailand, or China, or even San Francisco, and I'm at work helping out with the biggest event my office has annually.

The event? A 3-day annual cultural bonanza featuring Argentina. Awesome food, a great tango performance, some friends (new or otherwise), and 6,300 people. First we sold out on all the beer, then the wine, then the cookies and food. It was tiring, but I could deal with that kind of work all the time - outside in perfect weather, talking to people and having a good time. In addition to the performers we had flown/bullet-trained in from Tokyo and Fukuoka, there was a guy that volunteered to help out from Osaka that took a bus (crazy - at least 10 hours over the 2 buses) and a fellow CIR that came up from around Tokyo. She's the only Argentinian JET in the country. Oh, and the Argentinian ambassador was there too, with my job being to shadow him the whole day.

It's sort of a blessing in disguise if you ask me, since with Golden Week being the biggest vacation week for Japanese rivaled only by New Year's, all the big locations are 1) busy as hell, cramped with people and 2) at least twice the normal price. So yeah, I was spared that and given time off to do with what I would. And with that time, I have 2 4-day weekends, one of which will be spent in Tokyo with some friends. I've also gotten some much needed cleaning done around here, and yesterday got to take a nice leisurely jaunt down to Shiroishi to play some soccer on a really nice pitch.

I learned a little something yesterday... or I guess I should say I was reminded of something. It takes forever to get anywhere by car in Japan. No wonder they think 5 hours in a car is far - it's exhausting out here! See, now if I took the highway then I probably would've been down to Shiroishi in about 45mins. to an hour, depending on how saucy I was feeling that day. I also would've been shelling out something like 1500yen each way though, making it a rather expensive endeavor indeed. No, I instead decided that the weather was nice, so I'd take my time and take the regular roads. The problem there? Speed limits of 50km/h the whole way if I'm lucky, and a light on every single block. The. Whole. Way. So what should've been a 1-hr. trip becomes 2, and I barely make it in time for the match.

So yeah, if you're going by yourself and you can take the train or suffer the consequences - the trip would've been about 1:15 or so by train if properly timed. And if going with people, take the highway and split the outrageous fares. Oh, and I hear that June is car tax month too, because the super high fares and amazingly high taxes on gas aren't enough to keep the roads in good shape apparently. And this is why it's expensive to have a car in Japan.

Weird festivals in Japan...

Yeah... so the above is something I just ran across tonight searching around online... a festival with traditions dating back over 100 years in which sumo wrestlers hold babies up in a crying contest... you can't make this stuff up! Link here.

In addition to some of the more conventional festivals like Tanabata, which is huge in Sendai by the way, there are gems out there like the fertility festival held at an actual shrine out near Nagoya (apparently many affectionately refer to it as the "penis shrine", and with good reason), and my favorite, the naked man festival.

See, this last festival, held in the dead of winter, has you dressing up in one of the sumo diaper-looking things you see above - as an aside, if that guy was holding me up I'd cry too, then pee all over his diaper. So yeah, 1,000s of half-naked guys in the freezing cold, and they make you walk through a shallow yet frigid stream, then fight for a small bale of sticks in the maelstrom of nudity coagulating in a massive moshpit/scrum-like gathering at the base of a shrine. Traditionally, the person who brings a stick back to the door of the shrine is supposed to have a fruitful and productive year, but more recently, the one I heard of puts a gold stick in there as well that also comes with a cash prize. For this reason, I hear that some yaks try to enter, and will seriously mess you up if they find you with "their" gold stick. This in turn leads them to disallow anyone trying to enter with visible tattoos, but unless you have one of those full-back murals the old school yaks like then you can patch it up and squeeze through from what I heard.

Man, I gotta check some of these out some time! ;P The best stuff I've been to thus far was the snow festival up in Sapporo and the Streetjazz festival in Sendai, which is like on a totally different scale.

Monkey Majik!

Ok, time to introduce you guys to some "local" talent - Monkey Majik. I say "local" because although the band is based out of Sendai, the lead singer and his brother, comprising half the bands members, are from our good 'ol neighbor to the North, Canuckistan! The lead singer and guitarist is actually a former ALT, which is the English teaching job that most others on the JET program do. Apparently after doing his time, err stint, on the English circuit, he called his bro over to help out with a band he started. Dude's Japanese lingo is probably better than mine and he mixes and matches with the English, making for an interesting mix sometimes. Needless to say they're big news out here, but recently they're starting to gain more recognition nationwide in the 2nd biggest music market in the world. (seriously, Japan's #2!!) The videos are 2 of their more recent releases, the 2nd being with M-flo, another multilingual act.

video 1
video 2


So yeah, the multilingual thing is where it's at in the music industry out here it seems... if you can pull off English and Japanese and mix them seamlessly then it's a winning combination. They've always loved throwing in little English words or phrases in there, but lately I've heard more and more acts that honestly qualify as bona fide bilingual acts. I like these two in particular though because I like the image they project as foreigners to the Japanese public. You may have thought that guy (he's called Verbal) in the 2nd video was Japanese, but he's actually a Korean guy that grew up in Japan going to an international school and graduated from Boston U! Anyway, the more high profile foreign Japanese residents with rockin' Japanese skillz we got out there the better, I say. Rock on.

Oh, and the way I found out about Monkey Majik originally was pretty interesting too. A friend of mine is apparently pretty good friends with the younger brother, BJ - she plays tennis with him all the time and stuff from what I hear. They're supposed to be pretty cool and all... they had a b-day party downtown a few months back that was open to the public, although I found out about it much later. Due to their popularity up here, I've put them in heavy rotation in my recent karaoke sessions.

Ok, check 'em out and enjoy!

Hanamis rule!

Ok, it's official - I'm no longer a hanami virgin. I have popped the proverbial cherry... blossom. (cue slapstick bad pun drum roll ;P) One may wonder how I almost got through 2 full seasons of hanami in Japan and not gone to one, which I think may actually take more effort than just following everyone and going - and I do mean everyone.

See, last time in Chiba I went out to Ueno park in Tokyo and did in fact go to see cherry blossoms (hana=flower, mi=see), but I did not sit on a tarp for hours on end hopping from party to party with friends and random people in an excuse to get as much beer and snacks in my face as is possible for as long as possible, so it didn't count. That time we walked through, drinkless, looked at the flowers, then went to your standard izakaya restaurant/bar and that was that. No real different than any other night out, really.

This time around was sooo different though. These things are going on all day and pretty well into the night, and I'm talking weekends and weekdays, weather allowing of course. I hear stories of many a weekday warrior going straight from work/school to hanami, returning home on the last train, then waking up the next day to do it all again. I wasn't that sprite and nimbly-bimbly, but I did get around to the first part of that equation. I just happened to have today off, that's all, and if it wasn't pouring out here today I'd probably be out there again.

To give you a mental image to accompany the physical specimens that will follow (as in pictures), there are tarps under trees and people sit on them, normally with copious amounts of various alcoholic beverages and snacks. With "Dutch courage" in hand, it also seems a lot more common to see people mixing groups here and flowing over into the next group, which is normally a no-no in Japanese etiquette. Unless you're white, then of course you just do whatever you want as normal. As I mentioned before, it's sort of like a swarm of little outdoor parties/picnics within close proximity of one another and no barriers separating them. An izakaya without the walls if you will. It really doesn't have much to do with the flowers - I mean, you can barely even see them at night. Granted however, this may just be the modern perversion the kids have given to a time honored Japanese tradition that's been going on since the days of Genji and beyond - I've heard as much for the coming of age festival, in which newly legal drinkers don't wait to get home from the ceremony to get belligerently loud and obnoxious. Anyway, in it's current incarnation I'm thinking during the day it's closer to a picnic with a beer or two, but given the fact that the average Japanese person loves to drink despite being extremely weak at it that sort of falls apart as day progresses into night.

So yeah, good times. And with that and no further ado, I present you more pictures. Proceed to flickr and enjoy the rest of your day.

Tokyo - the big Mikan

I shall start off with a little Engrish gem I found that a new acquaintance of mine found in Thailand - it has not only funny Engrish but also funny Japanese!


And with that, I shall now talk about Tokyo since I was out there last weekend living it up. I've always sort of thought of Tokyo as like NYC with a whole bunch of Japanese people running around, which basically means it's just a big huge international metropolis and isn't really that representative of Japan as a whole. I never really enjoyed it that much when I lived right next door in Tokyo as a student, spending the vast majority of my time living it up and partying locally.

Now though, I'm starting to warm up to the place. I think there are 2 factors involved here - 1) I now have money. Tokyo is frickin' expensive to go out, so if you're on a tight budget then you may not enjoy yourself. Clubs are usually 2-3000Y at least to get in, and drinks can add up. If you just go for karaoke or some 2hr. all-you-can-drink deal like they have everywhere then it's roughly comparable, but you still have to pay to get around as well. A good night out in Tokyo usually runs you about 10,000Y (~90USD) - I think Saturday was about 15,000Y for me, and keep in mind that's with free accommodations since my friend Matt is such a nice and wonderful guy.

2) I don't live anywhere near Tokyo. The only time I go there now is to visit friends, or for the occasional convention, which is really just something for me to do during the day wasting time between the nights where I visit friends. It's vacation town.

There are some other factors in there as well, but I'd say those are the 2 major ones. Of course there's the fact that Tokyo is a place where you can find absolutely anything, including Mexican and some decent Thai and Indian food. And it's one of the few places with actual clubs. I've been to live houses for bands, but no good clubs in Sendai. That stuff was cool back in school, but because I was there entirely for the sole purpose of learning Japanese I cared more about the Japanese stuff than variety. Now I'd say options are good - have some awesome ramen or curry rice one day and a juicy Hawai'ian burger or good Pad Thai the next. Go to a hanami one day, then dance to some house music at Yellow the next. In the past I thought the international element of Tokyo meant that it was less Japanese, but now I'd say that Tokyo is very much a part of Japan. It's a sign of where Japan is headed, since things start there and trickle down.

I'd also say that the people there usually have a better grasp on the rest of the world than a bunch of people do outside of the big city. Just like anywhere else, if you live in a small town you're more likely to be slightly removed from the rest of the world and more interested in local issues. After all, everyone's really only interested in stuff that relates to themselves, whether directly or through someone else. Go ahead and think about it - it's true. I'm lucky enough to be in cahoots with people that have international ties despite living in the sticks due to their jobs, but some of the people I interact with around town have absolutely no clue about the world outside of Mr. Miyagi-land and what I tell them, which is basically why I'm here.

Tokyo though is where all international businesses in Japan have their headquarters, which means that there are plenty of well-off foreign nationals to interact with as well as plenty of people that go abroad themselves for business and bring back all these crazy ideas from non-Japanland. People there have more world experience on average, which makes it easier for foreigners to get along, especially if you haven't been here long but even if you have. Also, all the best and brightest aspire to move to Tokyo after graduation since that's where pretty much all the big jobs are.

So do I want to go live in Tokyo now? Well I wouldn't go that far yet, but I will say that I am now starting to understand what people see in it. Yes it's expensive and crazy and crowded, which can be bad, but it's also more diverse and crazy and crowded, which can be good. Yes it's a big crazy city, but that's not necessarily bad. I would say that given the right offer I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of a short Tokyo stint, but I could see myself tiring of it after a while. Hey, sorta like Japan! ;P

And with that, I make no guarantees I'll post anything in the next couple weeks as I'll be working pretty much non-stop... or at least be at work non-stop. Big event coming up.

The yaks in full effect!

Hey all - been in Tokyo over the past weekend, and maybe if you ask nicely I'll tell you about it. ;P I'll save that for another time.

So I hear some craziness went down over at Virginia Tech - the media is simply a-flutter over here with everything too. My bosses heard that it was a Korean guy and were asking if he was an exchange student, sort of looking for a connection there somewheres. I see that he's been in the States since he was 8 though, so hopefully that's enough for them to stick with the fact that he's just a psycho that lost it and went postal and race/nationality has nothing to do with it. If you want to know my opinion, yes it's definitely a tragedy and I hope the families and friends of everyone involved are handling things ok. To put things in perspective though, how many people do you think died in Iraq that day? And by people I mean those on both sides, not just the casualty figures of the soldiers, since they're people too.

Moving along, some of the less reasonable people out there are using this to attempt to spark up the feud between Koreans and Japanese online as posted about here. I'd like to think said nuts are in the rare minority, but it's always those loud few that out shout the humble masses, right? If you don't know what I'm talking about with the whole J-K connection, then you must've missed the fact that Korea was colonized from 1910-1945 and all the atrocities that Japan threw Asia's way during that period. In addition to raping, pillaging and killing indiscriminately, I heard this one J-kid stole a K-kid's lunch and then said his mom had fat little stumpy daikon ashi legs. Things have actually been getting a lot better in the last few years, but every now and then people are stupid.

In other news, the yakuza have been rather busy out here lately. In the first yak-attack, the mayor of Nagasaki was shot and killed in broad daylight by a member of the Yamaguchi-gumi, which is one of the top yak families. The originally reported reason? He wasn't happy that the city refused to pay to fix his car, which was damaged by some potholes. Shyeah right, and nihon-zarus might fly out of my butt.

As if that wasn't enough, today I hear some guy goes and shoots another yak then holes up in some apartment just outside of Tokyo. As of now the cops are still in a standoff with said dude. Now this of course means that those same internet nuts on their J-blogs are scrambling to make a connection to something, which in this case means mixing the VA shooting and yak shootings into one big anti-Korean jumble of badness. In case you didn't know, a whole bunch of zainichi Koreans and other people lower down the societal totem pole in Japan are at the head of the yak trees, so of course it all just makes total sense that Kim Jong-Il orchestrated the whole thing from his secret lair, then ordered a pizza topped with corn and mayonnaise because I hear that's how he likes it.

I kid, but seriously this kind of stuff gets a whole bunch of attention out here, basically since the violent stuff is the majority of the news that Japanese people get of the US. If all they hear about is school massacres and us invading Iraq/Afghanistan, of course they're going to think that the majority of the populace is packing heat on the way to the corner store. Boo Japanese media.

yak story 1
yak story 2

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything...

It won't tell you anything related to my daily goings on, and it won't teach you anything about Japan... except maybe what's being passed around youtube on the Japanese side. And yet I simply must share - slug copulation, set to the soundtrack of Japanese pop artist Hirai Ken. It is just... wow. Enjoy.

(brought to you thanks to the fine people over at japanprobe)

Oh, and I got some Engrish for you here somewhere....

This lovely gem was at the top of a ski lift... taking the syntactical error out of the way I guess it gets the job done, but geez.

Ignorance: Freedom of soul. Wow. I have not as of yet graced this fine establishment with my patronage, but it certainly takes "ignorance is bliss" to new unexplored heights. Maybe the underlying message is that you can have more fun with English if you don't know what the hell it says. I guess their ignorance is my bliss sometimes, so in a strange way I concur.

Spring is... well, springing

Ok yes I know, two weeks. Bad, bad Doug. Shame on me. So new pics to see, this time from around Shichigahama. Now that the snowboard is away, I'll probably be going out to shoot pictures around town more often since I haven't as of yet. It's actually a lovely little town with some great scenery, so look forward to that. Also, my neighbor Jo just got back from New Zealand, so if you'd like to see a buttload of pics from the land of Mordor and sheep, click here. The blog's in French, but the pictures are bilingual. ;P

Now we're in the middle of hanami season here in Japan, which means that Spring has officially arrived. What little snow we had this year is slowly receding from it's mountainous perches to reveal... well ok, just a bunch of rocks, but rocks are cool too sometimes. More importantly though as it relates to this post flowers, and by correlation cherry blossoms, are starting to bud and bloom as nature shows signs of life all around.

Cherry blossoms only have a window of a little over a week where they're in full bloom, so everyone out here makes a huge deal out of them. They're treated as a national treasure, and not without reason. On the news, the weather is supplemented with a "sakura watch" telling you when to expect the cherry blossoms to bloom in your area and what stage the flowers are in (not yet, budding, in bloom, full bloom, gone!). The big thing to do this time of year is the hanami, which usually amounts to a picnic with plenty of friends and drinking on a tarp underneath the cherry blossoms.

Now the season has already come to close down in Tokyo but just about to spark up here... unfortunate considering I'm going down to Tokyo to visit people this weekend. The idea was to hit up hanamis in both locations, but I sort of missed the boat on that one I guess. I was planning on doing it anyway with whoever was down, but now I hear rain is in the forecast. Oh well. I'm hoping the blossoms will still be around when I get back as it'd be a shame to totally miss out. On the bright side of things, I'll be in Tokyo visiting people I don't get to see all that often, minus Mike, who probably has his nose buried deep in a manga out in Seoul right now because he's a nerd and had to stay and work instead of coming out to play with us. Boo work.

Oh, and apparently it was Easter this past weekend, which I totally forgot about. Happy Easter everyone, and while I'm at it happy belated birthday to both my parents! I'm sure though that you're progressively wishing people would just forget about birthdays now that you've both crossed to that other side of the hill. ;P

Personnel changes, and the bubonic plague

Ok, I'm covering 2 things this time around. First, I'm getting over a case of the plague... I mean, the flu. The way my boss reacted when I told him I had the flu though, you would've thought it was the plague. They didn't want me in the office for a total of 5 days from the day I first started showing symptoms, I was told to stay home and rest with my meds, and if I did go out to wear one of those stupid surgical masks as to not spread germs. Oh, teh hawtness. Ok, I get it - Japanese people are overly concerned with not inconveniencing their neighbors (even at their own expense), and thus I'm expected to be as well. Whatever. That doesn't mean that I have to enjoy those uncomfortable, itchy, and fashion disaster statements known as masks though. Japanese people, on the other hand, don't mind them at all - they'll wear masks if they have a cold, or just because they don't want to get a cold, or because they have allergies, or because hell everyone else is so why not? Or so it seems sometimes. I remember even seeing someone come out a while back with designer masks, which came in different colors and styles in order to not look so white and... sterile. So yeah anyway, I'll take my quarantine and you can keep your little mask. I was actually in bad shape there for a little bit - fever reaching 102F at one point with no appetite, curled up in a ball in bed for the better part of 2 days or so alternating between sleep and movie time. I've actually downloaded and gone through the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy - extended edition no less.

Ok, so now onto the next point of business, which has absolutely no connection whatsoever (sorry to disappoint): the annual changing of the guard. In Japan and probably some other nearby countries, April is when everything starts, including schools and most job contracts. Everyone graduates in March and following a slight period of ritual binging, moves straight to work the following month, where more ritual binging occurs. You rarely get people coming in any other time of year, except in rare cases like mine where the contract is set for a different period.

That's not the strange part - the strange part is that everyone else in the office will switch periodically around this time of year as well, usually once every 3 or 5 years or so. Not only that, but they do so sometimes at the drop of a hat - people in government offices get 1-2 weeks notice to pack up and move to a different office with a new position, sometimes in a new town... in bigger companies this can mean moving to a whole different part of the country. Now you would think these are promotions, and sometimes they are, but oft times it's just a big shift, moving you to a different section with no relation to what you were doing before, meaning you need to learn a whole new set of rules and skills. In most of these cases, especially lower down the chain, it doesn't really seem like they're asked if they want to move, but rather told where they're going to move.

Personally, I'm a bit boggled by what advantage this system can serve at the moment and how that would balance out sending someone who's been doing a job for 5 years to start over in a different section and replace him with some new guy who has to start from scratch himself. Maybe they do it so they can have their going away parties in late March, followed by their welcoming parties in April. If there's one thing I have realized, it's that Japanese love excuses to have a party and celebrating BS holidays like Spring solstice, which I actually got the day off for, and White Day.

I'll tell you, the second you figure out one thing about this place, something else comes right along to make sure there's always at least that slight tinge of confusion flittering in the background.

It was a good run...

Well, I made what I thought to be a rather important discovery this past week - CBS decided it would be a good idea to make all games for March Madness available online, both in live feed and recorded playback. I wholeheartedly concur!

So this means that I have seen MD slide by Davidson in the first round, and also means that I woke up at 4:30 this morning to watch Butler squeak by us in the 2nd round. Although I am disappointed as I believe we could've given Florida a run in the sweet 16, I'm still happy with how they finished the season and think that the way they were playing the best team won.

Equally as exciting is the fact that Duke got knocked out in the 1st round, proving that they were over-seeded and that we totally owned them this year. Any year that we make it into the tourney and do better than Duke is a successful one in my book. I guess from here on I can't cheer for MD or anti-Duke, so I'll be behind the rest of the ACC teams left. Here's looking forward to next year!

Daikon makes the news!

And in further proof as to Japan's obsession with food, a radish was in the news today. These giant radishes are known as daikon in Japanese, and this one looks like a giant foot. I remember hearing a while back about them talking about a daikon that was growing up through a sidewalk somewhere in the south and how it represented the Japanese fighting spirit that never dies, haha. What I thought was funny about this was that the headlines read 大根足("daikon ashi", radish foot/leg), which is also one of the worst insults you can give a Japanese girl.

You see, there is a genetic disposition for Japanese to have short and stumpy legs, which resemble this daikon. They're stout, like a good Guinness beer (without the goodness). For some reason though, they don't like people to point this out. There are also a bunch of girls here that are too thin for their own good though, and have the legs to prove it. On a semi-related note, the term for a flat-chested woman is a manaita, which comes from the word for a washboard. They don't like being called this either.

Oh, and I'm watching a food show right now - they talked about making peking duck stuffed with avocado and shrimp fried rice, and just now were talking about a way to serve maguro (tuna steak basically) with yakiniku (Japanese-style Korean BBQ) sauce and rice. Yum.

Japanese food

At home and sick... might as well make the best of it and post something I guess. The weather around here's been crazy lately, so maybe all the temperature changes are doing me in.

So this time around, I shall talk about Japan and its food. Food seems way more important to people out here than it does in the US - I've heard one person describe it as people in the US eat to live whereas Japanese live to eat. I would say there's definitely no denying that they put a lot of care into the food out here, and for the most part it means much better quality and less emphasis on merely getting the most quantity possible... although they do still have all you can eat places out here.

Some proof of the importance of food to the Japanese public:

• Every 3rd show on tv it seems is either a food show or has a food portion of the show
• Japanese people will take vacations based solely upon food specialties
• People know the local specialties of way too many places
• In Japanese there is a 5th main taste in addition to salty, sour, sweet, and bitter: umami
• I took courses on Japanese food history in Chiba... I doubt that'd be popular back home

People can go on and on about food out here if you let them... they'll talk about texture, ingredients and what would compliment them, alternate presentations, you name it. The ironic thing though is that despite the fact that food plays such a prominent role in tv out here, they almost inevitably use the same set of like five words to describe things on those shows! You'll never hear them call something nasty, it's always delicious (umai, oishii).

Now onto specialties - I once went down to Tokyo for some business mixed with pleasure, and decided it'd be a good idea to bring something back for peeps at the office since that is the standard when you go on a trip. So what did one of my bosses have to say? "Why didn't you bring something banana-flavored?" Apparently, bananas are the specialty of Tokyo, of which I had no clue. I've seen other people go places and bring back souvenirs (always food btw - another clue), and they'll usually have something to say about why it's special. This sometimes sparks discussions which go on and on... they can talk for a good 15-30mins. about it if nothing else is going on.

Also as I mentioned, when people go on vacations, they search out the specialties of the areas they're going to, and will sometimes even go on food vacations, basing their whole vacations on where specializes in the food they want to try out. For example, Kyushu is famous for tonkotsu ramen, and Osaka is known for its okonomiyaki, although Hiroshima has its own flavor of okonomiyaki which some find to be superior. Likewise Sapporo in the north is known for its fresh seafood, and more recently curry soups. Locally, Sendai is known for cow tongue and zunda mochi. I can't think of half as many examples back home... although there are local specialties I don't think many people really think of them. Japanese people will always ask you what the local specialty of your area is though.

Then there's the umami thing, which I just recently discovered - this is one possible explanation for why although MSG doesn't have any flavor it still makes things taste soooo much better. In fact, MSG was developed by a Japanese guy 100 years ago, who is credited with the discovery of umami in the first place! Umami is apparently a term used even in English among specialists to describe something that isn't really highlighted in the west - the closest term in English would be savoriness, as found in meats among other foods.

There's also how they put just as much care into how the food looks as how it tastes, and how they can take stuff from us and make it taste better like Pizza Hut or McD's... although they do like lots of weird stuff on pizza sometimes. (corn and mayo???) And with McD's, although they do take more care in preparations and actually make things fresh when you order them instead of letting it sit around, in the end it's still the same old McD's we've all come to accept only when it's the last available option. Maybe they spike the cheese on the pizza with MSG or something, but either way it rocks. Food is definitely one of the better points about being in Japan!

maikeru-jakuson, uii rabu yuu!!!

the king of pop returns from exile

Ok, so first off if you can read the title then you have a chance of understanding what some people's English sounds like out here, and second this one's for George. I heard that this was coming up, but now there's video evidence that a rackload of people did indeed drop 400,000yen (3,500USD) each on a chance to speak with Michael Jackson for literally a few seconds. What do you get for your money? No song and dance, but 2 photos together, a handshake, and about a minute or so talk to Michael Jackson personally. At the end of the video the announcer asks the woman if it was worth it, and she says it's a bargain! I even saw quite a few foreign faces in the crowd, which leads me to believe that people not only paid 400,000 to get in but probably also however much international airfare cost them to get over here in the first place as well.

And from the sounds of it, you might want to get used to Michael coming out of his little hole in the sand next to Bin Laden as I hear he's trying to get the Jackson 5 back together to do some shows in Vegas. If he was smart he'd stay out here in Japan though... it's normal to be attracted to kids out here and I'm sure they'd pay more. That, and he seems to be received much better just about anywhere outside the US, but I guess in the end there's no replacement for home.

Oh and btw, this post brought to you by my new favorite source of news from Japan (bizarre or otherwise), Japan Probe.

Go Terps!!!

So just now, as we enter March and its impending madness, am I getting around to seeing a Maryland basketball game, and I am pleased as punch with what I saw. Actually, from what I've seen online maybe it's a good idea that I missed out on the first part of conference play. So I got to see us win in what I would consider rather comfortable fashion for the second time this season over the pathetically slumping Dook Blue Devils. They seem to be rather mediocre this year, but Maryland triumphing over Duke is something that'll never get old to me. Sort of like pizza, or some good Thai curry, or cheese. Ok so I guess if you leave them out too long those things get old, but I still don't tire of them. Anyway, from what I hear I really wish that I got to see the NC game, but I was happy with the play of the team, especially the new kid Greivis (not to be confused with Grievous, although he may inspire more fear in the hearts of his opponents since he probably doesn't do that weird breathing thing) and that (c)Osby kid, which I shall dub "fro guy" for obvious reasons. That'd be cool if he started doing Jell-o pudding pop commercials like 'ol Bill used to do. Or he could be really cool and shave the sides for a Mr. T mohawk! Either way, they're going back to the NCAA's where they belong after 2 long years of a certain crazy runaway point guard and the aftermath he left in his wake. Stupid Gilcrist.

Yeah, and so of course looking around I heard the other disturbing news around the conference - Duke's Gerald Henderson dishing out a brutal elbow to the face of UNC's Tyler Hansbrough, whose nose expelled, gushed and oozed an astronomic proportion of blood and general unpleasantness all over the court and himself. See the video on Youtube. There was a bunch of bru-ha-ha to follow, and the evil Dookie was sent home early to sulk and contemplate what he did. I hear that he then kidnapped a baby from the crowd and bit its head off Ozzy style and spit it in the face of one of the cheerleaders, then kicked a baby seal on his way to the locker room where he met up with a harem of hookers and partook of several illicit controlled substances. Ok, well maybe not.

I also heard several references to an interview with Duke head coach Mike K...shasldfksafsky or however you spell it (heretofore referred to as merely "the devil"), who insists not only that his boy didn't do it intentionally, but that his guys always play nice. P-shaw I say - he is a dirty, dirty man who curses like a sailor on the sidelines, and whose players have been documented for going for blood on several occasions, especially with the likes of a despised cross town rival like UNC. Check out the links above for references to a certain Christian Laettner incident in 1992. He's also been quoted as asking why Hansbrough was still on the floor seeing as there were only 15 or so ticks left on the clock, making it seem like it was UNC's fault that his player, who can do no wrong and reportedly poops cupcakes and gingerbread cakes in his spare time, laid the smackdown on unsuspecting young Tyler's candy ass.

This is cool because:

1. "The devil" and his team are not happy about it, which makes me happy
2. Duke also lost again, which is always reason to celebrate
3. It gives me a new reason to dislike Duke, and "the devil", and sullies their reputation
   
4. It means that UNC's big man will have to wear a goofy-looking mask, which will be both funny and possibly make him play tentatively this weekend in the ACC tournament so we can stomp them a new one just like we did before
5. It was bloodier than a good number of boxing matches I've seen, which is brutal and cool

So yeah, all in all I would say it was a pretty good weekend in the world of college hoops. Please feel free to keep my abreast of any news or developments in the Terp world that I may not be privy to out here in Puroland.

"Thank you for safety driving"

The title is borrowed from a girl that went with me and some others on a trip this weekend. Her English is pretty good actually, but stuff like that just makes me wonder if they get as much of a kick out of my Japanese as I do of their English. Yeah, probably. ;P

So if driving is necessary I'm usually more than happy to oblige, and this past Sunday was one such occasion. We took a day trip down to the next prefecture and took in some sights in scenic Fukushima. All toll I drove us a total of 500km for the day, and it was my first chance thus far to actually drive on the highway and exorcise my speed demon. Cops are a pretty rare sight out here and there's very little enforcement of traffic laws - although I hear they're trying to really crack down on drunk driving lately (zero tolerance policy in Japan btw) - with the rare cop car on the roads and apparently the occasional speed camera on the highway. The only real big pain is that the highways here are pretty expensive. For example, we spent basically 50USD today on tolls. Bleh. Along the way and after going down a nice little windy road that wrapped around a beautiful lake, we stopped by an old Japanese village, a rock formation, a castle, and a lake. For pictorial evidence and further explanations, proceed to flickr.


Oh, and I know how people love drama, so along the way I heard a rather messed up tale of misguided love that I figured I'd share with you guys - don't tell anyone! (like you know who I'm talking about anyway) So this girl was telling us how the night before she slept over at this guy's place that she's seeing, but was rather upset about things so of course we asked for a story. Apparently she gets to his place only to find some feminine undergarments that were not hers. Of course she asks for his story, and here's what she got: "Oh well those are a friend's that slept over, but we didn't do anything." Yeah, because I have girls over and we sleep together in the buff (in the winter, mind you), but it's purely platonic. She proceeds to tell us how there are 3 other girls, that she knows of at least, that are basically in the same boat as her, but it's ok because he says that she's special. Her response? "Well I like him, so I want to believe him."

There's no real point to that story, I just thought I'd relate it to give you an idea what goes through the head of some Japanese girls... or maybe I should say girls in general? I dunno, I could never figure out what they're thinking either way. Oh yeah, and the guy is American, so it shows you the respect some guys that come over here have for the women too... or again, maybe just guys in general. I hear a bunch of people that say they're not really that crazy about dating Japanese guys. I don't have any personal experience on that one, so I can't really say why.

Japanese cell phones are the devil

March on, oh mighty "thumb tribe"!!

Ok, I'll be the first to say that Japanese cell phones rock - although their American counterparts are catching up, they are still hands down better with their many features and niceties. You've been able to watch tv/videos and take pictures/videos (mine's 3 megapixels) on cell phones in Japan for years now, and I've seen other features on phones such as IR ports, debit card capability, dictionaries, and on in addition to the standard texting/internet/phone functions we've all grown to learn and love. They use them to check everything from train schedules to email to movie and restaurant reviews in daily life. Also, a very high percentage of the population carries them everywhere, including grade schoolers and geriatrics, so people are even more dependent on them than in the US as well.

And you see, this is apparently where the problem lies - they're too damn good. Now what you may think is that Japan has all these great toys and gadgets, which means that the average Japanese person should be fairly technically versed and computer savvy, but that couldn't be further from the truth! This study shows proof that high cell phone usage by 20-somethings in Japan is actually keeping them from using computers for internet access - they only use PCs about as much as those in their 50's! And going around, you'd be surprised at how many Japanese have utterly no clue about how many a technological wonder that gets pumped out of their factories every day really functions. It really is true that while Japan itself is rather technologically advanced, Japanese are not necessarily so.

Take my office for instance - all the people in my office have laptops, but I'd estimate that they're all about 5 or so years old, and mine is the only in the office hooked up to the internet besides the one system in the back that everyone uses collectively. My closest friend out here, who's the same age as me, just now bought a computer at 27 - up until now, just the cell phone for him. So what about email, blogs, ebay, google, youtube, wiki, flickr, bittorrent, etc that we've all come to know and love - don't they exist in Japan? Well yeah, they do. Everything's out there, it's just that most people don't really make use of it for the most part. And the ones that do get used get a lot more hits from teens than 20-somethings apparently, which to me is weird.

Oh, and if you're thinking "that's good - less internet time means they're out being productive!!" think again as they just have even more of a passive tv culture than the US does - the randomness of Japanese tv is just about constantly on in the background if they're home. So yeah, Japanese cells are the devil - they make the internet suck.